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You like Alabama football because you are from Alabama, and need something, anything to be proud...

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You like Alabama football because you are from Alabama, and need something, anything to be proud of, or worse still you need it to connect you to a home you left long ago because you never ever felt comfortable there. You like it because you like winning, and are one of those shallow people who just like things that win, and don’t particularly care one way or the other if you have any actual connection to said thing. You like Alabama football for the same reason people not born in New York like the New York Yankees: because they are successful, and more than anything else, more than soul, person, place, or for the love of the thing itself, you value cardinal order. You might have a gigantic pachyderm of emotions sitting there in the corner of the room labeled "Father," and if he’s over there, then you’re over here watching Crimson Tide football for dark, obvious, and insoluble reasons.

COUNTDOWN: 20 - Every Day Should Be Saturday We love Alabama because we hate ourselves. Or something. I think this is where I'm supposed to ironically and/or nonsensically say "roll tide" and make a "Mark Richt has lost control of EDSBS" joke. #rolltide
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