Disclaimer: This is all in fun and is intended to be a joke. Though most of these feelings are true, none are meant to hurt anyone’s feelings or piss anyone off…..

On with the list! Just remember guys I’m not a writer!

Let’s take a look so far at #1-6 of the 30 Sports Teams that “Grind My Gears”

#1- The Barn: Why not hate them? They are Auburn.

#2- The ACC: Get a team besides FSU to win the BCS National Championship and then come                  talk to me.

#3- UT: Fat Boy, Puke Orange, and Rocky Top just to name a few.

#4- FSU: Finally the ACC caught up!

#5- The WNBA: Start dunking, then maybe we’ll watch

#6- The USC Trojans- Reggie Bush scandal and my apparent jealousy  issues with everything Trojan!

#7- Notre Dame!!

I’m not going to lie. I was surprised that most of you actually like USC. Maybe its just I didn’t hit the right points….I will be surprised if you guys actually defend the Irish. I think deep down inside most people would agree that Notre Dame is probably the most annoying sports team in all of the NCAA. Yes even more annoying than the Barn. I’m actually having a hard time narrowing down 5 things I hate about ND. “The list is long, but distinguished.” (What movie is that from?) But ill do my best.

So here it goes! My list of 5 things about Notre Dame that just “Grinds My Gears”!!

1. The Luck of the Irish: Ill start out with something that most people probably wouldn’t think about but is the basis of my hate. It’s the fact that their mascot is an Irish guy. You’re probably thinking “Is this guy going to hate on the Irish?”  The answer is yes I am. You see my family is Scottish. We are decedents of the Campbell’s of Scotland. I have the family crest on my wall. And any good Scotsman can’t stand the Irish. Now, I’m a big guy (6’3” 250 lbs) with a red beard and I’m always getting asked. Hey! Are you Irish? HELL NO! I reply. Now go away! I don’t celebrate St. Patrick’s Day and everyone knows not to pinch me! It’s just a given. I don’t hate the Irish. I’m actually married to one but I could never be a fan of a team that has an Irish dude as a mascot. It just couldn’t happen.

2. Their Contract with NBC: Why the hell does a team need a contract with NBC to soley air their games? I know the contract means MAD money for Notre Dame, to the tune of 9 million a year but why do you need your own freakin channel! Are you so elitist that you must have your own network broadcast your games? Like ESPN, CBS, and ABC aren’t good enough for you. I know that the Big 10 has their own network and there is an SEC network in the work but to have ONE team have ONE channel is retarted. It seems though that it doesn’t seem to be working out to well for NBC though.

            Spending $45 million for this privilege didn't seem risky in '05, given Notre Dame's competitive squad and cachet. It does now: NBC's television ratings on these games have fallen so precipitously that negotiations for Notre Dame's next TV deal may be affected if the program doesn't rebound.

Already, NBC has had to adjust its advertising pricing strategy. This fall the ratings on Irish games fell 40% from last year and are now half of their 2005 levels. NBC has had to give loads of free ads (known as make-goods) to companies like Allstate (ALL) and Procter & Gamble to justify the $55,000-to-$80,000 rates for a 30-second ad it negotiated before the season started. Media buyers will demand better rates for the 2008-09 season. "Those ratings will be a delicate negotiating point for NBC going forward," says Sam Sussman, sports director at media buying agency Starcom MediaVest (PUBGY).

NBC: Blindsided by Notre DameHow a terrible year for Fighting Irish football is putting a dent in the network's ad revenue by David Kiley

I find it funny how NBC is getting screwed by this deal. Luck of the Irish my ass!

3. Notre Dame isn’t in the top 25? I half expected to see the Irish at # 25 in the coaches poll this year. Just for shits and giggles. Hell this is the first year in a while that they haven’t been. Growing up I new 3 things about college football. #1 Alabama Rules! #2 Auburn Sucks and #3 Notre Dame was always in the top 10. It wasn’t until I got in my teens that I figured out it was a conspiracy.  I know they aren’t in the top 25 right now, but don’t worry. After they lay an ass woopin to San Diego St in week one they’ll be in the top 15. That leads me to reason #4

4. Their Schedule: Are you kidding me?! Have you taken a look at it yet? If not ill do the honors.

2008 Notre Dame Football Schedule
Sept. 6     SAN DIEGO STATE  Win
Sept. 13     MICHIGAN Loss
Sept. 20     at Michigan State Loss
Sept. 27     PURDUE Loss
Oct. 4     STANFORD Win
Oct. 11     at North Carolina Win
Oct. 18     Open Date
Oct. 25     at Washington Loss
Nov. 1     PITTSBURGH Win
Nov. 8     at Boston College Win
Nov. 15     vs. Navy (at Baltimore, Md.) Win
Nov. 22     SYRACUSE Win
Nov. 29     at USC Loss

That puts them at 7 wins and 5 losses without even battin an eye. That’s an automatic bowl bid guys. And if some of those Big 10 teams fall on their face (and I think they will) i.e. Michigan (new coach) and Michigan State (why not) then they could easily be 9-3. Throw in a surprise victory over lets say a Purdue or Washington, then they could be 10-2 and get a BSC nod. What we’ll  have then is Notre Dame frenzy. ESPN will be jizzing all over themselves and all us will be losing our lunches. We all need to be praying HARD that this doesn’t happen. Lets go every team that isn’t Notre Dame!! Go! Go! Go!

5. Independent? Really? Come on Notre Dame wake up and join a conference. I think its time. Now I know this would mean you’d lose your 9 million a year contract with NBC but you’d share in the revenue of whatever conference you join. So whats the big deal? And don’t say you don’t want to lose your classic matchups with Navy and USC. That’s what non- conference games are for. Just join the Big 10. This will help out you and the Big 10, I mean Big 11. You will join a conference in which you are right smack in the middle of and you also make the Big 11 the Big 12! Shit now we have two! Oh well old Big 12, sucks for you. This also will help in the argument for a playoff. The new Big 12 would be forced to split up like the SEC, ACC and old Big 12 and they will have a conference championship game. MAN! This is brilliant! All we would have to do is get the Big East and Pac 10 to get on board and we’d be set. Come on Notre Dame do something in your life that means something!! PLEASE!!!!

Man I wish I wouldn’t stop at 5. I could go on for days but I have already spent an hour of my work day on this…J

To wrap up I really don’t like Notre Dame. For all of their tradition and crap, I just wish they would go away. What sucks about it all is I really like the movie Rudy. Does that make me a hypocrite? Who cares! Anyway, if I missed something feel free to throw in your shots. But for now. These are the 5 reasons why I…..

HATE NOTRE DAME!!!!