In response to the new safety rules proposed by the NCAA rules committee, some of Bama’s opponents have submitted the following suggestions:
1. Yellow “non-contact” jerseys for opposing QBs
2. Bama’s LBs have to suit up in the big foam Sumo wrestling suits.
3. Bama is allowed 11 defenders, but 2 of them have to assist the offense by tackling Jesse Williams
4. Saban’s pre-game speech is limited to 3 seconds. Must observe monk-like silence at half.
5. Replace Scott Cochran with emotionless pod person.
6. Cade Foster, Vinnie Sunseri, Trey DePriest, and HaHa aren’t allowed to tackle on kick-offs
7. Opposing team allowed 6 “Peremptory” Challenges to remove Bama players from the game. Any coach that Saban has made quit gets 12 challenges.
8. Bama gymnast or Big Al must play nose tackle.
When asked about these rules changes, Saban was quoted as saying “I really don’t care about all that sh” (Saban wasn’t allowed to complete his comment due to rule #4)
Feel free to add your own.
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