I figured this sort of parody was fairly inevitable, so I wrotes it myself.

I do not like Cow College, damn.

I do not like it, Cam I am.

Would you play for a new laptop?

We could go shop for one laptop.

Stop!  Stop!  A new laptop?!

This ain’t exactly Flor’da, pop.

Stuck in f*cking damn Lee county,

Gots to get a bigger bounty.

I do not like Cow College, damn.

I do not like it, Cam I am. 

How about a Buick Regal?

Go War Eagle for a Regal?

I would not drive a Buick Regal,

That sh*t would look so damn illegal.

Where to drive it anyway?

Past some f*cking cows and hay?

This ain’t exactly Alabam,

I do not like it, Cam I am.

Cash!  Cash!  How ‘bout some Cash?

Would you play for a stash of cash?

I would not play there for some cash.

I would not play there for some hash.

Unless my Dad just makes my ass,

I won't go there to run or pass.

I do not like Cow College, Damn.

I do not like it, Cam I am.

How about Miss’ippi State?

Would that be great?  Miss’ippi State?

Yes, yes, I’ll take it, yes,

Straight to State for thousands less.

Come on, dammit, Daddy, darn,

Please don’t send me to the barn.

Gene fricking Chizik? Please!

Throw toilet paper into trees?!

I do not like Cow College, Damn.

I do not like it, Cam I am.

But son, I couldn’t get the dough

From any other college, so

I’m afraid you’ve got to take it,

Flash that smile and learn to fake it.

Only for a year, son, Hell,

Then you’re in the NFL.

Sh*t, sh*t, I hate this sh*t.

Just one year and then I quit.

I’ll go down there and play a little

For the school that’s second fiddle.

I’m so pretty I’ll shine through

That f*cked up looking orange and blue.

I still don’t like Cow College, damn.

I do not like it, Cam I am.

Just sign this letter of intention

Please son, never, ever mention

Anything about this deal

Your love for Auburn must look real.

The fans have got to think you play

For the school, not just for pay,

And if you’re busted in these actions,

Auburn’s busted for infractions.

It could really hurt their school

And you’d look like a selfish tool.

I really could not give a damn,

I got my money, Cam I am.