FanPost

Offseason Navel-Gazing: I'm off the market.

Ladies (and the 10% of you who bat for the visiting team, NTTAWT), I have some exceptionally sad news for you all: As of 8:00 a.m. tomorrow local, e.g., when the courthouse opens, your cross-dressing, foul-mouthed, intrepid lover of dick jokes, dark humor, socialist politics, power running games and massive Polynesian defensive tackles will no longer be on the market, so to speak.

After four years of patience, four bar exams, overlapping law school experiences, two gall bladder removals, cringe-inducing expenses to move to Hawaii, and five blizzards, the long-suffering Girlie and I took matters into our own hands: We eloped yesterday during my lunch break, after my pulling an all-nighter for emergency work stuff. The wedding officiant signed off, the application was filled off, now (after yet another all-nighter), we just need to get the damn thing filed with the Court. And must do so by tomorrow.

Congratulations, some may say, but why the rush? Well, since Erin is also an attorney, and as we have conjoined debts from the relocation, and I have superior benefits, we decided to do it for the very good reason of tax benefits.* Hell, when you're my age, romance takes a distant second to married-filing-joint so as not to lose her portion of the moving expenses. And, she has to have a root canal, pretty quickly.

Romantic? No. But, if you love someone, and you're already planning the wedding, then why not set them free (from out of pocket expenses)? So, Queen, 'Mama, Vicky, Peyton, Sis, Bammer**...I fear that you will have to stop queuing up in the bushes, as I am now legally obligated to curb my inclinations and tend towards monogamy. At the very least, I will hopefully have a "happily ever after" :)

BTW: Each and every one of you are invited to the ceremony. The official "wedding" (e.g., our families, who do not and will never know about this) is scheduled during AEA week, on Sat. March 12, 2010. Seriously, all are welcome to come. Free food and booze; no gifts requested or accepted...just hang out on the beach, drink, hike, ogle hot chicks, surf, golf, etc.

Happy New Year's to you all and Roll Tide.

-E

 

 

* This is all tongue in cheek; however, the refund/credit difference between now and a month from now is about $9000. We can ALL use $9K.

** (totally wondering if he will catch this!)

FanPosts are just that; posts created by the fans. They are in no way indicative of the opinions of SBN and the authors of Roll Bama Roll.

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