Once upon a time, they had everything. In George's case, a lucrative real estate and frozen banana empire, millions of dollars, a cabin in the woods to take roller skate-wearing broads to. In Alabama's case, national titles, the most successful coach the game had ever seen, Joe Namath taking roller skate-wearing broads to a cabin in the woods.

But eventually, time and law enforcement caught up with them. By the end of the DuBose era, `Bama was reduced to hiding in the football equivalent of the Aztec Tomb, waiting for punishment. (The NCAA dogs found Logan Young almost instantly.)

Since then the Tide have stewed in the NCAA's jail, desperate to escape and reclaim their position at the head of the family. How desperate? `Bama hired a shirt-chasing Pac-10 passing guru to run the program; they might as well have been trying to escape house arrest via Japanese rocket-pack. I think there were probably more than a few `Bama fans driven nuts enough by `Bama's failures to start asking their dolls if they had any solutions.

But another thing that George and the Tide have in common, unfortunately, is that any funerals held for them were probably a little premature, though Tide fans' expectations of grabbing another SEC title this year are right up there with expecting a hot tub to successfully cook one's boil-in-bag dinners.