at least a 2 game suspension for this…if not more.

on the violence against women thing. But having dated a few crazies hothead chicks, I can also understand that some girls will slap and swing at you over stupid crap and I realize it’s possible that in trying to fend off her blows and restrain her he could have knocked her down. I seriously hope it’s all being blown out of proportion. But the cop’s report that Upshaw grabbed her and forcibly threw her down does not sound good. If he did that, I don’t know what to say for him.

If there was another woman involved, I think Upshaw had a right to get slapped, maybe a couple of times. haha.

But from what the girl’s dad says, it sounds like he was just trying to keep her from hitting him. I mean he’s a football player, if he was wanting to throw her to the ground, I think he would have done it no problem. If he was trying to put her on the ground and wasn’t able to, then I’m not sure I’d want him playing on our defense anyway.

might a stern talking to from Coach Saban suffice this one time? It might sound like a slap on the wrist but if I were a 19 year old guy and CNS got in my face and told me never to touch a woman again, I would die childless.

That’s a fact.

He should play the va tech game. We would be ok without him but he should play. No one is going to press charges. He should be out and it over by the end of the day. The talk radio people will at least have something to talk about but that is it. I doubt he will get suspended by Saban this reminds me of the uh.. McClain deal. No charges no suspension.

I’m with Todd that you never like to hear news like this, but I really fail to see the big deal. She didn’t press charges, the girl’s dad says it’s nothing (and even explicitly said he never hit her), and moreover if you look at the girl’s mugshot, she obviously wasn’t too upset at the whole ordeal either. Hell, it could come closer passing for a senior portrait than a mug shot.

Maybe I’m just a homer, but I see no reason to suspend him for the Virginia Tech game. Again, you never want to hear this type of news, but this really looks like more of a non-story to me than anything else.

It sounds like Mr Grzyb is a huge homer and that he’s throwing his daughter under the bus. But, to me, it sounds like he may actually be the sane one. I’ve sure as hell dated crazies that needed to be restrained, and I’m sure after years of raising his daughter, he probably knows how hot-tempered she can be. And she looks a whole lot better after this altercation than, say, Rihanna. Either way, probably nothing comes of this legally, but rest assured CNS will not just let this slide. I agree that the punishment should be mild, but Saban makes examples out of everybody that screws up, regardless of how small.

Charges dropped and info on arrest no longer listed: http://www.bamasportsreport.com/2009/08/20/upshaw-charges-dropped/

UPDATE: At this hour, there are no longer any charges listed (or arrest info) on the Tuscaloosa County Sheriff’s site. Apparently neither are interested in pressing charges. Sounds like this story should die relatively quickly.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but this is an actual case of domestic violence. Just because it’s not one-sided doesn’t mean it’s okay.

Also, I seem to have missed something: Was the dad actually, you know, there? Why are we putting so much stock in what he’s saying?

Further, I wouldn’t read too terribly much into her not pressing charges. Victims of hard-core DV pretty commonly don’t press charges. Not saying that’s the case here, but not pressing charges doesn’t really mean anything.

a facebook stalker?

PH = Pete HolidayPlaya Hater

Unless they have had a major epiphany, it cannot have been a big deal. The only group they love busting more than football players would be the law students. Thankfully, they weren’t drinking. A lot of these jealous situations are alcohol fueled. And before anyone asks how I know that, I KNOW that had either of them (age 19) had the slightest odor of alcohol, TPD would have gotten them for that, too.

 I think we can absolutely be glib about this particular situation. And I thought the comments upthread about the Dad and The Process were hilarious. This seems to be a really overblown situation.

What benefit (other than Pete’s argumentative training wheels) does the topic still have?

Lighten up. No one thinks domestic violence is a good thing.

I have to go to football practice now. Later, y’all.

People seem to think I’m being a prude or just playing devil’s advocate. Here’s the problem I have with some of the comments in this thread, complete with personal background:

For my three years in law school I worked with an organization that helped victims of domestic violence get protective orders. Sometimes the folks that would come in would be making shit up to try to get custody of their children in a divorce. Other times, you’d come out of the lawyer’s office with the victim and see the abuser sitting in his car in the parking lot.

Some of the stories were brutal and highly disturbing. The one that sticks with me includes a man taking a plastic knife and “stirring” it in his wife’s throat. There’s some really nauseating shit that goes on.

The stories these women would tell were almost always the same — and they almost always wound up going back, canceling the protective order and dropping all charges. For the abuser, the path that led from normal human-being to breaking a woman’s jaw with a lamp because she burned dinner almost always walked straight through a relationship or two with a similarly violent woman (a.k.a. “the crazy bitch”) that taught him (or reinforced, if he came from a violent home) that there were acceptable reasons to hit a woman. Those stories also typically involved a pretty long line of people making excuses for him, giving him the benefit of the doubt long after such a benefit should have run out, and generally ignoring a lot of facts because they didn’t want to believe he was abusive. These people ranged from friends and family members to the victim herself.

In a lot of ways, stories like these are like those warning signs that your child might turn into a serial killer. One of the questions is “Is he male?” Clearly not ever man turns into a serial killer.

Clearly, not everyone who has had an explosive argument or has been in a violent relationship turns into an abuser.

Still, this isn’t a funny situation. There’s nothing good about it.

There are a lot of comments above that are probably sarcastic or ironic. One of the dangers of joking about a situation like this is that this is the internet. Not everyone who comes across those comments is a) going to know the participants well enough to know that they’re joking or b) going to pick up on the sarcasm/irony.

It wouldn’t take a whole lot to take a few of these quotes out of context and make us all look like a bunch of stereotypical southern, drunken, wife-beating idiots who care more about seeing our football team win than making sure our players don’t beat their girlfriends.

Another problem with the joking is that while this situation might be innocent enough, it might not be, or it might be relatively innocuous right now, but the beginning of something really awful. Either way, this is a serious situation. You don’t tend to get arrested for domestic violence for no reason.

There was at least one person who saw what was going on and felt like the situation was dangerous enough not to let it escalate any further.

That doesn’t make Upshaw guilty of anything or a bad person. I’m not saying that he is either of those. I trust that Saban will handle the situation as well as it can be handled, and I hope that one of the end-results is Courtney realizing, in no uncertain terms, that, at least on that evening, he was heading down a really, really dangerous road.

Sure, jokes about hypothetical abuse can be funny. I enjoyed Chris Rock’s O.J. Simpson bit as much as anyone else, but when you’re talking about a real person and an on-going situation, it’s probably better to play it straight. Innocent until proven guilty and all that, but real, habitual abusers (and I am not saying or suggesting that Upshaw is one) are manipulators first and abusers second, so keeping a healthy level of skepticism in situations like these is probably a good idea.

So, yeah, “har har, Pete’s a pretentious asshole,” nonsense aside: I just don’t think the jokes were a particularly good idea.

It wouldn’t take a whole lot to take a few of these quotes out of context and make us all look like a bunch of stereotypical southern, drunken, wife-beating idiots who care more about seeing our football team win than making sure our players don’t beat their girlfriends.

I think this idea (stereotypical southern wife-beater who cares only about football), ostensibly conveyed by Dave Grzyb in his quotes about the matter, was what people found funny. The idea that Dave Grzyb’s comments made it seem exactly like he cares more about the Alabama football team than whether one of their players beat his daughter, is what we were amused by because it is so wrong and ridiculous.

It’s like that drunken naked guy wandering around the infield at Talladega or the guy who shoots his son and wife because Alabama loses to Auburn. We don’t laugh at them because we condone their behavior. We laugh because it’s ridiculous and we’re criticizing the behavior.

You’re right, DV is not funny and it shouldn’t be made light of. Also, the comments in this thread, sans your comments, are ironic and sarcastic.

Oh, and BTW, I called you a “playa hater” for being the party pooper on the jokes, not because I disagreed with your stance on Upshaw. For a second there you came across as that guy in high school who can’t ever cut loose, the guy who, when you and your other friends are breaking into your dad’s liquor cabinet, says, “Guys, we shouldn’t do this because we’ll get in trouble.”

when Mark Sanchez was suspended for supposedly sexually assaulting a girl at SC. Those charges mysteriously disappeared and he rejoined the team. I also remember a man named John Wayne Bobbit. He played a mean game at linebacker.

Courtney Upshaw realizes how much time and thought we’ve dedicated to this situation. I would like to watch his face as he read through 200+ comments, most of which are Pete’s venting from being overworked, my immature sense of humor, and a slew of members arguing with Pete.

What Would Courtney Think?

We could use a voice of reason. Hell, we could use the “Voice of Reason”. Anyone to bring some sense to this nonsense.

…I lost my place. Now I’ve got to go all the way back to the top and start over.