It's Meltdown Time! | Week Six

US PRESSWIRE - Presswire

This week's shameful revel in the misery of others features Georgia, Auburn, Ole Miss, Texas, and Florida State.

All the upsets this week brought some pretty strong material in. Big thanks to the following folks for submitting:

TiderUpNorth, DennyChimes, Lil Sis, *nameredacted*akaCJ, Bama's Lucky Grits, lastmilefire, ihartbama, J Tadpole, bham03uagrad, SoGladILeftTheAcc, Darth Saban, MDBTideRoll, @Seschenck, and several others that didn't give me a name to credit (but thanks anyway!).

As always, if you are in any way offended by vulgarity, sexual innuendo, dirty words, and etc. DO NOT READ FURTHER. You have been warned.

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GEORGIA/SOUTH CAROLINA

Even Sarah McLaughlin can't save these dawgs

No matter how good South Carolina ever is they should never beat us more than two times in a decade! I am so ashamed right now! If you want to keep Richt after this then you must hate UGA.

Jenkins takes off too many plays…if being big and fat gets you a starting job on the Georgia D, sign my sister up…

I wish I could go back and go to college somewhere other than UGA. I am so sick of not winning…They poop the bed every big game and moment.

cupcake - 
cupcake - 
cupcake - 
cupcake- 
cupcake - 
reality

Has anyone checked to see if Mark Richt is awake? Guy looks pretty glassy-eyed and droopy over there. Is his headset plugged in? Does he need a cup of coffee? A blood transfusion?

Bobo means stupid in Spanish

I heard that Richt coached-up Obama for the debate.

It’s a jail break now…you would think the UGA athletes could handle something like that…

Remember last week when we said at least the close call to Tennessee will be a wake up call? LOL.

I think once this game is done the whole team needs to come together and just rob a bank, just do something as a team where they can all come together and do something as a team

Good news: This should save the dawgs an ass beatin by bama.

I dont want to feel feelings anymore.

Time to start learning how to say "Roll tide" without throwing up in my mouth.

Honey...fucking...Bobo

Stupid penalty like that and Mark Richt walks right by without saying a word with his head down???? Saban would have eaten his soul!


TEXAS/WEST VIRGINIA

So I guess we're worse at defense than maryland

Both coordinators are shit...Mack isnt much better...Although he is one hell of a clapper...

How come out of 40,000 students we can't find one that can twirl a baton and doesn't look like a manatee. Sorry if she's your daughter.

The wind interfered with pursuit angles.

Might be a lot of couches back in WVA living in fear right about now

My 3yo daughter is in her cheer leading uniform trying to help. She just called them the Texas unicorns. Seems appropriate with our mythical defense.

Mack is going to spew "weather the storm" bull$#@! and "not having enough fun" and it's going to make me want to cut my $#@! off.

Rob Schneider < We suck Again!!!!> Rob Schneider

So how does this work when the game's over -- do we schedule a time for them to come over to burn our couches?

I always defended us when fans from other teams called us soft throughout the years, but now I'm $#@!ing done. We are soft our coaching staff has no nuts and our defense is filled with a bunch of pussies. Jesus $#@!ing Christ we pull in all these 5 stars and we $#@!ing constantly get our coached by teams with 2 and 3 stars. $#@! This But hey we are having fun arent we?

G. Smith "I had two fumbles down there and had that not happened we would have won by a lot more".... $#@! you with a gay man's $#@!, you $#@!er!!!

Goddamn Im so pissed I could kick an infant. We get the ball on the $#@!ing 8 and $#@! the bed......that's what it all came down to in the end.

Good thing that Penn State kicker transfer got a scholarship. You had one job. One fucking job.

I was one missed tackle away from shitting myself on that return...

At this point, I think the defensive coaches are deliberately telling the players not to tackle. I actually get more resistance from my couch while walking through my living room than what our backfield is capable of putting up.

Texas cant fucking tackle fucj

who will beat WVU? Kstate? ou?

Alabama.

A team takes on the character of its head coach. Holgo is divorced, lives in a hotel, drinks, gambles, fucks coeds, hates Sally's cookies. Mack is a salesman.

Diaz needs to get deported.


FLORIDA STATE/NC STATE

Jimbo might want to head to Arkansas. I rather have Petrino

In a way, this is a relief...don't have to sweat about the rest of the year. Miami and UF are all I need to worry about now. Oh the perverse sweetness of settling for less.

I'm straight don't worry, I have a box of tissues and bottle of vodka. Tomorrow I won't even remember FSU played.

computer was still on. Wife (also alum) wakes up; "did we win?…… “no”…. “still over rated?”…. “yes”….rolls over, snores. At least I’ll get laid in the morning.

This was all a ploy by Jimbo. Seeing Alabama’s dominant team this year, he didn’t want to risk having to play them in the National Championship and get embarrassed like LSU did last year, so he took the easy way out, lost a bullshit game, and guaranteeing us some lower division bowl game that we will win. also something Illuminati related……or something….

Everyone Settle the FUCK DOWN. Our OC was the OC at FIU…. I’m pretty sure he has this under control. Just a little blip.

Just bought some bath salts, time to forget this shit ever happened

My wife is PISSED. She is taking a trip to the emergency room with me tomorrow for my broken hand…and i have at least 3 holes to patch in the wall.

Jimbo, you are not Nick.

I officially decommit as a FSU fan


OLE MISS/TEXAS A&M

Waiting for the neighbors to call the cops on me...

wife on the way home from setting up a furniture store. She is going to be reminiscent to realize our furniture is destroyed with crunk.

Fuck me running Yes, We Are Ole Miss. Geez.

The only thing that could have had a more Orgeron feel to it was if we planned a fireworks show followed by a power outage.

Fuck it. Gotta find the bottom of this bottle. At least I can win that.

I hope we beat Auburn by 900 points Only that will get this taste of shit out of my mouth…

I’m almost convinced that above all else, Mike Slive wants to keep us in our place. Let the new guys win, keep Alabama in the NC race, and above all else don’t let us win the West (“because you know all those Ole Miss people will bring their flags and that Colonel guy into the Georgia Dome”) LET ME HAVE MY PARANOID CONSPIRATORIAL DELUSIONS IT’S ALL I HAVE

I’m a Rebel I’m a Rebel I’m a Rebel through and through. I’d rather be a Rebel than a coonass from LSU

Our fucking qb is 6'4 he could have farted and made the damn first down why would you go for it out of damn shotgun?!!

There comes a time each year when I stop watching the Rebels. This is that time. Why in the GODDAMN FUCK, with 1/8 inch to go, did we line up in the SHOTGUN for a goddamn run on 4th down? We had this game won the entire fucking game. They gave the shit away. They had 6 turnovers and we fucking lost a game that we had in the bag. Fuck shit fuck.

I'm going to go down to campus and find every fucking bear mascot and take them out into the woods and burn them by pouring bourbon all over them. Then I’m going to piss on the embers to put the fire out.

I get tired of folks tellin me they know how I feel. Are you an Ole Miss fan? Then you fuckin don’t know how this shit feels over and over again because it doesn’t happen to any other program in the country.

One day in the distant future Ole Miss will win an SEC championship. And you can bet that the earth will stop spinning, volcanoes will erupt, the moon will fly off and hit mars and the sun will implode into a super nova. And I’ll die happy.

That's like predicting Nick Saban will get caught screwing a live boy or a dead girl. I suppose there’s a statistical possibility, but it is slim.

Of course For selfish personal reasons, I prefer the Saban scenario to the supernova.

Quit trolling to see what other people are saying about your team. By your team I’m referring to the school that you undoubtedly did not attend but have rooted for since conception and made daily calls to Pawl about since last year when you traded in the two cans connected by a string for the classy new rotary phone that is proudly displayed in your double-wide. Take your ass to WalMart and get the most recent Tide apparel laying claim to the 84 national championships awarded by Housewives Magazine and save us from reading your ignorantly pretentious posts. (ed.- y’all think he’s talking about us?)


AUBURN/ARKANSAS

Our offense can be summed up as sacks and screens.

I don't remember the last time we were this bad. We were 4-1 at this point in the '08 season. Yeah. Think about that.

Auburn is a Christian school. The real winners will be known on judgement day. Bammers won't be there. I hate bammers.

Oh boy, I'm wearing my Auburn sweatshirt, but I'm embarrassed to go to the grocery store now - AND I LIVE IN OHIO.

Fire all of them starting with Gene Suxnicks & the Athletic Department folks that brought him here.

The trees are not the only thing dead in Auburn this season. Thank you for opening up my fall to do new things. Bye Gene.

Christ almighty looks like Frazier is coming back out. Is Moseley at the concession stand?

I think the more we prepare the worse we look. Coaching is turning these stud recruits into confused pansies.

You know it's bad when you wish your team was as good as Mississippi State.

What is there to say? We already know we have the worst bunch of QBs in the nation and not one of them could have started in the Auburn High vs Carver football game.

Bobby P is kicking back, ordering another Harley while in the cell phone and saying "yes Jay, she's going to be young, she's going to be blonde, and you're not gonna say a God-damned thing about it. Come to Papa.

ESPN is doing a special on the Auburn fans that stayed. All six of then

I have enjoyed the NAPA commercial more than Auburn football this season.

On the bright side, Chizik's undefeated streak in bowl games won't be snapped this year

Still proud to be an Auburn Tiger, but I think I'm now going to focus my attention on the Ladies Golf Team. Maybe I'll be a little less frustrated on Saturday's in the fall!!!!!! #chiziksgottago

We are a Bob Dylan team. Forever young.

From what I've seen so far, we will be outcoached by the Vandy and Ole Miss.

Yeah, we looked deceptively adequate during the off-week.

Yes, Auburn Fans.......Millions of dollars being paid out to our Coaching Staff and a how many Top Ten Recruiting Classes and here we are sitting at 1-4????? I'm thinking Alabama A&M will whip on us Homecoming!!!!!

I am sure LSU is watching this and thinking WTF is wrong with us

This hard nosed Arky D is tough to run on

Cass and Wallace should start the 2nd half. If not, prepare your anus

My anus is already prepared

Can your anus throw a 15 yard tight spiral? Might could use it if so.

If Tom Brady had listened to anything SL taught him, he would be bagging groceries right now.

Where is the emoticon of the guy jumping off the cliff I could use it right now.

Should've paid Trotter to stick around for another year.

While Pat Dye wouldn't trade Chizik for 10 Nick Sabans, Chizik was just outcoached by one John L. Smith."

If we get John L Smithed that is worse than getting Croomed.

Is this the worst Auburn team in the past 20-30 years??? Serious question. We do absolutely nothing right except for running to the locker room after a loss.

And we still have 7 games left, Is the Sun Belt accepting new teams?

Plenty of material for RBR’s meltdown thread. Nice.

to quote my father "oh my god, we're Vanderbilt"

Alabama beat Arkansas 52 0 and we are losing to Arkansas by 10. So by the transitive property...... I should sell my ticket.

It's all good though cause we're "ALL IN..." fuck that shit

Damn man we aint never gone get to roll Toomers smn

For the rest of the season, Auburn should pay US to go to the games, or give us a refund for the part of our tuition that pays Gene Chizik.

Who looks worse? Chizik for pulling Frazier or Vegas for favoring us by 10?

I'm ready for "Coach Troop" to turn his freakin hat

With two turnovers today against Arkansas, Auburn is now the worst in the FBS in turnover margin. Second worst? Arkansas.

It’s the little victories at this point….. FIRST DOWN AUBURN! lol

7?!?!…i mean this is the ghost of Honk if you sacked Brodie game coming back to haunt us

Seven points, ladies and gentlemen. Seven points to a team that has given up +50 each in two SEC games.

It can’t get any worse. Really. Loeffler’s play calling is baffling…to us, not opposing defenses.


LSU/FLORIDA

I am so glad Mett is our savior at QB!

And we were complaint about JJ and Lee last yr! Ummmm

Where are all these dumbass sunshine pumpers that believe this offense is awesome and akin to the patriots offense. I want to see these frick sticks post how awesome les and stud are, and how we are gonna beat bama with this putrid offense

the defense should be allowed to beat the shite out of the offense after the game

Yall happy with this offense? We wont score against Bama

I guess you people have not noticed that our offensive line is a triage ward!

we have given up 95 yards of offense.. and are getting out gained..

Open tryouts for LSU football players

LSU sucks, does nothing, continues to suck. Punts.

At least we have the Saints.................................

I'm 6 screwdrivers in..... I blame throwing my 6 month chip away on Les. Just kidding, I've never gone more than 6 days....

There it is. We cannot even piss on our own feet. This is BS

Why in the hell can't Verne and Gary stop talking about Mathieu? HE. IS. NOT. THERE.

Whether you admit it or not, you knew we were getting by on talent and luck and the coaching was always arse for years.

Les Miles RESIGN as soon as possible. We all appreciate your winning a national championships game with Nick Sabins team. Thanks. Now RESIGN.

We're not really "Falling", if you think about it; rather, we're moving closer to a better depiction of where we should be.

At least we now know that the auburn game was no fluke. We are very bad on offense.

"Flag" is our best play

Best way I describe the offense right now If your kid couldn’t pass algebra, you wouldn’t put him in trig. LSU’s offense can’t get the basics going right now.

Maybe we should design a football shaped like a nice round ass for Mett———he’ll never fumble that.

I have total confidence in the clock management at this moment

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