I didn't see this out there yet and felt obliged to post. Feel free to add yours. Here are my top ten reasons to hate the Domers:
1) Too good to join a conference - If this isn't some sort of elitist mindset, I don't know what is. I hope your deal falls through and you end up getting left out of the top four once playoffs start because YOU HAVE NO CONFERENCE. But you'll get in because...
2) Oh the media - How they love thee. Doesn't matter that they've been Mr. Irrelevant for decades. The second they get a decent record, they shoot to the top of the rankings. This team has to have more media love than all other teams combined. Sickening.
3) The Leprechaun - Seriously? What are we selling here, Lucky-fricking-Charms?!? Life isn't a fairy tale, as you will soon learn, and there ain't no gold at the end of the rainbow - just pain waiting to wash over you like a tsunami.
4) The record - I've got a few teams on my hit list due to us having a losing record against them - I hate to lose, therefore by the transitive law, I hate for the Tide to lose. Notre Dame is at the top of my list. Other than the year Biscuit leveled their QB and we got "The Sack" from Daniel Moore, we have never beaten them again. Don't like that one bit. So we need this win BADLY.
5) Catholics vs. Cousins - Yup, rumor has it that the Domer fans have created this cute little T-Shirt. OK it's funny...Got to give them props - but it's still in poor taste and I already hate thee - so this just adds fuel to my fire.
6) Remember 1966? - Neither do I as I wasn't born yet but from what I hear (and yes I believe it) Bryant and one Bama's most dominant teams went udefeated, only allowing 37 points ALL SEASON - but no - the MEDIA and company wanted Michigan and the Domers to TIE - splitting the national title between the two.
7) Gold helmets - The 80s were all about the money, spending, etc. The Domers use flecks of real gold in their paint when the touch up those sparkly helmets. I HATE SPARKLY HELMETS (looking at you too Buckeyes)!!! I hate the fact we have people who don't have enough food to eat, but yet we can paint helmets with real gold!?!?! Excessive/NOT frugal - hate it.
8) Pick a color PLEASE - Hey we have these navy jerseys, but sometimes when we feel really special we wear the green ones because...of what - the little fricking Leprechaun!?!?! Just go with a color and be done with it. Oregon needed the jersey-color-of-the-day because they had to have SOMETHING. But you? You've got tradition so don't go bipolar on us.
9) The Weis/Holtz factor - Couldn't stand Weis (needs a trainer and his shirts always had shoulder nipples) and his supposed "schematic" advantage. That worked out well for ya. I can't stand Holtz BECAUSE HE CANNOT SPEAK WITHOUT SPITTING. The dude's a walking fire hose who eternally spouts/spits off about how great the Domers are - EVERY YEAR. Too much. Just go be the voice talent for Sylvester the cat and let your weakness be used for the kids' greater good.
10) The hate factor - I hate the fact that I hate you. The fact that I hate you gives you relevance, and I HATE THAT. Couldn't you have stayed irrelevant for the next 50 years and lost your precious TV contract and spot at the power brokers' table? Nope, you had to go undefeated (THANKS PITT) and get your shot. Oregon should be playing, but hey you are Notre Dame - whatevs.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS GAME. I long for a good old fashioned curb stomping to knock you back to irrelevant land and permanently scar your inner soul - the way we did to Texas (oh but Colt...). See how they fared after our game? How about Michigan (they are still on my list)?
We're coming coming for you and Hell's coming with us!!