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Mr. Crimson True-Ratings: Week 10

Well, here's the important thing: ALABAMA is still #1 after a voodoo curse was put on AJ during halftime of the LSU game. Unfortunately for LSU, the game ran long and the curse was lifted with enough time to force a long field goal try and drive 70+ yards down the field in 30 seconds and score the game winning touchdown with the same hesitation one uses when deciding whether or not to go out on that date with the prettiest girl in school. (on a sidenote: my Dad and I were watching the game on a farm in South Alabama, and we both kicked the same chair at the same time and sent it sailing about 30 yards across the back yard where the family had a big screen and a smorgasbord of a tailgate set up. Since that kick was delivered at the exact moment that LSU gained its final fourth down, we will take credit for lifting the voodoo curse by accident in one of those weird "father/son do the same thing at the exact same time" clauses that lift curses and restores balance to the force. Perhaps we were not the only father/son combo to do something out of frustration in unison at that particular moment in the game. At any rate, ALABAMA 21-LSU 17.

2) OREGON played a USC team with tenacity (on offense). Sadly for OREGON, while people wonder how USC could give up 62 pts (since they haven't done it in 50+ years), nobody batted an eye when OREGON gave up 50+ to USC. This (and the other teams OREGON has played this year) is the basic reason OREGON is #2 and not #1.

3) KANSAS STATE played a close one (if you would call a two touchdown spread close) against a formidable (in theory) OKLAHOMA STATE squad. Then you remember it's not 2011.

4) NOTRE DAME won again, barely. Lou Holtz was quoted as saying that this Notre Dame squad is a "team of destiny" in what was surely the single most objective thing ever said in sports journalism ever (if anything Lou Holtz says can ever be a) fully understood and b) "journalism"). If by "team of destiny" he means "manages to eke out close games against inferior teams like Pitt by virtue of a Hiesman-worthy linebacker with a sob story" than yeah, sure Lou, whatever. I remember a team that eked out close wins over inferior competition and was undefeated late into the season: the 2005 Alabama squad.

6) FSU kicked itself again for losing that game to NC State. I can't remember if FSU played this week or not, but I do remember this whole notion that the ACC is largely irrelevant and that has held up pretty nicely.

7)GEORGIA decided to look "presidential" for election week, winning in a fashion normally reserved for teams with lots of preseason buzz. They will now lose to Auburn in a vain effort to a) start a dumpster fire in the SEC East and b) give Auburn hideous delusions of grandeur in regards to the Iron Bowl.

8)FLORIDA sat on a curb and thought about this weird season that saw them look pedestrian, then look like a national championship contender, then suddenly get blown to bits by a team that had largely been looking pedestrian all season. Then they remembered that they were playing a game against Missouri, who's contractually obligated not to win any meaningful SEC games this year for whatever reason Mike Slive does what he does. (hint: it's called "being a wizard," which is probably just as responsible for lifting that voodoo curse as me and my father are with that kick the chair at the same time charade (Dad: "I didn't kick it hard, I wondered why it went sailing like that"). I'm not gonna lie, it was my chair, so I knew I could kick the shit out of it and had been eyeing it for the past ten minutes.

9) CLEMSON looks good, but would like to remain respectfully quiet so it doesn't get paired with a BCS caliber team that'll pin a five touchdown gap on them during bowl season.

10) LOUISVILLE remains undefeated, but will not be placed high enough to warrant BCS bowl consideration because LOUISVILLE just doesn't give off the "we can bring a crowd and make you a lot of money" vibe.

11) NORTHERN ILLINOIS has still only lost one game this year, but if Northern Illinois wins a bunch of games in the woods and there's nobody there to see it, does it make a sound?

12) TEXAS A&M took ALABAMA'S chewed up scraps of a team and nourished itself on them again. (I'm referring to Arkansas and MSU). Does this mean they are formidable? Yes. Does this mean we will take one to the wire again? No. We needed a field goal blocked to beat Tennessee in 2009. Sometimes, when you're having an off-week, the difference between a ho-hum win and an edge of your seat nailbiter is having a running back fumble the ball at an inopportune time.

13) LOUISIANA TECH. Rather quaint that they stay below 2-loss Texas A&M.

14) OREGON STATE is actually really good this year. Does this translate into "beat Oregon" good? I hope so. I'm all about that Notre Dame Team of Destiny tripe, especially if by Team of Destiny, we mean "go undefeated during the regular season and then get curbstomped by Alabama". I hate Notre Dame and can't quite remember who Oregon State played this week.

15) OKLAHOMA beat TEXAS TECH. Didn't this game already happen this year? Am I remembering West Virginia's game? Does anybody remember when there was a team named West Virginia that was supposed to be really good this year? Does anybody remember when OKLAHOMA won all of their regular season games? OKLAHOMA does, which is probably why they go ahead and drop a couple now. Don't wanna be a "Team of Destiny". Seriously, I hate Notre Dame.

16) KENT STATE. Because stranger things have happened. (Seriously, what is up with the MAC this year?)

17) SOUTH CAROLINA.

18) TOLEDO.

19) UTAH STATE.

20) RUTGERS. Still here. You know who you won't find on this? USC.

21) LSU. You lose to Alabama, you can stay in the Top 25. You lose to Alabama after beating them the entire second and going ahead only to drop a TD to them in the final minute? You're going to fall a bit for that one. Thank you, LSU. Thank you.

22)STANFORD. Another team everyone is looking at against OREGON... I mean, who knows, right?

23) OHIO. MACtion. For real, what is it with the MAC this year?

24)TEXAS makes it back onto the rankings after beating TEXAS TECH... Oh, yeah, I see what I did now. Who did Oklahoma beat this week, anyway?

25) MSU. Yeah, the season, Bulldogs. It's not over yet. Don't act like you really thought you had a shot at the big game.

See if you can spot where Ohio State would be this week if I had included them?

FanPosts are just that; posts created by the fans. They are in no way indicative of the opinions of SBN and the authors of Roll Bama Roll.

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