NSFW: It's Meltdown Time!

John David Mercer-USA TODAY Spor

This week's edition of our shameless revelry in the misery of others.

Big games usually spark big meltdowns, and this week did not disappoint in that regard. As usual, this post is not suitable for work, your mother, or small children. It contains language that would make a sailor blush, racism, and homophobia along with graphic descriptions of various sexual activities and much more. If any of these things bother you I would suggest reading no further. You have been warned.

So, here's what we learned this week. Oregon fans were quite sad to have their hopes dashed again but they were generally too stoned to get too mad about it. LSU asses are quitting en masse right now, some of them looking to fire Miles, others looking to bolt the conference since Bama's allowed to cheat at everything, a few others willing to wait for Saban to leave or retire for LSU to become a contender in the SEC again. As far as Oklahoma goes, what can you say? Their coaches are apparently obese and incompetent, and football just seems like prison sex to them. A creative bunch to be sure. Enjoy.

Oregonnooo_medium_medium

via cdn2.sbnation.com


HELLO
HOLIDAY BOWL. GOODBYE BCS.

FUCK MC GLASS FACE

IVE SWITCHED TO OXYCONTIN

I'm going to have to switch to my alt personality
so that I can resume my normal life. My other one is now dead.

I WANT OHIO STATE.

CAN ANY OF THOSE KENYAN KIDS COME FINISH THE GAME FOR OUR TEAM
WOULD PROBABLY SUCK LESS

Who else wants to lead a lynch mob and hunt down GLasses mcfuckface


I dared to hope... I am a cursed sports fan. I convinced myself it was OK to be confident. I eff'd Juju, and I now I crashed back to the reality that the sport I enjoy watching so much is so unforgiving just like Juju. We have one bad game; we are not forgiven. MY FUCKING HELL I CAN'T WAIT FOR A PLAYOFF....SO I CAN TRULY SAY FUCK YOU JUJU! We'll do it ourself..

All I want to do is cry. Im drunk. But Oregon for life man, I love youuu

Changing channels...watching "Macklemore's Big Surprise"

Why the FUCK would you have unarguably the WORST ref in football officiate the biggest game of the YEAR?!
THE FUCK

Someone beat Bama.

I haven't been paying too much attention, who do we get to blow out in a pity bowl game?

COME ON ASSHOLES WRAP UP
God damn, the Ducks tackle like it's fucking high school.

I hope the people who bought/sold the "We Want Bama" shirts feel really fucking stupid right now. Even ESPN called them out.

I feel like crying too and I'm just a drunk guy on a couch.

Now everyone just shut up and let me disappear into hard liquor and dreams...
Ssshhhhhh no sound.....
Just dreams now

Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much about sports.

My entire happiness is based on this football team. Someone kill me, please.

Shaw looks smug as fuck and for good reason.

We have secretly replaced the Oregon Ducks with the South Eugene Axemen. Let's see if anyone can tell the difference....

Open door, clear throat FUCK!!! leave

I've been praying for five years, man. God forsook even Tebow. I don't know if he hears our prayers anymore.

They just fucked Marcus' knee to get a fumble.
Fuck Stanford to death.

I hate Stanford more than washington as well
Fuck everything. I'm not watching/reading any sports news for years.

What the fuck? Go fucking kill yourself fuck face

Gilligan's Island is on the Me Channel
I can't handle the truth

Do we still want Bama?
I mean seriously, we couldn't beat Auburn right now

what's going on? somebody hold me i'm confused and scared

Trex_medium_medium

via cdn2.sbnation.com

At least I'll be taking a well needed break from social media. Fucking Bama. Fuck. Not to get too deep, but I'm pretty sure that's a direct quote from Sartre.

Bama Perceived Invincibility Syndrome
I'm coining that term.

Fuck this defense, they held us back from any sort of chance at a BCS Bowl. Cock Bowl here we come.

BAMA owns us....it is what it is....
as long as Saban is there they will continue to own us...

i feel like I am watching my girl kiss another guy....

Defense is getting PUNKED
the decline looks real and it's a sad thing to watch...our best years ruined by JJ...

we had some almost great teams...only to be sabotaged by Jordan Jefferson. Now we will be a mediocre program again for awhile...recruiting has been abysmal for 2 years and Bama just keeps building...Saban to Texas would be the best thing to happen to LSU...

Fuck You Les miles for losing to Saban. Fuck you in the goat ass

Fuck this O line. You completely give up and you get Zach injured.

Leave the SEC. We failed in lots of areas but watching yet again as Johnson is tackled, Hunter is grabbed like he's at a prom, targeting not called when Landon hit Landry, no PI when ODB was ran over in the endzone, etc, etc, etc. In a clean game, we maybe still lose, but it's beyond that now - it is a matter of player safety. You can understand players giving up when you aren't protected or allowed to win.

Kills me to say it...but just a matter of how much damage at this point Saban does before he leaves. Clear Miles is close, but inferior. If he leaves in next 2 years, better for us, but if he stays another 3-5, can't see us coming close in either recruiting, & therefore, play.

Doesnt matter what Bama does...everything goes right for them...
everything...

We can't win this game while that office is in Birmingham. #famisjameis

Can't win when the refs are in their back pocket. League office has to move. I hate this conference.

Refs + Bama = too much
Fuck the sec ......

Loston tackles like a fucking bitch

Bama OL doesn't even try to pretend they're not holding. They know it won't get called

The silver lining? We may not lose in the last second for once

Freak calls Bama soft, they proceed to push our shit in.

Hey les how does it feel to get bitch slapped by nick again. Pathetic.

This game is over. See you next year so we can get out ass whipped on national tv again.

this is fucking sick. Les better pull a rabbit out his ass soon.

if they aren't gonna call holding then we won't stop them. cant stop them on the 3 plays they didnt hold

As much as I love cheering for SEC teams, I hope in my heart of hearts that somebody, preferably FSU wins out and takes Bama down. It is not good for college football, the SEC, or LSU in general for Bama to win another title. Parity is the best thing for sport and parity does not currently exist (if it ever existed). At least other programs and fanbases enjoy wins for what they are, as opposed to the bammer robots who take the win and merely move on to the conquest because every games counts equally. This removal of emotion from the game, let's call it Vulcanization, is what I hate about the "process" and is the reason why the rest of the USA should hope that it eventually dies an awful death. My prayer tonight will be "dear baby Jesus, please let Mack Brown lose the rest of his games so that UT will buy what little is left of Saban's soul and use it to destroy the remainder of evil in the world."

LSU makes mistakes in big games.
Bama doesn't.They are better. Better players. Better coach. Better recruiters. Better program. it was fun while it lasted.

The nice thing about this loss is we can quit wondering which BCS or big name bowl we might get. Now with aTm yet to play and Arky, we can start wondering IF we go bowling at all.

Can't wait for those ticket price increases for next year!

Please miles just leave

Its over. Turn the lights out. Bring in the bull dozers and turn this place into a parking lot ...

When Zach Nflsecondstringenberger reverts back to staring down his primary receiver, drives die.

We are losing to a more talented, better coached team. Wait till either les or Saban leaves and we can revisit our chances.

Well...being elite was nice while it lasted. Back to mediocrity.

This team has completely quit. I will be shocked if we win another game this year. This is a low character team. Wow, they have gone full thug now.

They didn't even mention the posssibility of a targeting on bama earlier when they speared us, but cum on themselves when lsu does it. Fucking assholes.

This is the first time I've ever lost hope on our team... im sorry posi-tigers.. im going to the dark side

We could not win a street fight against a mini-van full of nuns.

But Miles is the greatest coach in LSU History Beat by Ole Miss back ups. What can you say about that one Alleva??

Now, it's a B-L-O-W-O-U-T.

Two tacklers on a fb. We couldn't stop that? Really? Fuck it. Our fb couldn't score with just the goalline in front.

He is a nice guy who runs a loose, fun operation. That draws a certain kind of kid. Not champions. He is becoming an embarrassment. I think it is time for the Alums to demand something else.

gonna burn my hat take off my car plate and give away my shirts

I would like to thank Simon Montgomery minter and all of the other tigrs who left their team inths state so they could be on practtice squad somewhere

I hope FSU rolls the shit out these ASSholes!!!!! Fuck Bama!!!!!

Only getting worse Bama is about to raid our state this year

NIck Saban needs to be ball racked

saban being a dick blitzing with 2 min left.

Yep, this is looking just like the Mike Archer/Curley years. We look utterly craptastic. Our coaches are horrible and now we just destroyed Zach's hope of an NFL career.

What a way to end it. Fuck this team

Florida State will have something to say about 3 in a row...

Good luck at Texas Nick!

Born and raised in Baton Rouge. Tiger fan all my life. I simply don't want miles representing my school. He diminishes my degree hes so terrible. If I was a Bama fan I would want Miles to coach LSU another 100 years...

I hate them sonnnnnnnooofabitches so goddamn much!!!!

McCarron speaks so coherently. Wish we had that somewhere.

NFL ARM, NFL RECEIVERS. LONG, THICK NFL COCKS ON ALL THESE FINE GENTLEMEN TODAY.

GOD. FUCKING. BULL. FUCKING. SHIT. BRICKS. BITCHES. FUCKING. WHORE. CUNTS. OHMYFUCKINGGODNO.
Edit, we just had a beautiful drive to fumble in the endzone. FUCK.

ALL ABOARD THE TJ YELDON EXPRESS, NOW BOARDING SHITTY LSU DEFENDERS, NEXT STOP A DISAPPOINTING AND RAINY MIDNIGHT BUS RIDE DOWN I-10

He will probably take them for ice cream. This team knows nothing about pride or character. This is a very, very soft team with a low moral threshold. I have supported Miles his entire time but this was an absolute shambles. he needs to go.

WHAT WE SAW TONIGHT WAS A DISGRACE. GO PUT ON YOUR LSU CHEERLEADER OUTFIT. IF YOU CANT SEE IT - YOU DONT UNDERSTAND FOOTBALL AND I DON'T HAVE THE TIME OR THE PATIENCE TO EXPLAIN IT TO SOMEONE WHI CAN'T RECOGNIZE AN OBVIOUS LOSER. HE HAS 100% LOST THE TEAM.....

If the idiots in our fan base want to call it being a "negatiger" then sign me the fuck up if it means I don't ever want to see hear shit like this fucking season again. Fuck all you blind assholes who try to justify this. We lost to OLE FUCKING MISS and get embarrassed by Bama. I'm off the Miles wagon.

Saban blitzing with 2 minutes left. Was he intentionally trying to hurt Mett? Maybe not, but he was purposely trying to embarrass LSU.

OUR TALENT SMOKES DOPE, LEAVES EARLY, SUCKER PUNCH PEOPLE AROUND TOWN, KICK PEOPLE WHILE THEIR DOWN ON THE GROUND, AND ABSOLUTELY QUITS IN A HIGH PROFILE GAME WITH THE ENTIRE NATION WATCHING. The entire country knows the problem is Miles - except those on here who would sail the Titanic with Captain Les Miles.

This fan base needs to wake the fuck up. We are in the middle of the conference right now. Texas AM has the resources to supplant us as the comfortable second best to Bama that all the old timers are happy with. This is the time to panic.

Sadly with a fan base that can't recognize a loser this will get worse. I guess ill "crawl back in my hole " as some of you suggested. Its better then sucking on Les Miles cock. Enjoy. All of you can apologize later. I wont hold it against y'all. Football and leadership are complicated and obviously you guys just started learning. Also, maybe some of you are sadists and you like being rammed by Saban year in year out. Bring out the gimp.

This morining it is all Bama and highlights and no highlights of FSU. It is maddening at times the gloating over Bama. And no, it is not jealousy just fact. I do not remember even with Nick Saban as coach LSU being penalty free like Bama stays all the time. There is more to it than just being well disciplined.

Out coached played and classes wonder why Sabin gets all our top players


Baylorhit_medium

via cdn3.sbnation.com


Hopefully we will at least get invited to the Waffle House of downtown Cleveland Smothered and Covered flu shot awareness bowl.

ALRIGHT MOTHER FUCKERS HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO.
You're going to find a heavy object and beat me mercilessly on the head until I forget there is a sport called football.

Broke huddle with 12 you stupid mother fucker outsmarting yourself. You ASSHOLE!
Fuck you Josh pull your head out of your ass

I wish Hurpel would stop calling passes, wide running plays, runs up the middle, QB run plays, reverses, and screens. Stop Hurpel! Call something our guys can execute! Gah!

We fucking look like a fucking junior high team with a fucking retard as OC.

Bob is about to fucking have an aneurism. If Josh were within swinging distance, he'd be dead right now.

Holy mother of cluster fucks. Our offense has no coordination. Someone put the control down and left it.

Fuck you Lyce Pussy, you fucking dough-boy QB.

Hell, the Branch Davidians put up a better fight in Waco than us...

So much fuckery .. I just can't take it ..this game is hurting my brain and my heart

I'm 5 Martini's in....I've thrown most of the olives somewhere in the living room

I'd have more pleasure putting my dick in a running blender...and when I say "my dick" I mean a neighborhood cat..

And the ass rape begins....

Anyone else hope that Mike Stoops beats Herple's ass in the lockerroom?

If we can score here and then we get the ball at the 2nd half....oh fuck it, not going to happen,,,

Fuck Josh Heuple. Fuck this overpaid coaching staff. Bob Stoops has become Mack Brown

You think Josh leaves the pressbox for halftime? Maybe if theres an elevator and a concession stand on the way.

Will Stoops even be questioned after this shit show? Our local media are pussies and afraid of him. He needs to feel a bit of a hot seat.

Our team are just a bunch of b.i,t.c.h.e.s

If Joe C. doesn't protest these dick-sucking piece of shit officials, he will officially be the biggest pussy in the Big 12. Baylor is a tough enough team without the refs smoking their poles on every play.

They going to score again. We are the Miss St of the Big12 now....officially

We have become...Baylor.

Another up and coming program makes it's name against Bob. Bob the kingmaker.....

It should've been 10-5 at half, instead we shit our pants. This is NOT Oklahoma Football.

Art Briles is a fudge packer.

OK Josh. 10 seconds left. Please take a knee then GO JUMP OFF A FUCKING BRIDGE!

I need a hole to crawl into. Preferably a warm one.

GOD DAMNIT FUCK YOU JOSH HEUPLE FUCK YOU BLAKE BELL FUCK YOU BOB STOOPS FUCK YOU JOE CASTIGLIONE FUCK YOU DAVID BOREN FUCK YOU BOOSTERS FUCK YOU SEASON TICKET HOLDERS FUCK YOU ALUMNI FUCK YOU STUDENTS FUCK YOU BAND FUCK YOU PEOPLE WHO BOUGHT SINGLE GAME TICKETS ON STUBHUB FUCK YOU TAXPAYERS FUCK YOU VOTERS FUCK YOU OKLAHOMA AND THANKS OBAMA

Honestly I hope they both shut us out. That's about the only way the 5million dollar fucker is gonna fire this piece of offensive shit.

Is there any porn on? I need something less disgusting to watch.

You assholes could get Josh in as Governor, then he could fuck up the whole state.

Our offense fucking blows hard!!! Fuck any of you who bash Landry. We will never amount to a pile of shit as long as we keep doing what we are doing. Fuck you if you don't like this post.

This is what you get with an offensive coordinator in training. Fuck Stoops for promoting an unknown commodity. Fuck Heupel for being so god damned retarded.

Seriously, I want beat the shit out of Josh Heupel with my fists

"Get the damn donut out of your mouth and call a fucking play Josh"

This game is like hardcore porn. Oklahoma is the women that gets fucked in every hole.

It is not Josh's fault alone. Our QB has contracted the habit of looking great one play, then looking terminal the next -- or the "Landry Jones Syndrome," if you will.

Is it too late to hire an up and coming black coach and move to the SEC ?

Baylor fans doing the "bear claw", heupel hypnotized and drueling

Seastrunk with tightness in the groin? No worries, we are experience loosening in our anuses...

Dear God make make me a bird so I can fly far...far far away...

FUJH can stick play calling up his fucking ass. Bob can stick his OC up his fucking ass.

found a solution to the problem. Drink more alcohol, turn to the Stanford game, turn down the volume and pretend Stanford is OU. If you are drunk enough, the colors kinda match.

I know the difference Baylors QB isn't a pussy.

Can we hire Stanford's coaches and get rid of these doughnut chasers?

Jesus doesn't want anything to do with this team

Baylor just pulled the dildo out of our ass and slapped us in the face with it....

I hope Petty dies.

I may take some painkillers tonight,

Wide fucking open. I hope stoops gets donkey punched in the ass this week by the media. He gets paid enough to take this shit. Big time donors need to threaten to pull their donations. Shit needs happen and fast.

hydrocodone has an amazing calming effect...Thank you Dr. M

Hit us again, Ike... And next time put some STANK on it!

My 11 year old asked me if we were going to lose to Baylor for the 2nd time since Jesus was on earth.

I predict Alabama will win 10 more NCs before we win #8. I'm sick of those fuckers.
And for some reason, evertime I say that or something similar my anus starts to hurt.

Bob's so used to getting ass raped, he's been taking it in the ass all day from Carol's Pringles can sized strapon.

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