OK. I'll get us started.  Several Christmases ago, my brother and my sister-in-law gave me thong underwear as a gag gift.  We all laughed.  It was very funny.  None of us could imagine my fat, hairy ass poking out the sides of a thong. Just thinking about it now makes me giggle ... hee, hee, hee ... ha, ha ... ho, ho ... ahem.  I held on to them, though, thinking I could regift next year.

Well, I ran out of clean underwear a couple of months later.  It was either do laundry or wear the thong. Of course, I could have gone commando, but Stanley having no buffer between him and a metal zipper just sends shivers up my spine. Or, I could have worn dirty underwear. But, I had already worn several  of them twice. So, standing there in my birthday suit, staring down at my empty underwear drawer, I had to make a decision. ... I chose to do laundry.  What do you think , I'm gay?! (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Not so fast, my friend! Out of laundry detergent. Shit!  Long story short, they're really a lot more comfortable than you would think. And, it's a lot easier to scratch your ass. You just have to be careful when you jam your keys in your front pocket. 

Roll TIDE!