NSFW: It's Meltdown Time!

They mad, y'all. - Wesley Hitt

This week's edition of our shameless revelry in the misery of others.

Ah, college football. The most fickle of mistresses. Following a week virtually devoid of upsets, this week's cup runneth over with meltdown material as several passionate fanbases experienced the pain of unexpected defeat. As usual, be warned that the language in the post below is not suitable for work or small children. It is vile, vulgar, disgusting, and offensive. Unconscionable, really. If you are easily offended, point your browser elsewhere. Otherwise, proceed with caution.

This edition of the meltdown focuses on Oklahoma, Georgia, Michigan, Arkansas, and Florida. Folks, the last thing Sooner fans expected this week was to get housed by the same Texas team that Ole Miss hammered just a few short weeks ago (What were you saying about the SEC myth again, Bob?) and their message board comments reflected this. UGA, Florida, and Michigan offered some impressive meltdown material as well, but I think the silver medal has to go to the Arkansas fans who suffered through a 52-7 home throttling at the hands of a South Carolina squad that barely survived Kentucky and UCF. It's pretty clear that Bret Bielema's honeymoon will be shorter lived than most. Topics this week range from prison sex to coach firings to fat coaches with a particular taste for the Golden Corral, and Bobby Petrino managed to make cameos in both the Arkansas and Oklahoma submissions. Enjoy.

Bob-stoops-face_medium

via assets.sbnation.com

"Well, I'm out guys. If this is what's cool now, I think I'm done. I no longer have any connection to this world. I'm gonna go home and kill myself. Goodbye, friends."

We look like shit. I would've preferred the inevitable looking like shit game to come against any other team, but at this point, whatever.

That was one of the worst passes in the history of western civilization

STOP. FUCKING. THROWING. THE. GOD. DAMNED. BALL.

Shit
Shit
And shit.
3 and out

Fuck you heupel. 3 straight passes. Fuck you.

Busting out Bjorn's "We are sO fUcked" shirt...

They apparently like stretching our anus...

Making Texas look like Alabama at the line of scrimmage

Bob Stoops could coach as well as Nick Saban if he weren't such an apathetic fat fuck. Right now, Bob Stoops is being out-coached by a man who`s about to be fired because he CAN`T coach at this level. Fun.

Sooooo..... Who wants to post a silly pic of Case and say how bad he sucks? I only ask because he's better than Blake bell.

Motherfucker. Getting punked by a fucking retard.

So this is what it feels like to have been a Texas fan until about thirty minutes ago.

No offense and no defense. Heads up asses from the coaching all the way to the fucking towel boy.

How the fuck are we going to lose to these bunch of retards. Im so fucking pissed. This Texas team sucks ass.

[QUOTE=DHF;1438338]You're a dipshit.[/QUO
YOUR ONE FUCKING MORON DUDE

Well alrighty then... I'm officially gonna fucking snap

We look like a bunch of god damn pussies. Like Texas usually does. Both lines getting their shit pushed in. Nobody has the ability to tackle.

We. Are. Fucked. Bell looks like a child. He can't make the reads or throw accurately. He's bailing too soon. Yet, heupel is going to pass every ducking play. Brilliant.

May need to get cigarettes at halftime because.... Well...

So, this is what 5 fucking million buys you? Shit performance against a shit team.

Fuck every one of you cunts that posted blowout bull shit

We make a fucking retard look like a super bowl champ.

we are serving up a deep fried shit sandwich as our cotton bowl special

Fuck, we still suck.
I thought that if I went to go take a shit, I would come back and we wouldn't suck anymore.

I want to find the nearest sword and fall on it.

Mother fucking caffeinated squirrel

Everybody on then defensive line should lose their scholarship.

Sometimes the coaching staff likes a dildo or seven up the ass..

Oklahoma.... Where opportunity how to die.

Game over, I'm done fuck these fucking loser mother fuckers! Peace the fuck out!

Game over. Horns brought their A game we brought juice boxes.

I'm throwing out all the sharp things in my house.

WHEN YOU DORK AROUND WITH SHIT THAT DOESN'T WORK, YOU GIVE THE ENEMY THE CHANCE TO MAKE PLAYS AND SEIZE MOMENTUM. EAT SHIT, HEUPEL.

Hopefully this week Bob will focus more on his team. And a little less about the SEC.

Total fucking cluster fucking fuck
Drink in the ass kicking. Let it fester.

Thank God for alcohol

I'll host an awesome USC-OU Holiday Bowl party out here...everybody is invited...

none of you Bob Stoops ass-lickers could look me in the eye in person and tell me this would be happening right now if we would have fired Bob for apathy in 2011 and Bobby Petrino was coaching this very team.

Get him the fuck out of the game. He's shitting down his leg.

A raping.

Baylor is going to beat us 110- 0

God damn the I looks fucking slow. Bell has fucking Jones disease. What The Fuck?

Best play call would be snapping the ball on first down, turn to the right and punt that fucker up into the stands...

Count me officially in the fuck Josh Hueple camp.

My favorite OU games are when they completely shit themselves.

Guess we'll be on Meltdown Time this week.

This will be the highlight of McCoys life. Thank you stoops for letting him live his dream. He's a horrible fucking QB with a spaghetti noodle arm.

what type of shit eating, cock-gobbling, snuff film am I watching. Mr. Hands would be proud.

We are all fucking idiots. Every single one of us thought we had this won before we stepped on the field. Fuck that. We should all know better. Fans, media, coaches, players....all fucking idiots.

We are totally fucking lost. This team looks brain dead.

As this point, We should all have a competition to see who makes it into the fucking Meltdown thread on rollbamaroll. Fuck this team. I need another shot.

Oh Landry, where art thou?

I think we only lose @baylor but will choke against a KSU or ISU. Then we will got to shiaty bowl and get upset by a lessor team and give their program a signature win.
Then we will pay Bob Stoops another $5 million and hope for next year.

Welp, I'm ready for my day after pill cause we just got raped. came in for the gangbang and wound up hand cuffed in a prison shower.

it's like a Trojan horse rape party

3rd and 20
Think I will just go watch porn....

Bob Stoops is a cuckold and his team reflects this.

Fuck big tex.....go electrical fire

Josh Heupel ruined is the anti Christ

if stoops does not onside kick this he is a pussy
a pussy that gets paid $5 million
That is some high priced pussy!!

Somebody go put a for sale sign in front of Golden Corral in Norman.

Looks like Landry bequeathed his happy feet to Bell

Are you fucking shitting me...most of our guys played well? Are you goddamn high?

Gotta give it to Texas. They came in hungry. We showed up likea bunch of prima donna trust fund fucks.

Josh hasn't even tried to run Bell on anything downhill. Fiarheuple.com

I am so full of Fucking rage at the Fucking coaching staff! they are like those motherfuckas standing by watching and doing nothing, as we get Fucking slammed up on the cold hard pin ball machine and and gang raped as loud mouthed hillbillies cheer it on. Jodie foster called , Sooner Nation, and she tipped her cap to us.

I'm going to go drink and kick the shit out of my dog

Alright, Mack Brown wet tshirt contest. The viewers are the winners.

Can we petition all the buffetts in Norman to ban Josh, maybe then he'll just quit.

The difference in the overall series is we have a much higher number of shit the bed games than tx.

Terrible performance. For the doom and gloomers, if you can't understand a rivalry game, then you probably are still young enough to be on your parents insurance. As for the sunshine pumpers, if you were in the overconfident camp, then you probably don't watch football. I'm the best fan ever, you all suck, and I'm going to mow my lawn.

Fuck this staff. Fuck Josh being as poor an excuse for an OC you can find. Fuck Mike for not knowing how to stop a team that can't do much more than run. And fuck Bob for supposedly being the guy in charge.

On the bright side............at least the ponies aren't getting all hot and tired.

Whorn friends texting me saying "fire bob stoops too". They ain't said squat for weeks, now they coming out the woodwork like hungry roaches. Fags!!!

GOD DAMN IT. WHAT THE FUCK. IS THIS REAL LIFE?

I'm gonna need more weed to get through this game

You should never fuck a stranger in the ass, Texas!!
NEVER FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS, TEXAS!!

God, I want to start drinking. Have to be at work in less than 90 minutes, though.
Fuck it, done watching. Will drink heavily tonight after work.

Josh Heupel should be anal raped .

I finally pulled the plug on defending Tony Romo, and thought about Stoops too, but I just realized something...why do I even fucking care about some millionaire who doesn't affect my life one iota financially, except put me in a pissy mood at least two or three weeks a year when I could avoid it? It's not time for Stoops to go. It's time for me to stop investing so much emotion in something that I can't control.

I heard Heupel gave a blamjam and a Rembrandt to Boren for this job.

Do you know Bob makes $100K a WEEK? This is what OU gets for it. Bob could buy my house in just over two weeks of "work". Yeah...fuck you too Bob.

I want to tip Josh Heupel over in a porta-potty.

Well after that raping we have to see if Mack or McCoy is the father.


Choke1_medium_medium

via cdn2.sbnation.com

Would have liked a block in the back, but I can't say shite when the RB fricks the mothers of the other 10 guys on the field before scoring easily

Any Mizzou fans interested in a trade? We'll hook you up with Isaiah Crowell's super secret meth recipe if you can hook us up with like 3 healthy ACLs.

I'd give up my girlfriend's toe if we can get a stop here

I was going to say you have to fucking catch that. Then I realized I didn't know who the player was to bitch at him. So I guess that's about right. Sigh.

You know what just fuck football

GODDAMMITFUCKEVERYTHING

Braves, Falcons, and now Dawgs. Can we just fucking win something. Jesus christ.

Georgia will have seven RBs I'll be comfortable seeing game time next year:
Gurley (JR), Marshall (JR), Green (SO), Douglas (SO), Turman (SO), Chubb (FR), Michel (FR).
Crowell seems so far in the past.
And all of them will probably have their legs crushed by a runaway bus.

Well, on the upside we're probably not going to another Capital One bowl this year.

Fuck you Neyland Stadium. Fuck you... Go to hell Tennessee

I................. I am.... I am... I don't even know.

I'm not due for my anti-depressant mess today yet. I need a triple dose today though...

God damn. This has been the most painful year in Georgia sports that I can remember. So much promise by all our teams only to have nothing but heartbreak. FUCKING FUCK

Gallery Furniture Bowl
Hey! Ask for the Wolfman!

Maybe we can play Purdue or Michigan State again, maybe put them all together and play the Purconigan State Badgemakers

******* UGA fans trip me out. I am sorry but not going to be nice anymore on here. ******* idiots were asking if we needed Gurley for this game. Yes we needed him idiot. He is the best player in CFB. You think a 3 ypc RB will get it done? Are you that ******* stupid. Grantham is the joke of the SEC, look outside of homer UGA Fans and you will see that everybody makes fun of him like a ******* retard. He is the joke of the SEC.

On this board ! What does trying to be politically correct
Do for you? Our defensive scheming and coaching sux?

$850k for last place def in sec... I can do that.

Grantham is making me miss Willie Martinez..

Can we do Granthem the way USC did their coach!!!!!!!!!!
He should not be allowed back on the Campus

Hard to top Willie but Grantham has done it.

I can't take many more games like this. I need a xanax and some blood pressure medication

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Someone else gets 40 points on us!!!!! We're just showing so much improvement this season from week to week

We saw this coming. The same problems haven't been addressed for a while now. Special teams, spotty o-line play and a crap defense have been problems for some reason richt has not or will not address it.

Have you noticed we burn Timeouts Early in the Game then not mention calling TO on a 3rd and 10 and on 4TH AND 10! Our defense is lost out there our LB's are SLOW!! I was there yesterday and I thought TG was gonna punch R.Wilson(who is awful)after the TD on the halfback pass.He stormed the field yelling in his earhole all the way to the sidelines. Floyd needs to be on the field MORE!! Our D-line is fine its the slow LB's and the secondary that SUCK!The babies on Defense are not getting BETTER in my BOOK!! Have we created Turnovers on Defense this year?

This defense is the most disgusting thing I've ever watched

We should hire Lane Kiffin as D-coordinator

Dear NFL....someone please come hire away the #dawgs DC. I hear he will help your team improve its 3rd down defense

B4 game, old black guy on campus is calling for tickets. Frat bros: "WHERE DA WHITE WOMEN AT AHHAHA!!" #racist #athensga

WOW!!! Just got blocked by Todd Grantham on twitter for questioning his defense. How pathetic!!! I've only got 9 followers!! Who cares????

If I was Richt: Hey Grantham, remember when our defense didn't suck in that game this year? Yeah, me neither.

I'm tired of the defense getting Sanduskied every week. Grantham 'a gotta go.

Todd Grantham is seriously a retard. Gets paid a TON, and our defense sucks.

Todd Grantham pack your shit and do #Georgia a favor and get the hell outta Athens!!!!!!

IM SO FUCKING SICK OF THIS POP WARNER ASS DEFENSE BRUH. GRANTHAM U SUCK NIGGA. SOFT ASS MAXI PAD ASS DEFENSE WE GOT

UGA defense looks confused on every snap. Grantham must be drinking with Bobo

Eminemhigh_medium

via assets.sbnation.com

This game makes me want to slam my dick in my car door.

Can we leave Borges at the airport?

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCKING CHRIST HELL IS GOING ON HERE!? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!

FUCK BUFFALO WILD WINGS THIS IS HORSE SHIT

Never a good sign if Matt Millen is agreeing with your playcalling.

Fitz went more than 3 yards...EVERYBODY CELEBRATE!!

Beyond abysmal play calling, a terribly coached quarterback who cannot make good decisions, terrible time management, and a ranking we did not deserve. I am disgusted, but I hope this is a wake up call.
EDIT: On another note, I am going to go buy all the alcohol I can with my savings and drown myself.

Okay Gibby, can i call you Gibby? Gibby listen up, this is important. I need a made field goal here. I don't care what girls you have to think of to get it done, I would really appreciate it. Thank you.
Edit: fuck...

Imagine how Devin is going to play against the Buckeyes. Just picture that for one moment and try not to cry

Fuck off Al Borges.

AL BORGES. STOP FUCKING CALLING RUN, RUN, PASS. HOLY FUCKING CHRIST DOES YOUR ENORMOUS QUANTITY OF FAT IMPEDE BLOOD FLOW TO YOUR BRAIN?

EDIT: WHO THE FUCK CALLS AN INSIDE SCREEN?

I think, I think we'll be able to get bowl eligible this year.

Fuck, have the QB kick the next one...

Well fuck, i lied, god damnit, fuck fitgeral toussaint, fuck brady hokes conservative play calling, what the mother fuck, the handed us the game twice, this had got to be the worse undefeated team ever

it's like I want to laugh and cry at the same time

Oh shut the fuck up Millen

I love the play calling its a pile of shit.

Why do I care so much about football?

Lewan out, Gardner playing like a retarded labradoodle, Borges pretty much livetweeting his playcalls, whatever. Go Blue.

I don't want to do this anymore.

Fuck this shit, this is beyond disgusting. Ive been plagued with shitty football aside from the ND game and im sick of it

It's ok. It's ok. We're purposely giving them the lead so that... No...No. Thats not how winning works.. I have no IDEA WHAT THE FUCK WE'RE DOING!

What a debacle. Two awful picks. Line looks terrible. I can't watch this shit anymore.

Devin get's that snap off and the game is FUCKING OVER. You MUST bleed the clock you fucking idiot!

Damn it! We need to fucking fire Borges! The man simply sucks ass. And while we are at how about we put Shane in the game and see what he can do. I am sick of this shit.

We've been saying "next year" since 2008.

All I look forward to is watching michigan games on the weekend. I feel like I just went through a redman scenario after that one...

Not to be personal
But.....we do have the fattest coaches in college

I'm going to go an punch myself in the nuts for a while

Fuckfuckfuckfuck a fucking duck!

There's one for the molesters. Got to give them credit.

I don't know what to do with my hands right now
Like we aren't undefeated anymore. What now?

And I was planning on knocking out my homework tonight
But now I'm just gonna lie facedown in bed for the rest of my life

Sad-arkansas-fan_medium

via cdn0.sbnation.com

You fuckhead. Why even risk that hit? Dumbass.

Horrible coverage. What the fuck was 49 doing? Fuck the god damn zone, if there's nobody around you, FIND SOMEBODY. Don't just stand there, he ran right in front of you.

3rd and long? Let's run some crazy blitz to totally fuck up and let them score.

is it track season yet? Atleast I think Ark still has a powerhouse track team.

Well, at least there's always next week, let me just check the schedule...
Oh. Oh god.

WHY DO WE SUCK SO MUCH DICK

Jen Bielema is the woman of my dreams.

Please football Jeebus, can we go back to running the ball? We have 40ish minutes left, STOP THROWING THE FUCKING BALL SO GODDAMN MUCH!!! FUCKKK

I've got to get fucked up today.

good god what a dumpster fire.

What did I say earlier about Allen sucking gazelle dick and he guarantees 3 straight 3 and outs after he throws a pick?
Oh, fucking a. This team will be the death of me.

Committing suicide BRB

This doesn't change shit, Andre. We're not going to do dick with the ball.

Can we just let the clock run for the rest of the game and preferably the rest of the season? Our football team seems to exist only to give Jen Bielema something to Tweet about other than coffee and her dogs. Not seeing any reason to #ThrowTheA.

Can we get a "Clowney" drinking game going? I think I would be dead by the end of the first half.

lol
EDIT: fucking kill me

Our entire offensive gameplan seems to be "piss off Clowney". At least we're succeeding there.

I'm done. Will give this team one more shot, next year, and if i don't see results, that's it. I don't want to be like a lot of you old timers that have stuck around for "next year" all my life. I don't owe this program anything. If you can't put a product on the field with the resources this state gives it, dissolve the program and put it to something useful.

Was going to wait until after the game to pop a top........changed my mind.

Tired of hearing how this is Petrino's fault when he's been gone for a year and a half and was winning up until we were dumb enough to can him.

Woooooo hoooooooo!!! We getting rolled in Fayettenam!!!

Look at the bright side. When we hit 9 losses we 'll have paid this staff $722,222 per loss. That's not so bad!

I hate when the hogs play early... Just kills my day. Also kills my enjoyment of watching football the rest of the day....

Can we just cancel the rest of the season

Going to be the worst beating of the season to date. Well, until next week anyway.

Grab your lube guys, we're gonna need it.

We should just forfeit next week. Do you think our players really think they can win or even compete?

Brandon Allen couldn't hold Casey Dicks jock strap.

4-12 for 30 yards. I think I could take an FCS team, put the difficulty level on Heisman, jack-up all the CPU defensive sliders and put the Human sliders all at 0, and still manage to do better than that against Alabama.

BB may lose that hot wife to the Geico Insurance pig if this team don't start looking better.

We would be winning this game with Petrino.

this team is no better today than last years . we have NO offense and the Defense can't stop a toilet

Praise the lord and call Tyson to buy these idiots out their contracts. Somebody please pull the pin and blow this program off the face of the map so we can go back to the sugar bowl next year. Maybe Nutt will come back. I loved his integrity!

You know the really sad part is Malzan is gonna do his best to hang 100 on us, and I'm not to sure we can stop him!

At this rate, the Crow population in Arkansas may become endangered.
I STOOD RIGHT UP AND ATE MY FILL AFTER THE A&M GAME EVEN THOUGH WE DIDN'T WIN, BUT WE DID PLAY WELL. WHERE IS THE (ALLS WELL CLAN) TODAY. CROW'S A COOKIN.

Watching this team is more painful than a trip to the dentist. At least there I can get Novacaine and Nitrous Oxide to numb me.


Fattestorangeever_medium

via assets.sbnation.com

"Hey, can I get a little time to pass, guys?" - Tyler Murphy
"LOL. Best we can do is a half-a-second, bro." - UF's o-line

IM NOT ASKING YOU TO WIN IM ASKING YOU TO PLAY LIKE THATS YOUR FUCKING GOAL!

GTFO TRACY AND YOUR STUPID HASHTAG SHIT

Do I look like a give a fuck about your twitter account! No! I give a fuck about MY TEAM NOT THROWING THE GODDAMN BALL AND FAILING TO CAPITALIZE ON A STRING OF DUMB PENALTIES FROM LSU! FUCK!!!!!!!

I'm done. Going off to get drunk. Fuck this line. Fuck Pease's playcalling.

Oh and super secret silver-lining thing #4: Our loss lowers Miami's already putrid strength of schedule. HA! Fuck you, Harricunts!

Why the hell did LSU's defense decide to stop sucking this week?? =/

Game over. Offensive Line lost us this game. They fucking blow ass.

Maybe someone should tell Muschamp that he's not just a coordinator anymore and he needs to worry about his fucking offense.

A QB pissing off the defenses best pass rusher. I'm sure that's a good idea...

goddamn motherfucking son of a bitch. fucking stupid penalties

i swear to god our defense is ass at tackling. i count like 3 tackles a game that our defense DOESNT ALLOW a guy to break off another 4 yards.

WHY THE FUCK ARE WE BEATING OUR SELVES.
DISCIPLINE. DISCIPLINE. DISCIPLINE.
YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.

Welp. that's the game. can't kick a FG now. can't do anything. WHO THE FUCK IS HUMPHRIES BLOCKING

Wow that's game. Fuck our offensive line. Fuck every single guy on there.

whatever. fuck it. fuck everything

Chaz Green with a torn ACL is better than every guy on that line except for a healthy halapio.
Fucking pitiful.
Fuck Brett Pease. Fuck whoever is our O-line coach

verne is so god damn stupid
this game does not have a direct impact on this game. we can lose to LSU and still go onto the SEC Championship. You fucking retard

Oh Chris Leak, your eyes are so dreamy.

Hunter has damn go-go gadget arms.

I'm really lucky that I came home this weekend and that there is not a bottle of alcohol near me, if I did I'd probably be watching this game in the hospital.

FUCK YOU HUMPHRIES YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU FUCKING DOING

FUUUUCCCCKKKK!
GODDAMN THIS LINE! FUCK! FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER

Pease. This is not the big fucking 12, or where ever the fuck boise state is from.
Stop running gimmicks.

I would love for some optimistic shit for brains try and tell me that Pease isnt the worst offensive coordinator that the university of florida has ever had coach for them.

fucking fuck ref. Are you fucking kidding me. How do you miss that shit. Geaux fuck your cousin

god this defense is infuriating to watch. you know what they are capable of but HOLY FUCKING GOD DAMN BITCH SHIT LEARN TO FUCKING GOD DAMN TACKLE. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK

God, our fans on here complain a lot. No wonder everyone fucking hates us...

At least i can fix my optimism about the georgia game. i thought we might actually beat them this year.....and then today happened. Gurley is going to shit down this defenses throat.

Injured players? Check
Stupid Penalties? Check
Poor clock management? Check
I give you Florida football ladies and gentlemen.

9 throws? Is Mettenberger going to have to grope a bitch?

TE was wide open. But Murphy got raped before he could even look downfield

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