Your Friday Hoodoo Thread | Week Seven

BUT the video for Far Away made me cry the first time I saw it too. I was all like “Wow, Nickelback is awesome” (it was the first song I had ever heard of theirs, and the first time I ever saw the video….)

Wait, maybe this is my admission for hoodoo… blushing That was a pretty serious admission. And I kinda like them on occasion, if you can get past the fact that they sound like they’re constipated. :)

I took one from my office.

Seriously, it’s Ole Miss.

 I thought to myself, " I don’t remember Buick Human, but he must have been pretty good".

The video made you cry? Michael Landon laughs at this.
Embarassing admission: I blew up my High School’s John Deere riding lawnmower while working a summer job when I was 15. I was trying to put more gas in it without a funnel and the engine was hot and, turns out, that’s not such a good idea.
The funny thing is I didn’t get fired. And I went on to be the manager of the football team for 2 years. Our Head coach was John Moore, who played at Alabama under Bryant in the early 60’s.
Fun days.

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Menny thanks to LittleSis for covering Tim Riggins duty during Bamapocalypse. That picture was DELICIOUS.

the shirt comes off

Creating an anti voodoo (Trent Richardson) action figure to guard against any bad mojo for future Bama games.

I went on a road trip to the Ole Miss game in Oxford. I guess I was just excited to be in another college town because I went from sober → drunj at light speed. The night ended for me at about 11:15 when I threw up on the ottoman of the guy whose house we were staying in. He was only a friend of a friend back then so it was a little more akward than if he was my friend from back home. The only thing I regret looking back is that the room was full of people and the smell of vomit, well, smells like vomit. The owner of the ottoman turned out to be kind of a douche so no big deal. Plus he went to Ole Miss.

another Friday of sending my daughter off to school wearing purple and geauxld. (EAUX M G ITS SEAUX FUN LIVING IN BATON ROUGE AND SPELLING EVERYTHING I CAN WITH EAUX, HONEY BADGER HONEY BADGER HONEY BADGER, LSU FANS ARE NOT HEAUX MEAUX SEXUALS)

Really that’s my only hoodoo for this week. I figured I might need more when she up and decided to wear her Bama cheerleading outfit as “pajamas” on Wed night. But this is Ole Miss.

… seriously, it’s Ole Miss week, 2011. And I understand this is not homecoming, this year’s Alabama team is really quite good, while Ole Miss really is not (plus they have 4 suspended). But:

10/8/88:
“Alabama suffered close losses to LSU and Auburn in November but possibly the low point of the season was a 22–12 loss on Homecoming to Mississippi, Alabama’s first ever loss to Mississippi in the state of Alabama. The Tide had zero yards passing in the game.”

I seem to recall we scored a safety in that game, and for years afterward I had a superstitious fear about us scoring a safety in BDS yet finding a way to lose the game (see AR during… Houston Nutt’s tenure).

Later that evening, LSU beat AU 7-6 in the famous earthquake game, which was some small consolation.

…that I have been known, on occasion, to have my cake and eat it, too. There, I said it.

I was str8 groovin at a party back when I went to Marquette. I’ve never been into hispanic ladies because one out of the two I’ve been with had peach-fuzz-happy-trail heading down her chest going to the nether regions… much like how straight that interstate is that cuts west-by-southwest through Oklahoma. Sorry, I still have flashbacks of that woman and that freeway in OK makes me want to eat a grenade.

SO! There I was shaking my ass and having a jolly good time of it. However, this well-built Mexican lass who supposedly was a fitness fanatic was taking a shine to me. This woman probably could have bench pressed me, so my assumption was that she was a guy in drag. I began my navigable dance through the pulsing crowd and after traversing 15-20 feet (smarmy and thinking I lost her) I realized that she shouldered her way through crowd to keep pace with me.

Before I could yell, “Holy shit’n shove me in it,” she had pushed me through a door and was attempting to disrobe me and was being none too gentle. Drink? Spilled. Music? Loud enough to cover my verbal protestations. She? Stronger than I ever imagined. Before she could tear my shirt any further, a friend and my girlfriend at the time burst in and told her “Enough already!” My main squeeze paid that Mexican future-bearded-lady to fucking do that to ME! I appreciate a gag as much as the next guy, but I was emotionally scarred by those big hands FOR YEARS.

I have been conversing for about a year with a person, say maybe once a week, on facebook,and she is not at all the person I thought she was. In fact, I have never met her in my life. She just happens to have a name similar to a friend from high school. Just a few different consonants. Now, when we discourse, I wonder who the heck she thinks I am….

When I went to Alabama, they required you to keep money on your Dining Dollars account, or Bama Cash, or whatever they called it. Domino’s delivery accepted this as payment, so of course we ordered pizza and wings all the time.

So, I was ordering chicken wings from Domino’s for delivery. The guy on the other end of the phone asks “hot, medium, or mild?” I say “hot as you got.” He asks “oh really?”

Now I never found out who this guy was, but when I got my wings, they still had actual chunks of hot peppers on the wings. These processed chicken wings from Domino’s scoured my taste buds like steel wool soaked in Draino, and on the other end they singed my nether region like the ice-blue flame of an acetylene torch.

Next time I called, the same guy took my order. I could tell from the tone of his voice that he remembered me, and he was kind of chuckling a little bit. After I ordered my wings, he asked me “hot, medium, or mild?” I answere “medium, sir.” his reply: "that’s what I thought.