Recently some blow hard Yankee got all carried away and caught up in the moment and then accused Nick Saban of cheating. This bozo had no proof but he basically accused Saban because his teams have been TOO good.
Well this clown had no proof and now he has no credibility. However, I have proof that Nick Saban cheats and I’m going to reveal it now.
1. Nick Saban works harder than should be humanly possible. No doubt one reason for Saban’s success is his ability to simply out work all the other coaches. But how can he do that? Look at the guy, he is 60 years and looks like he is 35 and he works like he is 25. How is this possible?
There is only one explanation. Nick Saban must be taking some substance to give him the energy he needs to work harder than every other coach. And in fact Saban is taking something. And, here is what he is taking...Little Debbie Cakes. Seriously Saban is cheating by eating Debbie Cakes everyday. Obviously these addictive snacks should be banned and declared illegal. Anything that can give that much energy is cheating.
2. Nick Saban is a relentless recruiter. Closely related to Saban’s cheating by working harder than anyone else is his relentless pursuing top football prospects. This is obviously cheating because Saban will not leave a prospect alone until he commits to Bama. He is so relentless that even players committed to other teams are still contacted by Saban. It is unfair for Saban to recruit so relentlessly because the other head coaches cannot even sleep at night wondering which of their recruits may be talking to Saban. Furthermore, the other coaches can not even enjoy a weekend duck hunting trip knowing that the cheating Saban is contacting their prospects.
Clearly Saban is cheating by being so relentlessly and must be brought up on NCAA charges. It should be a violation for Nick Saban to call a prospect once that prospect has made a verbal commitment to another school. Flipping players is the worst form of cheating.
3. Nick Saban has an inside with the NFL. It is now clear that the only reason Nick Saban left LSU was to get in the NFL just long enough to get to know all the coaches in the league. Once he knew the coaches he came back to college to build his evil empire. Saban now has an unfair advantage in recruiting because he can promise recruits that if they come to Bama one day they may end up as millionaires. Forget paying a kid $100k to sign with you, Saban through his NFL insider status, promises players like Trent Richardson that if he will give Saban 3 years he could be a multimillionaire. A look at all the recent first round picks from Bama shows just how powerful Saban is regarding the NFL. Clearly knowing coaches in the NFL should be an NCAA violation.
4. Nick Saban has a superior staff. Football would be much more fair if each team had the same level of assistant coaches. Saban’s coaches are so far superior to any other team that it must be cheating. If Saban would fill his staff with average coaches than the best “team” not the best “coaches” would win. After all it is a team game, not a coaches game. Furthermore, Saban should not be able to keep someone like Kirby Smart around for 5 years. To be fair, no coach should be allowed to coach on Saban’s staff for more than 2 years.
5. Nick Saban works his players too hard. I’m not saying they are out there more hours than allowed. I’m saying during their legal time to work and practice he drives them too hard. Clearly he is driving these boys harder than the NCAA would allow if the NCAA knew what was going on. Just look at this 4th quarter program. That is obviously too tough and cheating. When all Alabama players report back from the summer in better shape, and lifting more weight than before the break, that gives Alabama an unfair advantage. Bama players should be allowed (or even required) to come back out of shape just like they did during the days of Club Shula.
6. Nick Saban pulls strings to get Bama to play a tough opponent at the beginning of most seasons. He then uses this early game to give his team momentum during the season. Now the cheating is not the momentum gained but how Saban manages to get the game scheduled in the first place. Clearly Saban is applying his own special brand of pressure to get other teams do it his way. Obviously Nick Saban should not have power over programs like Mich,. Clemson, and Va Tech. You would even have to speculate that Saban has been threatening these other coaches if they won’t play him..
Futhermore notice how often he schedules these games as the very first game. This gives Saban eight months to come up with a game plan. No one can beat Nick Saban if you give him 8 months to prepare. Shoot, they can’t hardly beat him if he only has one month to prepare. And it is not fair to the coaches of Bama’s first game to have to give up their summer vacation just to stay even with that cheating, high on Debbie Cakes, Saban.
7. Nick Saban is using the Crimson Caravan event not to recruit players but to recruit members for the REC. Now everyone knows the REC is a bunch of cheaters and they do all sorts of dirty deals to help Alabama football. But Saban is clearly working closely with them to stock Alabama with 5 star recruits. Saban’s Crimson Caravan is definitely cheating by boosting REC membership and thus undermine the fair recruiting practices of such innocent team like Auburn and UT.
I could go on, but clearly from this proof we can see that Nick Saban does in fact cheat. He works harder than everyone else, he is a relentless recruiter, he has NFL connections, he hires a superior staff, he works his players very hard, he arranges his teams schedule to his liking, and has a secret booster organization. Furthermore he does this all while under the influence of Little Debbie Cakes.
Some people call this the PROCESS. I call it cheating. How in the world can anyone compete with Nick Saban? He should be banned from football so everyone else will have a fair chance. Left unchecked the evil Saban could run off 4 or 5 consecutive national titles. That sort of cheating would not be good for the TV ratings-who wants to see Bama win every year? The fairness that once made up college football before the evil Saban arrived must be restored. The NCAA must take action before it is too late.