Your Friday Hoodoo Thread | Boomer Sooner Edition
by Todd on Dec 2, 2011 9:30 AM CST
in Humor
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PrintFolks, we're not out of the woods yet. It may seem like the Football Gods have lined up everything in our favor, but they work in mysterious ways, are notoriously cruel, and we're actively jinxing ourselves today (thanks kleph). So to give thanks for an Iron Bowl victory, we have more Nickelback:
And to ask for their favor this weekend while we sit idle, we offer our embarrassing admissions in the comments below. Also, Laura Vandervoort...
But what really knocked me out were her cheap sunglasses...
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My admission is weak, since Ive sacraficed my others, this might be rough....
I used to LOVE nickleback back in the day till photograph came out.
I bought the album with photograph on it, then my big brother slapped some sh*t into me. Now I cant bare them
If i were Arnold Rothstein id pay Ryan Braun all the money he
wants to stop going on homer streaks against the poor Astros....
am i the only one?
by ccislanders on Dec 2, 2011 9:38 AM CST via mobile reply actions
It's okay.
I don’t think anyone is clamoring to see them naked anyway.
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." - George Carlin
by Slice of Life on Dec 2, 2011 9:44 AM CST up reply actions
My simple confession today:
As long as LSU wins tomorrow, I don’t really care what happens in Oklahoma.
The first 15 or so minutes of "UP"
makes me cry every time.
by rivaled on Dec 2, 2011 10:15 AM CST reply actions 1 recs
Same here. Just hearing the music makes me cry.
"No man, I majored in Journalism, it was easier." -- Joe Namath responding to a journalist who asked him if he majored in Basket Weaving at Alabama.
by BamaBlonde42 on Dec 2, 2011 11:44 AM CST up reply actions
I cried watching the Walking Dead last week.
But I’m guessing that anyone else that’s been watching it might’ve felt the same.
…anyone?
God bless our Dark Lord.
Didn't cry,
But was definitely like WTF? Now we have to wait til February to see what happens next.
Shake it, Bake it, and he makes it! Touchdown!
by rolltidefromaz on Dec 2, 2011 3:13 PM CST up reply actions
yep
the first 15 min. of Holy Grail and UP both make me cry…for different reasons though.
my wife makes me watch Grey's Anatomy
and sometimes i like it.
Another
I watched kims “magical” wedding.
beat it
If i were Arnold Rothstein id pay Ryan Braun all the money he
wants to stop going on homer streaks against the poor Astros....
am i the only one?
by ccislanders on Dec 2, 2011 10:38 AM CST via mobile reply actions
The last time I cheered for *uburn and Oklahoma
was in 2004.
I didn’t exactly cheer for Auburn, but I did go to a game there and wore orange.
It was for a girl. She was gorgeous. Perfect complexion, blond hair, blue eyes. Rich as shit. And from Oklahoma and a huge Sooner. She drove a Rover. I drove a beat up Chevy truck. She had satellite radio. I had a portable cd player hooked up to my tape deck in my truck. Her family had a private jet. I had flown once to Montana for a ski trip.
I’d met her at some Beta party at Auburn, even though I went to Bama. The first girl I ever fell in love with. She broke my heart and it took a couple of years to get over honestly.
I have hated Oklahoma ever since. Tomorrow I will not hate Oklahoma. And may not ever again.
Jessica, I forgive you for being a bitch and never calling me back after months together. I forgive you for not putting out after the 17th Floor Concert we went to at Zydeco. I forgive you for being crazy and on all kinds of meds. Lastly, I forgive you for being so f’ing weird you had to go to * uburn instead of Oklahoma.
Boomer Sooner!
Rich girls are amazingly fun to fall in love with!
It’s the wearing orange part that gets me.
Dang son, you got straight-up S-P-R-U-N-G on that beauty, no!!!!!?
I got a Sooner neighbor right now as we speak. Good cat, he is. His family’s a hoot and them Sooners have a gang of tight-knit friends near and far.
by BixBeiderbecke on Dec 2, 2011 11:11 AM CST up reply actions
I have a Stanford neighbor, right across the street 2 houses down, a barn foe.
Pretty fun to talk sh*t to him though.
If i were Arnold Rothstein id pay Ryan Braun all the money he
wants to stop going on homer streaks against the poor Astros....
am i the only one?
by ccislanders on Dec 2, 2011 11:42 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
Ah crap!
I grew up going to Stanford games as a kid. (hated ‘em! my sister played/attended graduated from Stanford- scholarship field hockey player). My sisters’s great, it’s her friends and relations from Stanford that can’t seem to shut the heck up these days.
Worse, I have 2 other sisters who went to Cal (one graduated the other. . . . .did not!)
I can’t wait to see Stanford get stomped in whatever bowl game the go to. I like Stanfords women’s volleyball team though!
Talk tons of talk to that Stanford neighbor of yours. Topics like “football” and “powerhouse” will definitely not compute for that geek- lemme tell you.
by BixBeiderbecke on Dec 2, 2011 12:21 PM CST up reply actions
Ohhhh yea, you have no idea how I roll.
And btw, your sisters are lucky to have the brains.
If i were Arnold Rothstein id pay Ryan Braun all the money he
wants to stop going on homer streaks against the poor Astros....
am i the only one?
by ccislanders on Dec 3, 2011 1:09 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
I lived in Auburn and liked it. (the rest of this admission is rated PG-13)
Also, while living there, in the early 90’s when phone sex was still kind of a new rage, I got trashed on cheep beer, broke into my neighbor’s apartment when he was gone for break, and used his phone to call about a dozen different services. And if the police had needed some DNA … plenty on the carpet.
To cleverly disguise myself so I wouldn’t get caught, I made all the ladies call me Big Willie.
I swear I’m not that gross anymore. Mostly.
you're a horrible person!
"Those are just facts and facts are just opinions and opinions can be wrong"
-Veronica, Better Off Ted
In the earliest cell phone days -- when they had the little car antennae --
— some of us discovered you could just take your basic cordless home phone, pull up in your driveway, make a call, drive away. Drive-through dialing. It also worked to cruise through a large apartment complex, hit Dial and see if you got someone else’s dial tone, then make calls on their bill.
It was entertaining. But we bow down to your DNA sacrifice, sir, since we never took it to your level…
WTF?
And if the police had needed some DNA … plenty on the carpet.
'There are two pains in life. There is the pain of discipline and the pain of disappointment. If you can handle the pain of discipline, then you'll never have to deal with the pain of disappointment,'- Nick Saban
Nut Job!
"My favorite play is the one where the player pitches the ball back to the official after scoring a touchdown." Paul "Bear" Bryant
As in dropping his load and the police tracking the sex phone bill back to him. I didn’t know if your reply was outrage or needing explaination. To J.
Hmm, was hoping it wouldn't get too graphic, but I reckon I invited it.
Some of you are pretty weak. I went into my darkest closet. It’s for the championship, to bookend the Boogs bought-and-paid-for-who-the-f**k’s-Oregon-anyway “championship” with two legit rings over powerhouse opponents.
Ante up. Did you see what the gods did to the entire top 5 mere weeks ago? I don’t think some of you take them seriously.
My first job when I was in high school was at McDonalds.
A couple of times I served food off of the floor. Usually the crispy chicken because they had us grabbing it right out of the basket after taking it out of the fryer with our hands. That shit was so hot, and I would sometimes drop it. And it would take another 5+ minutes to cook another.
We would also have to take these NASTY ass buckets of grease from the burgers and whatnot and dump it in this large grease bin in the back. One time, I tried to dump it, and the lip of the bucket wasn’t all the way in the bin, and a shitload of nasty grease went all over my shirt and pants.
And twice (once at McDonalds, once at this job I had mowing lawns for the hostpital) I had to go home from work because I ripped the seat of my pants when bending over.
"Those are just facts and facts are just opinions and opinions can be wrong"
-Veronica, Better Off Ted
My 5 year old son
thinks he has to get a toy everytime we go anywhere that has toys. He’s my only child and was born when I was 36 years old. I’ve spoiled him rotten. But anyway, my sister bought him an African Safari type toy set a few Christmases ago. Included with that is a baby elephant about maybe 1″×2″. After he got his one day use out of playing with the set, the rest of it got thrown out, lost, or scattered in various places of his toy closet over the course of the next few months. I kept hold of the baby elephant and tossed it in with some of my collectables.
I got the notion for some reason to get it out and placed it on top of my t.v. table and kept it there as a lucky charm for the ’09 season. We moved last year and I lost the little elephant during the move. This explains the ’10 season.
I’m not sure of the time line, but on one of our trips to Toys R Us, I wanted to appease him, but was also looking to go cheap. They had a basket of authentic looking African animals made from rubber and one of them was an elephant. It’s about 100 times larger than the little elephant, but I said, “Hey, how about this one?!” I bought it. After serving it’s time as a bathtub toy for a few days, it retired as an ornament on my desk at home.
During the meantime, I had found the little elephant in the back of may truck. I put it inside the t.v. stand in his room earlier this year, just waving it off as silly superstition. Prior to the LSU game, I went into meltdown mode trying to conjur up all the mojo I could and could not find the little elephant. So I grabbed the big elephant off my desk and set it on the same t.v. table I had watched all of ’09’s games on. Well, we all know the results of this.
I located the little elephant shortly after the LSU game. And I’m sure to everyone’s relief, he has been standing in his rightful place ever since.
If we manage to make it to the NC game...
You better staple that damn thing to the TV and post an armed guard until after the game.
Attempting to remove humor from posts since August 30, 2011
My first post... might as well make it here
In the mid 1990’s while in college I had a pretty serious bout with the flu. After a few days of misery I felt good enough to drive up to Blockbuster and rent a video game. I surveyed the store, and notice a few titles on a bottom shelf that seemed interesting.
I crouched down and suddenly felt a large fart que up at the back door. Me, being a master of the SBD, tried to eloquently let loose a one cheek sneak since the nearest person was a couple of ailses over. Everything started great, but, after a couple of seconds there was an audible “SQUISH” (much to my horror). Yes… I had just joined the shart fraternity.
I stood up, and quickly did the march of shame back to my car. Although the offending bodily function did not soil the cotton of my underwear, it was enough to make me hover well off of the seat on the drive home.
I since have reqained my SBD certification, but, the shame lingers on.
Dude, careful.
Don’t you know what happened the last time we had a sharting Hoodoo thread?!!
God bless our Dark Lord.
Yes you are right...
Let’s not go down that road. I’d hate to cause a stink (bad pun, but couldn’t resist)
OK, can we all agree now
NO MORE SHARTING IN THE HOODOO THREADS!!! Comon people!
God bless our Dark Lord.
Just heard on WJOX...
That when the Coaches Poll comes out around noon, if we are still 100 points ahead ok Okie Lite, it is essentially finished, and we’re NC bound. (we’re 174 ahead now, I think he said)
So my weekend just got considerably better…
That being said… I have seen my smoking hot mother-in-law nekkid like 12 or 13 times. I think she does it on purpose. But I never turn my head, and hope to again.
That should be enough…
"My favorite play is the one where the player pitches the ball back to the official after scoring a touchdown." Paul "Bear" Bryant
by Saban on Dec 2, 2011 11:45 AM CST reply actions 1 recs
Pics or it never happened.
"All I wanna do is drive around in my truck and drink Jack Daniels... and they just don't understand."- Kenny Stabler
post your cell #
send you a couple.
lol
"My favorite play is the one where the player pitches the ball back to the official after scoring a touchdown." Paul "Bear" Bryant
What is embarrassing about that?
It would be embarrassing if your mother in law looked like Rosanne Barr and you never looked away. I like having a hot mother in law – or does that make me totally weird?
Just getting a preview of what you have to look forward to.
Nothing wrong with that!
God bless our Dark Lord.
This one's not too bad but here you go...
I cried through just about the entire finale of “Lost.” By the time it got to the end, my crying turned to hysterical sobs. In my defense, my husband had just left to go back to Iraq from his 2 week R&R that morning so I guess my emotions were all over the place.
But I couldn’t even bring myself to watch the episode again for several weeks. When I did, the same thing happened.
I still miss that damn show…
"No man, I majored in Journalism, it was easier." -- Joe Namath responding to a journalist who asked him if he majored in Basket Weaving at Alabama.
Ladies and Gentlemen, your RBR Sweetheart Alternative:
RBR's King of Hip-Hop...
by SpockJenkins on Dec 2, 2011 11:56 AM CST reply actions 1 recs
WATERMELON?
Spaw-awk!?
(oh, dear Lord! please bless our King of Hip Hop! he. the. m-fing. MAN!)
by BixBeiderbecke on Dec 2, 2011 12:24 PM CST up reply actions
I want to die in her sweaty breasts.
That is all.
Inanity @gothlaw
"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is." -Sir Francis Bacon
by Stuck in the Plains on Dec 2, 2011 2:20 PM CST up reply actions
Ripe... melons.
Can’t think str8, that’s the best I had.
Paul W. Bryant,
Sir Alex Ferguson,
Truly the best of both footballing worlds.
The delicious TIm Riggins has us covered.
by Queen of the Universe on Dec 2, 2011 12:26 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
He ain't got no junk...
Inanity @gothlaw
"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is." -Sir Francis Bacon
by Stuck in the Plains on Dec 2, 2011 2:21 PM CST up reply actions
Wha? That guy's gd bonafide!
WAIT! NO! I meant that the bathroom looks… refurbished! The tiles got regrouted, mf’er! I was impressed by the tiles!
Paul W. Bryant,
Sir Alex Ferguson,
Truly the best of both footballing worlds.
He's just beautiful.
I so would.
"No man, I majored in Journalism, it was easier." -- Joe Namath responding to a journalist who asked him if he majored in Basket Weaving at Alabama.
I love Celine Dion. A lot.
This video and this video make me cry every single time I watch them.
by Queen of the Universe on Dec 2, 2011 12:55 PM CST reply actions
Such a girl.
'There are two pains in life. There is the pain of discipline and the pain of disappointment. If you can handle the pain of discipline, then you'll never have to deal with the pain of disappointment,'- Nick Saban
I've been listening to a lot of Natalie Merchant lately.
such a great voice.
"Those are just facts and facts are just opinions and opinions can be wrong"
-Veronica, Better Off Ted
We'll lead you to the
shallow water. Or is that somebody else. There’s 2-3 of those girls I get mixed up.
She really does
Nothing to be embarrassed about there. Unless you’re trying to rock the manly man thing.
I have a celebrity crush on
Jimmy Kimmel.
"Auburn people are stinky"- my 3 yr.old daughter
by You can call me Al on Dec 2, 2011 1:38 PM CST reply actions
My wife makes me watch old Christmas movies with her.
And I enjoy it.
I didn't
like or watch football until Fall of 2009. I started out saying I was a UGA fan because my brother went there and I live about an hour away but I never really got into football until I watched Alabama play. The turning point of my fandom was being in Athens when UGA was #1 preseason and Alabama came into Sanford Stadium and crushed their hopes an dreams. I was at a tailgate right outside the stadium and couldn’t afford a ticket. Several of my friends call me a bandwagon fan and I guess they have a point, but my Dad is from Montgomery and has been a Bama fan all his/ my life. Roll Tide. I’m a new man.
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