You Want Blood, You Got it

"Everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the face."
--Mike Tyson

I think it's telling that Roll Bama Roll hasn't been interested in analyzing the championship game.  What's to analyze?  Our plan is to beat on anyone in burnt orange until their mama starts crying.  Do I think Texas can win?  Sure.  They're a good team.  But, we make asses quit.  That's what we do.  Why fancy it up?  But, I have to admit that Burnt Orange Nation's analysis of how Texas will beat Bama had me laughing.  I could do a close reading, but let me just address the highlights.

"I love that all the pressure is on Alabama to show that they are what they're supposed to be."

False. I lived in Austin for the last 9.5 years.  There wasn't a nanosecond that every Austinite/Texan wasn't obsessing over the Horns, breaking down games, and usually focusing on how their team is getting snubbed, overlooked, disrespected, etc. You're the flagship university in a football-obsessed state.  If you don't think there's pressure on you from the first time you lace 'em up, you're an idiot or lying to yourself.  This isn't debatable.

Also, for Bean to suggest that "this (underdoggedness) is when we're at our best" is a bold-faced lie.  Really?  When was the last time Texas was an underdog?  The USC game?  Please.  Texas has won 110 games this decade and was the favorite in probably 95% of them.  You are EMPIRICALLY better as favorites.  Shut up with this "we got Bama right where you want 'em" talk.  Sheesh.  You can't be arrogant pricks and abject underdogs.  Pick one and stick with it.

"Our defense is comically underrated."

Right.  That's what everyone's saying.  God, those Horns are fucking pussies.  Sergio Kindle is Don Knotts-esque, Lamarr Houston is a brain dead oaf, Earl Thomas is a terrible cornerback, and the rest of those douchebags may as well be second-stringers on Lake Travis.  Sure thing, bud.  Keep telling yourself a Will Muschamp team isn't being taken seriously.

"Nick Saban is a stubborn freak."

If you really believe that ... I mean, REALLY believe that ... then you are comically underrating Nick Saban.

"Jordan Shipley works zones like Tiger Woods does C-list celebrities."

Except in the Oklahoma and Nebraska games where he was bracketed and disappeared.  Oh, I guess I'm not supposed to mention those games.  Everytime I do, Texas fans reflexively mention Tennessee and Auburn.  And funny thing about that Auburn game.  You know how every UT fan mentions Ingram getting shut down by Auburn and that's what UT is gonna do.  Ol' Stubborn Nick adjusted by giving the ball to Trent Richardson and Auburn also stopped him cold.  And by stopped him cold I mean got their ass gouged for 9 yards a pop.  I know, I know, your comically underrated defense will shut him down, too.  Uh huh.

Here's my fancy analysis:  You want blood, you got it.  Hulk smash.

Roll F'in Tide, LD

FanPosts are just that; posts created by the fans. They are in no way indicative of the opinions of SBN and the authors of Roll Bama Roll.

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