Gene Chizik, Party Monster Cabo, Tim Tebow, and Pete Holiday
by Bamagrad on Dec 13, 2008 8:41 PM CST
Email
PrintGene Chizik:
My friends, Auburn has once again tried to emulate Alabama in the worst way, and by worst way, I mean worst in the pejorative sense. This is akin to Bob Bockrath all but forcing Gene Stallings out and hiring a manageable toady like Mike DuBose in 1997. This is worse, though, because at least with DuBose, we had the optimism that follows success, and we had an above average recruiter. Has Chizik ever recruited well? Is Auburn so envious of Bama that they're following the Mal Moore path to success?
Auburn's power players clearly panicked. Even if Tuberville resigned by his own volition, I sense that he'd had enough of the meddling administrators and boosters breathing down his neck, seeing what we all saw coming. Now they have to wonder (or admit) is there any coming back from a mistake of this magnitude?
Did Auburn set their football program back to the days of Doug Barfield? Let's hope so.
Party Monster Cabo:
I watch this show because I can't find Rambo or Rocky anywhere on DirecTv. I have to admit, it sucks. Sucks big time. Today they had Puff Daddy (P Diddy? Puffy? Sean?) and I couldn't help but wonder how funny it would be if I could host a party for him. I'd have three kegs in garbage cans and a bunch of drunk people standing around a boringly undecorated house. And I would be sent home the next day.
Tim Tebow:
How did Tebow not win the Heisman? Colt McCoy and Sam Bradford play golf and go to the gym. Tim Tebow circumcises Pilipino orphans. I doubt he's ever looked at a Playboy, let alone kissed a girl or touched a boob, and he loses? The guy's the closest living thing to John the Baptizer in cleats and he lost a Heisman contest involving two quarterbacks from the same conference. What happened? He doesn't even take steroids. He's never watched a porno. I know this for a fact.
Pete Holiday:
You are the Bama voice on AOL's biased and annoying Fanhouse. You are Pete. What year did you graduate from Bama? I ask because I wonder if I ever had a class with you.
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At first...
…I thought this was supposed to be some mythical gathering and conversation from the title, but then I figured it out.
I could make a really lame joke
that starts like this. Gene Chizik, Tim Tebow, and Pete Holiday are selected to appear on Party Monster Cabo. The guest is Lionel Richie and they have a budget of $10K to throw a party.
No, I had a lot of random crap on my mind and I wanted to pretend to be one of those Al.com reporters who throws in all the slice of life crap.
slice of life = copy + ads - content
"penis fish"…google that, and the candiru is the first thing that pops up
by Stuck in the Plains on Dec 13, 2008 9:02 PM CST up reply actions
I don't know how you know about the Tebow not watching a porn...
but I don’t think he’s so straight-laced as everyone thinks…
just good at hiding his dirt…what little there may be of it…
RBR's KING of HIP-HOP...
Slight correction
“You are were the Bama voice on AOL’s biased and annoying Fanhouse”
As of a few days ago, that is no longer the case. Long, boring story. Basically I wrote some things outside of FanHouse that the new management didn’t care much for. Them’s the breaks. More time to hang out on RBR now, though.
I attended the University for six glorious years from ‘99 to ’05 (don’t judge) . . . spent most of my time in math and engineering classes.
Short timer
I attended from 91 – 99 (with a few Dean mandated vacations to Shelton State in between). I look back on those years with pride.
I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk.
by That Other Dave on Dec 15, 2008 10:08 AM CST up reply actions
That's pretty damn awesome
I have always admired people who could pull that off (No joke…I really do). My oldest brother actually started college in 1986, attended for three semesters, transferred across the state to another school and attended for a year before dropping out; then, he started up again, transferred again, dropped out, went to work, and owned his own business before finally realizing he wanted to finish his degree. Long story short, he went to college in some shape or form from 1986 to 2000, and earned one undergraduate degree. That is pretty damn impressive in my book.
Ha, got you all beat!
I just took finals for this fall. IF they offer everything on schedule thru next fall(09), I should receive my BA in December. I started in 1989. 20 years for a 4year degree!
I would love to have some great excuse, like I was in a coma for 15 years, but I just kept doing other things. I did get an associates degree and a few other productive things in there. Oh yeah, the kid! ;)
I think...
…the record goes to a certain fellow I knew who enrolled at Alabama in1969 and earned his degree…in 1992. Talk about finishing.
by NiceLittleSaturday on Dec 19, 2008 1:55 PM CST up reply actions
i bet tebow gets more snatch than all of us combined
he just puts on that goodboy front
Hell, no! A tie is like kissing your sister!
he goes for quality
have you seen the ladies at UF? quality is no problem…..remeber its not the barn or ut
Hell, no! A tie is like kissing your sister!
And, if we're going there...
My guess is he also goes for quality, not merely quantity, and -just like Tebow, he scores…Puts it on his shoulders, so to speak…Bears down and gets it done…Digs deep…shows intestinal fortitude….goes deep…dumps it off….
S*** that’s too easy :)
"penis fish"…google that, and the candiru is the first thing that pops up
by Stuck in the Plains on Dec 15, 2008 6:03 PM CST up reply actions
SitP, just thought of you this afternoon!
There was an accident caused by a car just like yours! The wrecked car was white, covered in AU stickers, and had split a telephone pole. The girls were smoking cigs and crying. The driver of “your” car was a female in a business suit propped on the hood on her cell phone, cussing! (the car was fine)
Yea for Toyotas!
Leave it to Barners to attempt to destroy that which they cannot afford (at least until the next livestock auction!)
Seriously, I hope everyone was okay.
"penis fish"…google that, and the candiru is the first thing that pops up
by Stuck in the Plains on Dec 15, 2008 7:10 PM CST up reply actions
You mock Tim Tebow
and God will strike you with lightening!
Bama Fan: Teabag is a fraud! He bangs more girls than Hugh Hefner! I know it!
GOD: Hold thy tongue, plebeian fool!
Bama Fan: Naw, he—
GOD: Enough you brazen ignoramus! I gave thou the fire that burns and the fifteenth disciple and thou wanted more! Die, heathen, for thou hast pissed thee off! (Lightening flash and Bama fan falls dead)
FINIS
I actually thought...
that if you mocked Tebow, God would smite you with a left-handed quick slant for a TD or (another) Marquise Johnson hapless coverage?
"penis fish"…google that, and the candiru is the first thing that pops up
by Stuck in the Plains on Dec 15, 2008 10:49 PM CST up reply actions
Mike DuBose infuriated
Providence, and Providence damned us with Fran, Probation, Price (It’s rollin’, baby), and Mike Shula. Saban’s hire was sort of like the part in Milton’s “Paradise Lost” when the Devil realized he needed to make his own path in the world. We had to hire the Dark Lord because DuBose cost us our celestial favor.
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