After seeing the shitfest of a game that was Auburn vs. UGA on my computer last night I get a text from my boy Perkins (Bama boy from Mobile BTW) to come down to the bar. I'm already pretty tipsy and decide that Yes, I do need more vodka bulls in me. I whistled for a cab (c) Fresh Prince and meet up with him. The first thing I do when I get to the bar is head to the latrine. As I walk in this nasty, wet closet-sized bathroom I immediately feel someone walking way too close behind me.
That is about how close the urinals are in this disgusting place. I step up to pee and the guy with no sense of personal space goes to pee next and STARTS TALKING TO ME. WTF? DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME, MAYNE. I'm doing my business and staring at the wall in front of me, YOU DO THE SAME. But that's not all. The first words out of his mouth are "WAR EAGLE! WHOOO!"
At this moment I start to get nauseous. Not from the alcohol but from his douche-y face which I had to look over and see since all barriers were now broken and we were apparently best friends. I felt like doing the Bulldawgs a favor and taking out his knee for the shit that Fairely pulled not 20 minutes prior. So, when I'm done I walk back into the bar area (I wash my hands BEFORE I touch my dick! (c) SSG Welcome) and the Boog follows me again. I must engage in conversation with him so I tell him that he shouldn't be around me because "I'm from Alabama also but I roll with the muthafuckin Tide." He proceeds to drop this knowledge on me:
Him - "That's cool man. I just want a team from Alabama to win the National Championship again. I actually told one of my SGTs 'Roll Tide' earlier today because he was a Mississippi State fan."
Me - "Wait, you're an Auburn fan and you actually said that?"
Him - "Yea man."
I promptly finish my drink and leave. This dude has issues. If you're gonna hate, HATE HARD. You can't ride the fence on shit like this. Anywho, that was a pointless story but I had to tell it to the RBR heads. It didn't piss me off or anything but just reaffirmed my believe in the idiocy of that school and its fans.
And after that encounter:
3am doner FTW!