So I'm getting married.

there really is someone out there for everyone! Congratulations on finding yours, rugman!

In terms of marriage advice, I’m not sure I have any to give. You ever hear that flying is kind of like learning how to continually fall without ever hitting the ground? Well, there have been times in my marriage that were like that. Only in my case, it’s not so much that I didn’t hit the ground, but that there was someone there to catch me (or at least to put out the fire and cart off the bodies).

In terms of honeymoon advice, I personally recommend cruises. I go on vacations to relax. My wife goes on vacations to see and experience as many new things as is reasonable practicable. For us, a cruise is a nice compromise. While we’re on the ship, we’ll take some classes and go dancing and stuff, but it’s relatively laid-back and relaxing, with some sitting out in deck chairs, swimming, etc. Your room is cleaned for you, your meals are cooked for you (and of generally excellent quality), and there’s lots of things to do, if you really want to. When we hit a port, then we rush rush rush and see new things, hurryhurryhurrywedon’twanttobelate and all of that stuff. Then, at the end of the day, we’re back on the ship and get to relax some more. I love the Caribbean, but there are some outstanding Med cruises that hit some of the most romantic and history-filled locations (Venice, Florence, Rome, Marseilles, Barcelona) on Earth.

Don’t get married in the fall.

Don’t get nervous or stressed. Treat it like a day you’ll remember for the rest of your life; because you will remember almost every moment of that day.

Points wise, write her a letter and leave it wherever she’s getting dressed. Tell her how you’ve waited for this day, can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with her, etc. Pays dividends. Lots and lots of lovely dividends.

Don’t stop going on dates. If you had already stopped, start again.

Keep communicating. Don’t keep all your joys and frustrations to yourself. She is going to be your best ally when you want someone on your side, so let her know what’s going on.

Hopefully these tidbits compiled from my experiences can help you out. Good luck and Roll Tide.

If you need advice for the honeymoon, you’re not doing it right.
If you need advice for before the honeymoon, you’ve found the wrong one.
If you’re looking for advice for after the honeymoon, let us know when you find it.

Just remember that it isn’t always easy but it is always worth it…

Treat her with honor, respect and loyalty if you expect the same…

I just went to my in-laws 40th anniversary and I hope in 40 years I will still have my wife to share the good and the bad times with! Good luck, I am sure you won’t regret it…

hope you and her enjoy the moment and have some fun.

I hope and wish you two the best for the future! No gameday wedding, however.

…my words of advice; never go to bed mad at each other. If it takes all night, settle your ish. And remember it isn’t all wine and roses, but hard work.

To a marriage that terminates in death! Seriously, that is a toast I give. LOL

Marriage is great but it is a lot of work. Some things to remember:

1) It’s no longer just about you, so be considerate of her wishes, dreams, etc. and work together when making big decisions

2) No secrets – that’s a killer

3) Take time to enjoy your marriage and adjust to living together before having kids. Kids are great but you need some time to travel and just enjoy marriage as kids take it to a whole notha’ level.

4) LISTEN – Don’t problem solve unless asked

5) Don’t go to bed angry – resolve any issues before going to sleep or the argument will linger for days.

You follow the above and your relationship will grow stronger with time. This is no longer about “you” it changes to “us.” The sooner you figure that out the easier and more enjoyable it will be. good luck and God bless.

Also, so many of you shrewd, wise, partially and fully grown up people say “don’t get married on gameday!” So why, oh why is my friend (who’s still a student!) getting married the day of the MSU game? Yes, it’s an away game, but it’s also the closest and easiest access away game. And my roommate already said she’s going to the wedding, so I can’t bail for the football game, because she’s going. Lame.

Make sure you give yourself plenty of recovery time.

1) Make Christ the center of your home.
2) Both be die-hard Alabama fans.
3) Be “the man” of the home, but don’t be a dictator.
4) Let her have her way with paint colors and bed comforters.
5) Be patient with her cooking the first year or two.

Congratulations and Roll Tide!

1) F*&k the Jones’
2) Save your money
3) Communicate honestly and openly about everything, especially finances

Having been a part of 2 marriages, I’m not sure I’m the one to be giving advice. Ha.

Most everyone above gave great advice and is mostly true. Good luck to you both!

“More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.”
~Doug Larson

SHE is always right.

I’d say the most significant realization I’ve had is that most days aren’t 50/50 when it comes to making it work. Some days, you’ll have to pull 90% (or more) and some days you’ll need her to do the same.

Make sure you keep something just for yourself (weekly poker game with the guys, for example) and that she does the same. Quality time apart will enhance quality time together.

…do not offer her a California Potato Chip.

Top tips from the first botched experiment:
1. Don’t marry a lesbian
2. Don’t marry your competitor
3. Don’t marry someone with differing sexual appetites
4. Politics and religion matter, but not as much as decisions about having munchkins
5. Drink a lot.

my biggest thing would be, learn how to put pride aside when you need to communicate about shit. either money, sex, school/career, whatever. being honest all the way from the start is your best bet, dont sugar coat things and dont be afraid to stand up for yourself.

that said, forget about winning arguments. its not worth it. even if its obvious that you did win (obvious choice was obvious, wife had hesitations, after discussing you both see the obvious choice…) still find a way to let her think it was her idea. you’ll be much happier for it.

and, everyone keeps saying it cause its true, communication is the key. and it takes more work than you can imagine to be able to develop and hone your communication styles/techniques w your spouse. for real, as more time has passed, more behaviors get ingrained, feelings get suppressed a little. you might be surprised in 3 years to learn that something you are doing or not doing, means more to her than you trhought it would/should. Communicate, dont hold grudges or ever try to “get back at them” or “win”.

Also yeah try your best to be a responsible provider and save as much money as you can. find whatever works for you guys as far as budgeting goes (i like motleyfool.com and books and stuff from Ric Eddleman, others really like Dave Ramsay). you’ll need to be on the same page financially or you could wind up in serious trouble. (personally its easy for us. we’re broke, wife likes to cook and shop for things on clearance anyways. so we cook and buy things on clearance. budget? dont spend much if anything. simple, see?)

and last, and this is true, no one told me about this: dont be surprised when you realize you keep falling deeper and deeper in love as the years pass.

. . . . and I’m out the door: BUT FIRST!

CON-FREAKING-GRATULATIONS rugman!

I’ll tell you this much: when I was in front of all my family and a boatload of my friends, and hers; in a foreign country, with a Cambodian-refugee-Pastor as our officiant (couldn’t understand a word he said. in Dutch AND English- go figure?. . .but he sounded PRETTY DAMN SERIOUS ABOUT ALL THE BUSINESS), and- although I couldn’t make out EVERY word- . . .I got the gist. Needless to say, the whole “’til death do us part” and “promises of loyalty and faithfulness” TRULY. GOT. TO. ME.

I was a bit of a rapscallion in my unmarried life. But, (getting the shivers. . . .) I. am. a. changed. man. I cannot believe how much I love this woman of mine. It’s like- the true indication of love to me came through her on that moment I said, “I do.”

It’s this: I will certainly take vengeance, with full force and knowing the consequences of my own behavior- if it should come to prison, death, whatever- if ANYONE ever hurts, harms, or messes-with my wife. I never felt that way about a woman/person. Never.

I do now.

That’s love, according to Bix.

Happy nuptials to you and yours, rugman!

(I’m going to learn so new steps in salsa dancing with my wife right now. This shit’s a hoot! Marriage, that is. Dancing? . . . .Egads!!! I kinda have to, you know?)

seriously though, i hope you already did your bachelor party. i did mine like a week or 2 before the big thing. had a blast. up til like 6 am doing lines after leavin the scrip club. thats a proper bachelor party if you ask me. but no way could i have done that if i had to get married the next day. i was out of commission for a day and half…

anyway, congrats and have fun on the honeymoon.

made this agreement- I make all the major decisions and she makes all the minor decisions.

Thus far there have been no major decisions.

By the way, one of the real keys to a marriage is to actually be faithful to each other. 32 years and I have not looked at another woman, much less touched one. (Actually it goes back 3 years before that.) Knowing you are just going to be with one woman for life makes life more simple, more peaceful, and actually happier.

Be the kind of man you would want your girls (kids) to marry.

And one other piece of advice—take your wife out on a date once a week. We’ve done that for the past 25 years (it took me 7 years of marriage to realize we were in communication rut) and it has made all the difference in the world. And, when you get enough money, take your wife to a new country every year for vacation.