No, I am not drunk. Or Catholic.
I, as an inveterate and unapologetic Notre Dame megahater, hereby declare my overwhelming desire to see Our Beloved Conference, She of Notable Speed, extend a hale and hearty invitation to the Golden Domers. And I hope to Fancy Catholic God said Domers accept.
Why, you may ask? I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why right in the face.
1.) If Notre Dame may somehow be rendered less relevant, it is by watching them fail utterly to separate themselves from the colorful bunglers and ne'er-do-wells -- Ole Miss, et al -- who populate the depths of Our League, Which Is Mighty Especially When Auburn Cheats.
2.) The ensuing Finebaum episode would collapse into a point singularity, from which not even Phyllis from Mulga could escape, ridding cultured society of a malignant tumor.
3.) Leprechauns have traction in south Alabama, at least. (could be a crackhead.)
4.) I lied about drunk.