FanPost

Jordan "Imelda" Jefferson and other LSU Kick-in-the-face-Gate Humor

Just read in the local paper today's story about Jordan Jefferson (obviously no relation to Thomas) and his fellow LSU football players and how (this may come as a shock to you, but keep reading) two bartenders who had previously not spoken to police investigators have surfaced as material witnesses. These fine fellows claim two areas of knowledge: 1. "What we do know is that Lowery threw the first punch," said Shady's Bar manager John Peak and door manager (?) Jordan Neldare, and 2. "That's one thing we do know and we will attest to--and he had been kicked out of the bar." Supposedly Lowery was harassing a young woman in the bar, which is strictly not allowed at Shady's and then after being thrown out of the bar, decided to throw a punch at one of least 4 LSU football players. I don't know about you, but that is what I always do after being thrown out of a Bar. Even funnier than the miraculously appearing, not-previously interviewed exculpatory witnesses (who would have thought about asking employees of the bar where the fight occurred whether they had seen anything?) is the fact that the purpose of the police search warrant for Jordan Jefferson's apratment was to obtain DNA from Jefferson's shoes that (allegedly) kicked one of the victims in the face while he was lying on the ground. Only problem was that when police got there, Jefferson had 49 pairs in his closet. As a confirmed shoe-holic, I had to go count how many were in my closet and am embarrassed to say that I don't even have 49 pairs in my closet. But I only have my Spring/Summer models there. Imelda would be so proud!

FanPosts are just that; posts created by the fans. They are in no way indicative of the opinions of SBN and the authors of Roll Bama Roll.

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