It's Meltdown Time...

I'm afraid to report that it was a bit of a down week for the meltdown column in terms of sheer volume. We didn't quite see as many meltdowns this week as we would like. As a general matter, fans of Notre Dame, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and South Carolina were really just happy that their respective teams played it close, and some things really just didn't materialize on some other fronts.
Nevertheless, we do have three meltdowns this week, and they come from Auburn, Ohio State, and Texas A&M. And what they don't have in size, they make up for in quality (that's we she said). Auburn fans went nuts after losing ugly to Kentucky at home, who brought in a true freshman quarterback, Ohio State fans quickly imploded with an upset to Purdue, and with Texas A&M giving up 60+ points to a 3-3 Kansas State team, it looks like Aggie fans have just lost all hope. Combined, their plight is one great delight to the casual reader.
Now, as always, the language does get bad, and at times it gets VERY bad. If you don't like reading obscenities and the like, this column is not for you, and I strongly urge you to read on right now and skip this piece. You've been warned.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, it is meltdown time:

5-19. Why are you surprised?
I don't think we should get rid of Chizik now. But there is absolutely NO excuse for this loss tonight. Maybe we shouldn't have hired him in the first place.
I'm not surprised at all...as long as Chi-Sick is our head coach, we will be mediocre...he'll be able to recruit well enough to get us to 7 or 8 wins most years...but he'll never win the SEC West, much less the SEC. He's mediocre...and we're seeing that already.
Until we put up the money to go after a big time coach that can put us back on the big stage like the turds did with ***** then we might be in for a couple of tough years with this program
Can we ever be a top-tier team with Jay Jacobs as AD?
We were an average team before JJ and we'll be an average team after JJ. I was blasted last week for saying we were comparable to Ole Miss, but it was and is the truth except Ole Miss is better than us at the moment.
I wouldn't call any program with one MNC in 118 years a powerhouse.
We were outcoached in a big way tonight.
Something is seriously wrong with Todd... I'd have to assume his shoulder is messed up again looking at how his deep balls were way underthrown. If this is the case it's time to sit him and start Caudle.
anybody still worried about losing Malzahn? HILARIOUS!
Wow... I had no idea we were this bad.
Did Malzahn smoke crack before the game? His playcalling suggests he did.
TIRED of the silly crap on offense.
Please graduate and have a nice life #5, #18, #12, #75, #4. Thanks for the memories.
R.I.P. to Auburn's passing game in 2009. You died waay too young.
Looking forward to 2010 with 2 new coordinators.
Chasing Jack with Jose. Not kidding....
we suck we suck we suck we will win 1 more game we suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We’re going to lose to fucking Kentucky
Wow. I'm glad I'm drunk.
What is this trick bullshit Malzahn?
I was f'n third and one and we act like a friggin pansy ass Wac Bitch!!!!

DAMN YOU TRESSEL! what the hell!
Asshole is playing politics now. Admitting defeat and playing to LOSE BY LESS.
Fuck you Jim Tressel
Go Fuck yourself
ENOUGH is ENOUGH
Either we hire a new Offensive Line Coach and an Offensive Coordinator, or we (the fan base) need to make sure Tressel is GONE!!
Time for all to get their heads out of the sand - this game is passing tOSU by
I fucking hope we lose to Michigan. I'm serious. Only way we'll ever get the change we need to steer us out of the shitter.

Coming off an abortion of a game against KSU, and a drubbing in Lubbock next week (yes, Tech is going to maul us), predict the attendance for the ISU game. I'll go with 67,000ish...may be the first time in a decade we don't have 70,000 at a game (not counting the Texas State 2005 game)
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My Favorite
Hire me. I’ll come for half Sherm’s salary and win just as many conference championships.
Followed closely by
We just lost to Purdue. Seriously. Sit there and say that to yourself a few times.
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
I wouldn’t call any program with one MNC in 118 years a powerhouse.
Finally, Auburn fans are getting what Bama fans have been saying for the past 118 years..
Scoring against Alabama will be like birthing a child: rare, painful, and messy. - The Ghost of Jay Cutler
Its
amazing how two consecutive seasons of forced-humility will cause one to finally acknowledge and accept reality.
"A demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots." -H. L. Mencken
I disconcur.
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 20, 2009 11:01 AM CDT up reply actions
5-19. Why are you surprised?
Anybody noticed we get to celebrate another Gene Chizik day Tomorrow? (10-21)
by zeke2029 on Oct 20, 2009 9:43 AM CDT reply actions 3 recs
Whats
sad is he’s nearly doubled his winning pct. in half of a season.
"A demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots." -H. L. Mencken
by Bens4vcobra on Oct 20, 2009 10:40 AM CDT up reply actions
Talk about delusional
Ohio State fans calling for Urban Meyer. Er… how about no, Scotty? Ridiculous. Buckeye fans, look around. Coach Meyer is already in a better spot than anything in the Big Ten ever will be. Delusional.
I must admit that the schadenfreude I get from listening to A&M fans bemoan the state of their program is simply delicious. Still trying to wash the Franchione off, boys? That stuff sticks like dried grits and stinks a lot worse, don’t it? But thanks for taking him from us.
I found the comments
Talking about hiring Urban to be particularly hilarious. Delusional doesn’t even scratch the surface
by Go Hide in the V-berth on Oct 20, 2009 11:22 AM CDT up reply actions
This dude is seriously on to something!
These games are scripted….Or I’m crazy. Motivation you ask? MONEY. You can’t have Arkansas starting 0-3, KY starting 0-4 when you already have a pumped up fan base at Auburn that can afford to absorb losses.
Mike Slive ordered a Code Red!!!
by Alabama ManDance on Oct 20, 2009 10:26 AM CDT reply actions
Hahahahaha. This guy is seriously losing it. He is attempting to validate his own intelligence and life as the result of a football game.
Reminds me of those UFO/government conspiracy theory forums.
"LOSE HIS COOOL?!?!? I DUN LOST MY COOOL!!!!"
UFOs more plausible than "scripting" CFB
Of course, when you’re a barner, your only heroes are Bo Jackson and Captain Insano

"Hollywood made a movie of my life. The film had me proposing to my wife on the football field. I would never misuse a football field that way." -Crazy Legs Hirsch
by Stuck in the Plains on Oct 21, 2009 10:32 AM CDT up reply actions
Auburn cannot survive when Bama is on top
We are the dominate program in the state, regardless of what they tell themselves. The last two years proves it.
I wonder what happened to all the barners talking about SEC West Championships and beating Alabama two weeks ago? I thought they would at least get to 7-0 before getting humiliated, but it didn’t take good teams to beat them, only mediocre ones.
All you Auburn fans who ran your damn mout the past six years are getting what you deserve now. You guys will never be truly relevant again. Sit down, take your place and know your role in this state. That is to be 2nd (or 3rd) best, and get Bama’s sloppy seconds. I hate your school, your stupid arrogance, and your dumb f*cking mascots. I hate the smell of the cow college, your assinine rolling of Toomer’s corner, and the stupidity of your fan base. You couldn’t/wouldn’t realize your success at the beginning of this decade was DIRECTLY attributed to Alabama being down, and you honestly thought – HONESTLY THOUGHT – it wasn’t a coincidence that the best ten years of your program occured at exactly the worst ten years of ours.
Bear Bryant had it right. Ya’ll ain’t nothing but a cow college and will never be anything more than a bunch of douchebag fans thinking you are high and mighty. I love the taste of your tears right now. It tastes of defeat and humiliation. It is embarrassing to run your damn mouths after beating up on so many bad programs and pumping yourself up only to get out played by both Kentucky and Arkansas. Your future is bright, alright. That light at the end of the tunnel is Bama waiting to run over your sorry asses again for the second straight time. You ain’t shit but a speed bump on the road to destiny. You are barely worth our time. You are seeing us for what we really are, a strong, dominate team that is starting to flex, and we are seeing you for the cowardly, pathetic, embarrassment that you were always meant to be. You guys are like the dog behind the fence three houses and two streets over – we forget about your flea-bitten ass until you start whining. Glad all those off-season shenanigans are paying off; if I was your boss I would make ya’lls asses drive mopeds to meet recruits.
You lost to Kentucky. Sit there and say that to yourself a few times. Then decide if you guys are on or off the Chizik bandwagon, cause I swear you all are the most wishy-washy group of skanky, whiny, self-important, overrated and underwhelming fan base I have ever seen in my entire existence. At least LSU fans are consistent with their views; you guys can’t even decide amongst yourselves if you are going to support the coach or fire him. Goddamn. I think I would quit too if I ran my mouth so much and had so little to back it up. I bet ya’ll freakin’ miss drunk Dye huh? Tubberville sucked except he took advantage of our mistakes. You guys need to get together and raise money – but not to fire Chizik but build a goddamn statue of Mike Dubose and sit that bitch in front of Jerdan-Hare “stadium”.
Shit, I’m feel sorry for ya’ll. I really fucking do. I mean, where do you go from here? Yeah, we lost to LaMonroe, but damn we had Shula’s players and Saban, so at least we knew our future was bright – hell, we started 12-0 last year and looking at that shit again. Do you guys really think you can get their? Fuck no. You might get to 12 wins with Chizik by 2011, but not in one year. Ole Miss is gonna whoop ya’ll’s ass, hell they will be getting sloppy seconds from LSU. Have fun with that. How the hell did you guys beat Tennessee? That was some bullshit huh?
I wish to God I liked Auburn. I really do. I would love to be able to pull for both teams. But your fan base – both online and in person – make that shit impossible. You guys have a bad habit of writing checks your ass can’t cash. I can’t wait until the Ballin’ Bama Boom Train rolls into Tubberville Restrooms at Pat Dye Field at Jerdan-Hare Stadium.
It is important to find someone who allows you to fulfill your dreams. It is luck if that person finds you, too - Isaiah Zagar
by BamaReturns07 on Oct 20, 2009 11:24 AM CDT reply actions 7 recs
There was some real heart in this posting
MATRIX: Bennett, I thought you were--
BENNETT: Dead? You thought wrong. Ever since you had me thrown out of the unit, I've been waiting to pay you back. Do you know what today is, Matrix? Payday.
RAMMER JAMMER YELLOW HAMMER
give ’em HELL BR07!!
I LOVE IT!!!
"You have to create 6 seconds of hell each play..."
Coach Nick Saban
by LittleSis on Oct 20, 2009 1:12 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
I don't like you when you're angry

About the two mediocre teams…
I think you’re dead on about Kentucky, but I think Arkansas is better than mediocre. Either way, too sicko losses for AU, glad you finally found something to be happy about this season ; )
"Jay Jacobs can't go to the bathroom without Bobby Lowder's permission" - Paul Finebaum
by GumptownTiger on Oct 20, 2009 1:17 PM CDT up reply actions
I have plenty to be happy about
and I actually agree about Arkansas, but it didn’t flow with my diatribe.
It is important to find someone who allows you to fulfill your dreams. It is luck if that person finds you, too - Isaiah Zagar
by BamaReturns07 on Oct 20, 2009 1:25 PM CDT up reply actions
Agreed on Arkansas...
… after watching them thump Texas A&M, Auburn, and take Florida right down to the last second in Gainesville, that is one impressive team right now. The offense is very good, and the defense is really making strides as of late against some impressive offenses. Coming into their games, all three of their last opponents had prolific offenses that were pretty much shut down by the Hogs.
I’ll be honest, I really have no idea as to why Ole Miss is favored over them this weekend. If Arkansas pulls off the upset there, I could see them finishing up at either 10-3 or 9-2. If nothing else, they’ll probably be favored in every game from here on out.
I’ll give a world of credit to Petrino… he may play some dirty ball, but he’s doing a fine job in Fayetteville. I’m sure as hell glad we don’t have to play them again this year.
"Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself." -- Milton Friedman
by outsidethesidelines on Oct 20, 2009 4:25 PM CDT up reply actions
Imagine. If they get a defense.
Of course, Petrino will be somewhere else by then, and they’ll have to drag Tubs out of Fayetteville in a pine box by that point. (assuming he’s not in College Station).
"Hollywood made a movie of my life. The film had me proposing to my wife on the football field. I would never misuse a football field that way." -Crazy Legs Hirsch
by Stuck in the Plains on Oct 21, 2009 10:28 AM CDT up reply actions
Duuuudddeeee lol
That was EPIC!
Scoring against Alabama will be like birthing a child: rare, painful, and messy. - The Ghost of Jay Cutler
minus the slander towards my Lord and Savior I feel the same way about the Auburn fan base. They slander our program and refer to our hard work as cheating.....and hey not to mention Operation Red Dog, and the Curtis Anderson bit, he's an AU plant.
Your temper brings dishonor to my happy mooshu palace.
Yeah sorry about that.
He’s mine too, just got a little into it. My apologies if it offended.
It is important to find someone who allows you to fulfill your dreams. It is luck if that person finds you, too - Isaiah Zagar
by BamaReturns07 on Oct 20, 2009 3:06 PM CDT up reply actions
Seriously,...
I hate AU as much as the next guy, but penning a 2000-word screed belies your claim that you really don’t care about the boogs. Just leave them alone to suck in their own obscurity; don’t give them this kind of attention.
UT deserves this kind of hate; not lil bro.
Sarcasm
you fail.
I’M A SMARTASS!
It is important to find someone who allows you to fulfill your dreams. It is luck if that person finds you, too - Isaiah Zagar
by BamaReturns07 on Oct 21, 2009 12:23 AM CDT up reply actions
It's not that I don't care
about the barn……I do…..I care enough to cheer when kentucky scores the game winning touchdown to further humiliate them……I care when they hire a 5-19 coach and then all but deify him after 5 games…..I care because of all the things br07 said…….before the streak, I maybe could have agreed with a live and let live philosophy, but no longer…….their arrogance and endless shit talk with nothing to back it up have awoken in me the desire to see them fail at everything they attempt……and to laugh when they do……they deserve nothing less than our utter contempt, disdain, and hatred……they are the shit on the bottom of our shoe, and I can’t wait to give them another thorough ass kicking in November…….
Whatever BR7's having, I'll take two.
"Hollywood made a movie of my life. The film had me proposing to my wife on the football field. I would never misuse a football field that way." -Crazy Legs Hirsch
by Stuck in the Plains on Oct 21, 2009 10:29 AM CDT up reply actions
There's plenty of octane in the tank
I think I will peak around Thanksgiving.
It is important to find someone who allows you to fulfill your dreams. It is luck if that person finds you, too - Isaiah Zagar
by BamaReturns07 on Oct 21, 2009 5:01 PM CDT up reply actions
just stay away from firearms and sharp objects till then, to be on the safe side.
Roll 'Bama Roll: The Champagne of 'Bama Blogs.
The Texas A&M
line about Rocky letting Apollo get killed by the Russian is the best line ever.
The one about Pryor staying four years is great, too.
MATRIX: Bennett, I thought you were--
BENNETT: Dead? You thought wrong. Ever since you had me thrown out of the unit, I've been waiting to pay you back. Do you know what today is, Matrix? Payday.
The only thing in College Football that I enjoy more than watching Bammers and Barners pillow fight...
Is Texas A&M squirm.
God I love this post, it just has it all.
Where can you get this in the Pro’s?
That picture of the OSU coed...
just gave 30,000 Buckeyes the same thought…“I am sooo getting some tonight”
"Hollywood made a movie of my life. The film had me proposing to my wife on the football field. I would never misuse a football field that way." -Crazy Legs Hirsch
by Stuck in the Plains on Oct 21, 2009 10:33 AM CDT reply actions

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