More Ways to Make Auburn Seem Bigger
I did another pinch hit post over at Dr. Saturday, this time poking fun at Auburn recruit Denzel McCoy's assertion that the town of Auburn is "nowhere near being small" and wondering if it had anything to do with Duluth, GA (his hometown) actually being smaller than Auburn or if perhaps Coach Chizik had taken them to Auburn's Montgomery Campus for their visit instead. Naturally I think of even more ways Chizik could have made Auburn seem bigger and more metropolitan than it really is to his visiting recruits after it's posted, so I thought I'd just go ahead and post them here.
1. While touring the town, make sure they notice Auburn has both an Auto Zone AND an Advanced Auto Parts. Only a major metropolis could so readily provide round the clock do it yourself auto repair!
2. Encase the cows with cardboard stage cars to make the traffic more reminiscent of their "metro"-Atlanta home.*
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Like so, but with more mooooo...
3. Get them all worked up over the delisciousness that awaits them at Momma Goldberg's, then drive them to the Birmingham location for lunch. Seriously, a Momma's Love would totally be worth that drive.
4. Show them every litter covered spot along the major roads and tell them "it's tradition!" Because covering public property in waste paper isn't just for Toomer's Corner anymore.
5. Spelling Bees!

Nothing says major urban center like a commitment to knowledge!
* Astute commenters noted that Duluth is, in fact, considered a suburb of Atlanta, but get real people, it's a suburb of Atlanta like Chelsea is a suburb of Birmingham, and the closest those kids get to the "big city" is driving 20 minutes up 280 to eat at The Cheesecake Factory for prom.
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18 comments
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If they had come to AUM
Chizik would have been beaten to death.
We AUMers don’t like him, mainly because over 60% of us are Bama fans.
The other 40% don’t like him because he isn’t Tubbs.
"If the Falcons ever manage to win a Super Bowl in my lifetime, I'll french kiss a toilet." - a friend.
by tlozwarlock on Mar 17, 2009 6:20 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Momma Goldberg's
There is on in Tuscaloosa now I think
by Tide Druid on Mar 17, 2009 6:57 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Duluth
does not have big buildings, but it does have mega traffic jams and an ice rink with hockey teams. In Auburn they can make traffic jams but detouring I-85 through town which just might work. The ice rink thing is going to be harder to come up with as I don’t think Auburn has ice hockey. But I think they do have roller hockey so maybe they could trick the football players by telling them “Yeah at Auburn we have hockey just like at Alabama.”
I hate the NCAA more than UT & AU combined. At least with UT & AU you got a fighting chance.
by 5026 on Mar 17, 2009 7:27 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I live in and work in Duluth
sure there is a “downtown” duluth but it was taken over by metro Atlanta years ago. Now “Duluth” is nothing more an a suburb of Atl.
When you are an Alabama fan you are expected to hate Auburn, I hate Tennessee because I want to.
by bammer on Mar 18, 2009 11:06 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
The "ABUURN" picture will never get old
It’s made even funnier by the fact—-I swear this is true—-that my cousin printed the picture off and framed it, and, when I was at his house for a get-together, he showed it to an Auburn fan friend of his who was there, and the Auburn fan didn’t get it, so we had to explain it to him. No joke.
I hate Auburn.
Go 'Dawgs!
by T Kyle King on Mar 17, 2009 7:35 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
T Kyle
By the way you have been doing some AWESOME articles at Godawgs… keep it up, I’m enjoying it
"The game demonstrated the superiority of the Southern teams over any aggregation that the damn yankees could send across the Mason and Dixon Line." Sports writer Charles Israel of the Philadelphia Bulletin after the Tide's 61-6 win over Syracuse in the 1953 Orange Bowl.
by morri029 on Mar 17, 2009 8:09 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yes you do, Kyle, yes you do...
…and no, that picture will NEVER get old.
by Todd on Mar 17, 2009 8:31 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Great job on yahoo.
I see you got all of 5 comments in 2 days. Nevermind that one of them was spam. Keep up the good work.
by Jumpn_JackFlash on Mar 18, 2009 9:19 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Great job on being an anonymous comment hero.
I see no one asks you to do guest posts on ANY blog, so I’m sure you have plenty of time for it. Keep up the good work.
by Todd on Mar 18, 2009 9:38 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
BOOM Roasted
"The game demonstrated the superiority of the Southern teams over any aggregation that the damn yankees could send across the Mason and Dixon Line." Sports writer Charles Israel of the Philadelphia Bulletin after the Tide's 61-6 win over Syracuse in the 1953 Orange Bowl.
by morri029 on Mar 18, 2009 9:48 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hey Man
your about as cool as AIDS
"The game demonstrated the superiority of the Southern teams over any aggregation that the damn yankees could send across the Mason and Dixon Line." Sports writer Charles Israel of the Philadelphia Bulletin after the Tide's 61-6 win over Syracuse in the 1953 Orange Bowl.
by morri029 on Mar 18, 2009 9:47 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
That ABUURN
Picture is doctored
There are no African-Americans that attend Auburn
"The game demonstrated the superiority of the Southern teams over any aggregation that the damn yankees could send across the Mason and Dixon Line." Sports writer Charles Israel of the Philadelphia Bulletin after the Tide's 61-6 win over Syracuse in the 1953 Orange Bowl.
by morri029 on Mar 18, 2009 9:49 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Hate to ruin the greatness of that picture...
but the picture really is doctored. I currently work with the guy that is the second U in the picture and he has informed me (after I spread this around the office) that it was fake.
He told me he has a copy of the original. If he shows me I will believe him, but until then I will hold strong that this is just a true showing of the education you receive in Auburn, Alabama.
by MountCody'sTacklingDummy on Mar 18, 2009 10:50 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Hold on
You know how I know your gay
You work with a guy from Auburn…….
"The game demonstrated the superiority of the Southern teams over any aggregation that the damn yankees could send across the Mason and Dixon Line." Sports writer Charles Israel of the Philadelphia Bulletin after the Tide's 61-6 win over Syracuse in the 1953 Orange Bowl.
by morri029 on Mar 18, 2009 11:08 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Guy #2 and guy #3..
I’ve always thought that #2 and #3 just accidentally changed places for some reason and just forgot about it and someone got it on film. Besides, whose to say that your co-worker didn’t ‘fix’ the original?
by yellowhammer on Mar 18, 2009 11:08 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

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