So, earlier this week I got a reminder of the sendoff bash the local alumni group is having for the kids heading to UA this year. There's a hell of a lot of culture shock in store for a native Arizonan heading to Alabama for the next four or so years of their life. Thus, I felt it necessary to compile a list of things they need to know before arriving in the Yellowhammer State and share them with the world on Twitter.

WARNING: This is in all-caps shouty font due to the importance of the subject and there are a couple of cuss words in the mix as well for the same reason.

preparing for a sendoff party for arizona kids headed to UA. rule one: KNOW HOW TO DRINK? BETTER LEARN!

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule two: IF IT WEARS ORANGE WE HATE IT!

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule three: EAT AT ARCHIBALDS AND THE CITY CAFE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. YOU'RE GONNA MISS THAT SHIT SO BAD LATER...

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule four: COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS LIFE. THESE PAC 12 ASSHOLES HAVE LIED TO YOU ALL THESE YEARS.

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule five: IT'S CALLED HUMIDITY: DEAL WITH IT!

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule six: SWEET TEA IS THE WAY GOD INTENDED THE BEVERAGE TO BE SERVED.

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule seven: WE APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR THE SECONDHAND SMOKE.

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule eight: THE MOSQUITOES WON'T KILL YOU. UNLESS YOU ARE REALLY UNLUCKY.

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule nine: ROAD TRIP TO AT LEAST ONE AWAY GAME EVERY YEAR. EVEN IF IT'S STARKVILLE. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD A COWBELL BEFORE, SON?

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule ten: KEEP YOUR GRADES UP. THE LONGER YOU ARE IN SCHOOL, THE LONGER YOU QUALIFY FOR STUDENT TICKETS.

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule eleven: CHICK-FIL-A WILL WORK AS YOUR IN-N-OUT BURGER METHADONE.

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule twelve. YOU ARE GOING TO SEE MORE RAIN IN THE NEXT SIX MONTHS THAN YOU HAVE SEEN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule thirteen: @CollegeGameDay IS THE BEST SHOW ON TELEVISION. OR AT LEAST THE MOST IMPORTANT.

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule fourteen: CRAIG JAMES HAS NEVER DENIED KILLING FIVE HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU.

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule fifteen: GET USED TO RIVAL FANS GLOATING OVER SCORES OF GAMES THEY WON. RESPOND BY QUOTING THEIR OVERALL RECORDS AGAINST ALABAMA BACK.

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule sixteen. JORTS ARE AN AFFRONT TO GOD AND MAN.

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule seventeen. IT'S OK TO CRY IN FRONT OF THE BEAR BRYANT STATUE. EVEN IF YOU ARE A GUY.

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule eighteen. ALABAMA SOFTBALL! 2012 NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

rule nineteen. NOBODY HAS EVER DIED EATING THE FERGUSON CENTER FOOD.

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012

It's true. "@kleph: rule nineteen. NOBODY HAS EVER DIED EATING THE FERGUSON CENTER FOOD."

— Ferguson Center (@TheFergUA) June 13, 2012

rule twenty. I SWEAR TO GOD MY DORM ROOM WAS WORSE THAN YOURS. #ABERCROMBIE

— kleph (@kleph) June 13, 2012