Now that Cyrus issues are over I can really sit back and take stock of how this years recruiting wars damaged my brain.
1. Auburn is all about family. It's their motto and something their fans post ad nauseam. It doesn't really make sense and no one really gets what they are exactly talking about, but they use the word "family" enough times that you have to think family is important to them. Unless your family doesn't want you to go to Auburn. Then fuck what those people think. Be a man, make your own decision.
2. Someone in Clemson sold their soul to the devil. No, seriously. There was a pentagram drawn on the ground somewhere on that campus then a goat's throat was cut and a conversation with dark forces took place. A lot of extremely talented kids suddenly decided that their greatest college ambition was to finish third in whatever division Clemson happens to be in as a part of one of the worst conferences in the BCS. Three years from now Clemson will put together a season with ten or more wins and possibly win that abomination they call a championship game. Then the coach will have to put up with everyone talking about how he "won with Dabo's players."
3. Mark Richt thinks it's gosh golly funny how hot his seat is and would like to thank god for third degree burns on his rear. Say what you want about this man and his underachieving football teams but he just pulled in another solid class in a long line of solid classes. Talent has never been a problem at Georgia under Mark Richt. Yea, he may have got drunk that one time in Jacksonville and woken up with a tramp stamp that read "Gator Bitch." But for the tenth time he's back and he's bringing a talented football team with him. And in a year where his team is expected to win it all he'll probably finish third in the East. But this year is Mark Richt time. Because when pundits say, "South Carolina should win the East" they're really saying "Anyone could win the East." So why not Georgia?
4. Nick Saban really REALLY hates the media. I know this one is obvious but really, he outdid himself this year. First he gets in front of a group of reporters at the Senior Bowl and tells them all how all the problems with recruiting is THEIR fault and how THEY should all be ashamed. And they took it. Just let Nick Saban piss all over them while holding out a recording device nodding their heads. He then gets up in front of his HOME CROWD of beat writers who exist to lick the puckered sphincter of Alabama football early and often and he BITCHES at them about how meaningless the press conference is. "Yea I filled my needs and they're all good kids. What the fuck did you expect me to say?" He yells at HIS GUYS who are there to make HIS PROGRAM look better. His utter disdain for anything having to do with a camera fills me with joy. It really is nice being the big bad empire again with the evil genius head coach.
5. Texas has this shit on auto-pilot. They've got a top ten class and they stopped recruiting two months ago. It's good to be the King of Texas.
6. FSU would like to fill the power void in Florida please. Florida has been the most culturally signifgant state in our sport for the past 30 years. Starting with Miami all the way to the Urban Meyer at Florida this state has been ground zero for College Football drama. They've had top five teams year in and year out coming out of this state and bookoo national titles. With Urban Meyer stepping down and Randy Shannon bowing out at Miami it really is the Seminoles chance to take the lead in the Sunshine state and be THE team of Florida.
7. Fuck Tom Luginbill. I didn't really learn this it just needed to be said.