The RBR Mailbag Thinks You Probably Smell Like Sour Milk

by Todd on Nov 20, 2007 2:26 PM CST in Humor

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the reason that other schools think all of us are inbred, semi-literate, redneck trash. Behold, a brief correspondence between myself and a former user known as The Truth. You might remember him as the guy who posted comments over and and over on every post saying something to the effect of "please vote: qb starter kit #14 or #17. the greyshirt kid is done!." You can look for those posts, but I've erased them, 'cause they were annoying. Anywho, it all started innocently enough when I e-mailed him to ask him to stop:

Subject: Spam Comments

This is Todd from Roll Bama Roll. We get it. You are upset about the QB situation, just like the rest of us. But spamming the comments and posting your plea for a vote is doing nothing but annoying everyone that works on and reads the blog. You posted a diary about it, that's enough. If you keep posting comments that have nothing to do with the post, we'll block you.

Sounds reasonable enough, right? Apparently not. His retort:

Todd:

Does The Nicktator Control this web-site also like the AH @ Tx A+M ?

If U "GET IT" todd and U R so Upset bout the "QB situation" why R U making Jokes about getting Beat by La Mon-Who .. GET SOME PRESS ON CHANGING this QB BS NOW..with Nicktaors permission ,of course..# 14 The GRAY-SHIRT kid is DONE...look @ his #'s

What Happen to Freedom of the Press todd, it applies to All, even Jock Sniffing so called experts and their web sites..

It should be "Roll Over Bama roll " and let Les @ [lsu] have his way with you Again..or La Monroe,miss st ur Choice...

Thx
TT

Knowing good and well that arguing with someone who's e-mails look like the text messages sent every few seconds by a 14 year old girl is not a wise idea, I still decided to respond thusly:

Seriously man, get a life. Saban is going to play who Saban is going to play, no matter what a bunch of fans on a website might think.

This, of course, did not sit well with The Truth:

I have a Great Life U need to get Some "Ball's" and Do your Job. .. Once [the expert]again U Stating the obvious "Nicktator does what he wants to do" spoken like a true jock sniff en Nicktator Bitch..and by the way Ur web Traffic does Not Q fy as Bunches..

When U post the Voting Poll on your home page then we will know u have found @ least 1 of ur balls.

Thx
TT

I'm not entirely sure what he thinks my "job" is here but, in hindsight, I'm afraid this gentleman thinks we're some sort of official arm of the sports information office at the University. Maybe I should have clarified that to him, but I assumed the header at the top of the page that clearly reads "An Unofficial Alabama Crimson Tide Blog" was enough. Silly me. Anywho, being the short tempered glutton for punishment that I am:

Or we'll know that you're the kind of semi-literate jackass fan that thinks he knows what's best for Alabama that has gotten us into the mess we are in now. I imagine if you had your way we'd fire the whole staff today. That's some forward thinking.

You know why other fans talk about Alabama fans being nothing but idiot rednecks with unrealistic expectations? Guys like you. You want to fan the flames and look like an idiot, start your own blog 'cause we don't need or want a troublemaker making the rest of us look stupid. They're free on blogger and wordpress, if you're smart enough to figure out how to set one up.

So, I suppose I was asking for this next bit (be warned, vulgar language ahead):

Just confirming U R 1 stupid MF without any Children or you would notice the abuse to 1 on the Bears roster .What has gotten U in this mes is allot of BS .No i would not fire the whole staff just the oc[who gets paid less than his OL coach has 2 years experince @ fn rice]] and would not pay Nicktator that much cash or have U as part of any web-site unless the traffic was 8 hits/impressions a day..

U don't need me to make U look Stupid, U r fine job of that with-out any-ones help as a Nicktatore Bitch..

"Guys like me" R U profiling me like your Great gov Mr G Wallace would and The Nicktator did The QB in Miami,Call Dante and ask what it was like playing for your Pimp the nicktator....

Do we need to call Uncle Al Sharpton on your red-neck ref's..I don't need to hide behind a BS blog like u and every other MF jock sniffer that always wanted to Be a player but Never Was..unless U r kicking some ass on X-box 360 or madden 2007..

Your 'smart enough' BS go look in the mirror and then Go get Last years W-2 or W-9 Tax form and then go look in the mirror again and see Studid all over again..

Smart enough, Like what The Univ of Alabama is paying The Nicktator...Now even a Stupid mother fucker like U would Not agree to that''

C-U @ The Tail-gate party..

Keep responding so we can show your Bosses and ur 7 fans

Again, not sure who he thinks my bosses are, and I'm starting to think this guy isn't an Alabama fan at all, but a troublemaking Auburn fan trying to stir us up. So feeling like I had to get one last barb in:

Seriously, grow up and learn to use entire words.

To which he succinctly replied:

U mean like Roll "Bama" Roll How Bout Fuck U ,

Now go finish ur X-box madden tour...after U burn ur w-2..

Well, he's got us there.

Anyway, despite all of our differences, I did think it was nice how he so politely ended all the previous letters with a sincere "thx," and it was even nicer of him to invite me to his tail-gate party, so I don't guess he's all bad. Now if you'll excuse me, there's apparently an X-box calling my name...

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Comments

Wow.

Just - wow.

As one who has played in the trenches, I can say without a doubt that was the most dumbass but entertaining thing I may have ever read. Unbelievable.

Maybe this guy was trying to cheer you up as you requested ;)

by Nose Guard on Nov 20, 2007 2:43 PM CST reply actions

Could be...

...it was certainly entertaining.

by Todd on Nov 20, 2007 2:44 PM CST up reply actions

lolz

That was beyond funny - and moronic. What an idiot. I forget the 12 yr olds are out of school this week.

I read his stupid comments and diaries, but didn't think it was that bad.

"FAILURE" - When your best just isn't good enough

by BamaReturns07 on Nov 20, 2007 3:13 PM CST reply actions

EDIT

I didn't think the situation was bad, not his comments. His comments from the beginning were retarded and uneducated, and looked like he learned to spell in a barn.

"FAILURE" - When your best just isn't good enough

by BamaReturns07 on Nov 20, 2007 3:15 PM CST up reply actions

gotta admit

the "and ur 7 fans" thing made me laugh

that and the -
"go look in the mirror and then Go get Last years W-2 or W-9 Tax form and then go look in the mirror again and see Studid all over again.."

i mean that's classic really

Who are these people and when did they take over the world?

by crbama on Nov 20, 2007 4:35 PM CST reply actions

Yeah, that was my favorite part, too

In one e-mail he implied that I'm both racist AND poor. He's a wily character, that one.

by Todd on Nov 20, 2007 6:55 PM CST up reply actions

I think

we need to seek the input of Coach Orgeron. This is so unintelligible only he can understand it.

by Nose Guard on Nov 20, 2007 4:45 PM CST reply actions

Stupid clauses

I'd love to rip him a new one, but then I remember "whatever you do unto the least of these..." And he's about as "least" as it gets.

by Steve Dave on Nov 20, 2007 5:39 PM CST reply actions

look in the mirror again and see Studid all over

That is some pretty funny stuff. I'd have to say the tax form references were the best. Oh and you not having any children.

But until you get death threats at work and your articles sent to you with "F--- YOU" written in big red ink, I think I gotcha beat.

Cause bama's pluck and gritt has writ her name in crimson flame.

by pluckandgritt on Nov 21, 2007 2:22 AM CST reply actions

Closet Aubum Fans and Prayers for Siran

Let's make this short and sweet....get back in the closet or get back in the barn! At least we won't have to deal with you're first grade, daddy's a fan...so am I view of the world. I've been a die hard fan all of my life. I've stayed faithful through the good and the bad..and even last week. If you are a true fan then shut the hell up and support your school. Yeah, It's hard right now, but it is still our team. I'm just as pissed as anyone about the way things are going, but I'll never let that get in the way of supporting my team and my school.

Let's all as Bama fans say a prayer for Siran and his family.....that's more important than who's right or wrong right at this point. Let's not forget the human element of the game.

Roll Tide....good or bad.....Roll Tide!!!

by rolltidenismo on Nov 21, 2007 6:03 AM CST reply actions

Tax Reference

I have to wonder if in this guys inner monolouge he speaks in text language.

On a side note, the tax form reference was priceless. Not only was it completely irrelevant, but also idiodic. The W-2 part, ok, i'll give you that one. I guess he's insinuating if you don't make a lot of money, you are a "Studid all over again". However, the W-9 form is the IRS Form to obtain a Tax Identification Number. Basically for an illegal alien to pay taxes because they do not have a social security number or for a business. Really has nothing to to with income generation whatsoever, but hey, i'm just an accountant, what do i know.

Roll Tide!!

by touncy28 on Nov 21, 2007 12:04 PM CST reply actions