I admit, I'm kind of a jerk for this
by Nick's Hat Band on Jan 23, 2009 5:47 PM CST
Email
Printbut I can't help but laugh at the post on Track 'Em Tigers entitled "The Beautiful Plains", an open letter to potential recruits. I stumbled across this gem while checking out all the Willis-related posts. It is unintentional comedy gold, at least if you have a sense of humor like mine and you're not an Auburn fan.
I linked the post below, but to get to 75 words, I'll give my comments on some of the best parts. Italics are the original, my smart@ss comments follow:
To the recruits out there, you really should greatly consider AU. When you become part of Auburn you're part of the family, not just a football player.
Just ask Chaz Ramsey or Clinton Durst.
If you're a big time receiver recruit, I cannot see how you couldn't want to go to Auburn. Trooper Taylor is there and his record speaks for itself. Plus, Auburn will put a new Wide Receiver to work right away.
Blocking.
Running Backs, this is Running Back University. We're going to run the football a lot, and it doesn't matter what kind of offense we run.
Information Tony Franklin could have used in December, 2007.
I cannot see how you wouldn't want to come out to a beautiful place, a family atmosphere and a great set of facilities. Do not forget, there is also a new set of great position coaches that will have you ready for the next level and will help you learn important life lessons. Come out guys and see for yourselves. You won't regret coming out here.
I don't get the repeated references to Auburn as being "out here." Is this 1820 and Lee County, Alabama is considered part of the frontier? Perhaps these recruits need some assurances there will be no more Creek uprisings and there's sufficient food to last through the winter?
http://www.trackemtigers.com/2009/1/21/730189/the-beautiful-plains
FanPosts are just that; posts created by the fans. They are in no way indicative of the opinions of SBN and the authors of Roll Bama Roll.
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Why does the Barn need Willis
when they have such natural recruiters built into their fan base? I wish we could write a letter like that – I bet it’d get us some five star prospects quick…oh, wait…
I bleed crimson and white...I puke Vol puke orange. RTR
"Out There"
Are the words you use to describe a hunting cabin not the best 4yrs of a youngs mans life.
Auburn fans are like slinkys... not really good for anything but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Not only that
don’t you always want a brand new set of position coaches? Maybe, with just a little luck, they’ll have a whole new set next year and the year after, too! And going by their experience as of late, a new set of coaches midway through each season!! No other school offers that!
marycontrary
Reading this
nearly made my morning coffee come out of my nose I laughed so hard.
Creek Uprising…that’s comedy gold.
Alabama judges its team by national and SEC titles. Auburn judges its team by how many times it beats Alabama. You tell me who the dominant team in the state is.
Auburn's a Family
I picture a guy wearing a blue blazer over an orange sweater standing in front of the campus. What a friendly, welcoming letter.
I'm thinking API is not...
going to be extending an invite to TET for the PR department.
“Come to Auburn, not as remote as Panjshir”
"penis fish"…google that, and the candiru is the first thing that pops up
by Stuck in the Plains on Jan 25, 2009 7:59 AM CST reply actions
Is
it just me, or does anybody else interpret “open letter” to also mean “this won’t be read by anyone who matters” ?
Thirty-Six to Nothing
I wonder if anyone has called the NCAA yet — it’s specifically against the rules for boosters to write letters to recruits encouraging them to enroll.
Good job, Pete...
and you didn’t even have to use the latest technology in es-pee-uh-noj.
The “L-O-I” should be in jacob’s office within days.
Kudos to you, sir!
by yellowhammer on Jan 25, 2009 6:17 PM CST up reply actions
The Auburn Family Tree
Is a lodgepole pine, few branches, and susceptible to disease.
God help them if the porcupines find them.
To all travelers out there...
I just don’t know why you wouldn’t buy a ticket on our ship. For those interested in leadership, we have an excellent captain and first mate who can sail safely through the worst of conditions. To all interested in safety, we have “plenty” of life rafts. To those interested in entertainment, we have top-notch facilities. We’re just flat unsinkable!
Signed,
Crew of the RMS Titanic
I bleed crimson and white...I puke Vol puke orange. RTR
Pat Dye
standing in the middle of the field, he’s alone and shouts “I’m king of the woooorrrrrld!!!”
Thirty-Six to Nothing
Open letter to all bama fans who use the argument that all Auburn fans talk about is bama
Dear Kettle,
You are black.
Sincerely,
Pot
"Jay Jacobs can't go to the bathroom without Bobby Lowder's permission" - Paul Finebaum
Touche, Gump...
A few of us talk about The Barn, and a few of y’all talk about us. There’s no denying it either way. Neither of our sites depend on taking shots at the other, but the occasional punch is thrown. If said punch is thrown, then you, and other Aub’s may come and defend your honor in a cordial way without being told you’re stupid and to get the hell off of our site, and I would hope your site would reciprocate.
"There's a lot of blood, sweat, and guts between dreams and success" - Coach Bryant
I see what you did there...
Touche indeed.
by Nick's Hat Band on Jan 26, 2009 6:09 PM CST up reply actions
Track 'Em Tigers
"yeah, we are awesome and full of class! We are the premier third tier Auburn blog.
We enjoy long walks in the part, kissing Chizik’s ass, and our admins even encourage rude and lurid behavior of their members on other sites! CLASS BABY!"
Dear TET,
You are classless, your admins are classless and your members are classless. Do us all a favor and shut down your sight. It wastes precious space on the internet, and makes us all dumber through osmosis.
Signed,
Reality
What Would Don Draper Do?
by BamaReturns07 on Jan 27, 2009 10:42 AM CST up reply actions
And when the hell did GumptownTiger...
…become a voice of reason? Isn’t this the SAME Gumptown Tiger that TET’s site manager made a star?
We extend congratulations today to several of our loyal readers who went over to Dawg Sports.com last week and raised a little hell with the Bulldog Nation. They were so successful in their work that the following Track’em Tiger members were banned by the site for telling the truth: Okietigerr, Gumptown Tiger, War Eagle Atlanta and Carlege. As a token of our appreciation, we’ve inducted each of you into the first class of our Track’em Tigers Hall of Fame. You all bring a tear to my eye!
I’ll give him one thing-at least he spews 95% of his BAMA hatred over there instead of coming here, unlike some BAMA posters that go over there. There are actually some posters who CLAIM to be BAMA fans that do not even belong to RBR and ONLY post/flame at TET. That is just sick.
"I hate everything orange"
It's all about Crimson - ROLL TIDE!!!
Most of the guys who are apart of RBR don't flame
There is one douche who i don’t think has ever posted here, that just stirs the pot. They have a very knee jerk reaction when it comes to bama posters.
When you are an Alabama fan you are expected to hate Auburn, I hate Tennessee because I want to.
Carlege...
isn’t that the guy who got your email address from your SBN profile, hacked into it and sent out a bunch of fake emails claiming to be you? He was the biggest idiot ever.
Thirty-Six to Nothing
Yes I am
but like I said last time you guys brought this up, go to the archive at dawg sports and tell me anything i said that was out of line or anything I said that “flamed”
My name being in the same sentence as carlege doesn’t make us the same person.
I will check back soon to see if you follow up
"Jay Jacobs can't go to the bathroom without Bobby Lowder's permission" - Paul Finebaum
by GumptownTiger on Jan 27, 2009 2:37 PM CST up reply actions
Hey BR07
It is the same as violence on TV. If you dont like it change the channel. You won’t be missed.
"Jay Jacobs can't go to the bathroom without Bobby Lowder's permission" - Paul Finebaum
by GumptownTiger on Jan 27, 2009 2:39 PM CST up reply actions
Hey GT
Thanks, that is why I quit going to your slimehole of a blogsite. How about doing us the same favor.
And yeah, you are not quite as creepy as carteleg, but you still have issues. Go away.
What Would Don Draper Do?
by BamaReturns07 on Jan 27, 2009 3:10 PM CST up reply actions
I don't think I've done anything
to warrant not being welcome. Since the blog comments during the Iron Bowl (which were meant to fuel the flames of the game) I have been a complete gentleman. Have I insulted anyone today? or yesterday? I’m just responding to comments. Why so sad buddy?
"Jay Jacobs can't go to the bathroom without Bobby Lowder's permission" - Paul Finebaum
by GumptownTiger on Jan 27, 2009 4:07 PM CST up reply actions
Dude you are a flamer
pure and simple. No sadness here.
What Would Don Draper Do?
by BamaReturns07 on Jan 27, 2009 4:20 PM CST up reply actions
Its
cool though, I think we understand where they’re coming from. They’ve been spoiled. Always beating ‘Bama, rarely having a bad year, knocking off ranked teams with regularity. ’Bama fans were the same way in the 70s, 80s, and half of the 90s. When we went through our (self-inflicted) down period it was a shock. We weren’t used to being laughed at and disregarded. We weren’t used to that lack of respect from media, fans, rival teams etc… And I think I speak for everyone here, it sucks. So I say lets give the Aubs a break for a while and let them get used to the embarrassment of losing and being rediculed on a daily basis by fans of teams they used to beat every year.
Thirty-Six to Nothing
You aren't
"Jay Jacobs can't go to the bathroom without Bobby Lowder's permission" - Paul Finebaum
by GumptownTiger on Jan 27, 2009 5:25 PM CST up reply actions
meant as a question for for BR07
"Jay Jacobs can't go to the bathroom without Bobby Lowder's permission" - Paul Finebaum
by GumptownTiger on Jan 28, 2009 9:11 AM CST up reply actions
nope
I have said my peace once or twice over there in response to ya’lls garbage, but then I realized how pathetic it was to even read that blog so I left.
In fact, you can pull any of my posts and most of the time I was fussing at our guys flaming over there, and then you losers have to be smartasses and it just got old. I further remember a couple of nice posts I posted where you all acted like jackasses. I would just prefer if you would keep to the filth of TET and leave us alone. If I wanted to read your grabage or those of your idiot coposters I would be on TET everyday wading through that crap with mudding boots on.
Take a lesson from JCCW and learn how to be a classy blog site for Auburn fans.
What Would Don Draper Do?
by BamaReturns07 on Jan 28, 2009 9:42 AM CST up reply actions
Oh let me say
that I did start the infamous “This is War” thread over here that got banned, but that was on our turf and thankfully we have Admins that care about the quality of their site and yanked it when it got out of control. Had that been on your site the retards that run it would have celebrated that garbage. Probably would have been front page for days and days.
What Would Don Draper Do?
by BamaReturns07 on Jan 28, 2009 9:43 AM CST up reply actions
You're right
You are the essence of class
"Jay Jacobs can't go to the bathroom without Bobby Lowder's permission" - Paul Finebaum
by GumptownTiger on Jan 28, 2009 9:57 AM CST up reply actions
coming from you
that is a compliment
What Would Don Draper Do?
by BamaReturns07 on Jan 28, 2009 12:48 PM CST up reply actions
Says on Auburn's official site
“Auburn University was established in 1856 as the East Alabama Male College . . .”
My question is, what the hell happened?
They couldn't...
…find enough males in East Alabama.
by NiceLittleSaturday on Jan 28, 2009 2:45 PM CST up reply actions
but they found
a shit load of cows…i mean girls…
When you are an Alabama fan you are expected to hate Auburn, I hate Tennessee because I want to.
Actually, that's a typo...
…it should read “the Beastiality Barn-Smell College”.
by NiceLittleSaturday on Jan 28, 2009 2:47 PM CST up reply actions
And
notice how it technically didn’t become “Auburn University” until 1960. Yet they claim an AP national championship in football in 1957. So technically, Auburn has never won a national championship. It was Alabama Polytechnic Institute (API).
Thirty-Six to Nothing
So...
…John Heisman never really coached at Auburn, either.
by NiceLittleSaturday on Jan 28, 2009 10:03 PM CST up reply actions
LMAO
Is this conversation really taking place or am I dreaming in cyberspace?
"Jay Jacobs can't go to the bathroom without Bobby Lowder's permission" - Paul Finebaum
by GumptownTiger on Jan 29, 2009 10:28 AM CST up reply actions
That.
Just. Happened.
Thirty-Six to Nothing
by Bens4vcobra on Jan 29, 2009 11:46 AM CST up reply actions
JCCW
keeps it civil and he at least acknowledges reality every once in a while when something negative is out there about Auburn but Jerry is still the prototypical Barnie. Spending his days curled up in a ball, arms locked around knees, and repeats “think postive thoughts, think positive thoughts, think positive thoughts” while rocking back and forth.
Thirty-Six to Nothing
by Bens4vcobra on Jan 28, 2009 11:16 AM CST up reply actions
Open letter to all Barners who come on a 'Bama site to post
Dear Barners
36-0
Sincerely,
RBR
Thirty-Six to Nothing
Point taken
To be fair, I see many folks here catcalling UT as often or more, instate rivals though, have to be a bigger topic.
Cheers
Our loathing...
…for UT is so similar to what we feel for the boogs…they’re just slightly different shades of disgust…like their slightly different shades of ugly orange.
by NiceLittleSaturday on Jan 26, 2009 4:27 PM CST up reply actions
Since
alot of the “modern era” hate towards UT came from the Fulmer/NCAA probation thing, what do we hang our hat on now? I gotta say, I don’t hate UT nearly as much as I did during the Fulmer era. But on the bright side, from what I hear this Kiffin kid is a grade A a-hole and is rather high on himself. So hopefully that’ll turn out to be ture and we’ll be looking forward to giving ole Lane a nice welcome to the SEC come October.
Thirty-Six to Nothing
I heard...
…he called UT the “USC of the East”. When you stop laughing, consider this: how would you feel if someone made that comment about Bama? If I were a UT fan, I don’t think I would like it much.
by NiceLittleSaturday on Jan 26, 2009 5:10 PM CST up reply actions
It makes it less of a blind comparison since he coached there...
but I see your point. I want our coach to call us Alabama, we are not the Team X of the East, WE ARE BAMA DAMMIT, RMFT! Somebody get me a helmet, I’m fired up!
"There's a lot of blood, sweat, and guts between dreams and success" - Coach Bryant
My resolution was to lay off the Barners...
I have family and friends who deserved a little pay-back, but it was getting mean! So, I had truly stopped, but then they go and give me something like THIS!!! How the he** can I not make fun of this???
In the spirit of my resolution (trying to make it thru the MONTH) I just printed it out for my dad! =)
Auburn up for Cheap shot award.
Please go here and vote for Auburn’s Lineman as having the “Cheapshot of the Year”, when he dove into the back of Luther Davis’ legs. http://www.thewizofodds.com/the_wiz_of_odds/2009/01/vote-for-the-cheapest-shot-of-the-2008-season.html
Never feel bad for Auburn. They are a dirty team. 36-0 wasn’t enough of a blowout in my mind.
Anyone here who ever feels bad for the Barn...
…needs to give up their BAMA card right NOW!! That being said, I don’t think the Iron Bowl had the cheapest shot of the year. I think that goes to the Houston player. The Boise safety, Johnson, is also a serious thug.
"I hate everything orange"
It's all about Crimson - ROLL TIDE!!!
you just used the words
Johnson….twice in a game…. and ejection in the same sentence……..awesome…
When you are an Alabama fan you are expected to hate Auburn, I hate Tennessee because I want to.
HA HA HA HA HA HA
That is almost as awesome as the jokes about Dick and Nutt last year in Arkansas.
What Would Don Draper Do?
by BamaReturns07 on Jan 27, 2009 3:11 PM CST up reply actions
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