NSFW: It's Meltdown Time! NSD Special Edition

Tejas fans has a sad. - Cooper Neill

A special edition of our shameless revelry in the misery of others. This week we focus on our friends from Austin and West Georgia as both were terribly upset over losing prior commitments to Bama. What follows is in no way suitable for work or children whatsoever. If you are offended by swearing, explicit sexual humor, etc. etc. read no further. You have been warned. Huge shoutout to rivaled and Real Dangeresque for helping to provide this week's material.

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I haven't. I remember this time last year the breaking news of the morning was Shiro possibly flipping to us. What a difference another $#@!ty year makes. $#@! you Mack Brown.
Ole Miss pulling in what they did is pretty entertaining, because the SEC West is going to be a fishhooking eye gouging dogpile of cheating. This just accelerates the arms race.
$ec $ec $ec
WOOHOOO! No more February Championships! Good job, Mack. Burn it down.
Yeah, as $#@!tty as Auburn was this yr, they have 8 in ESPN 300 and just signed the #2 DT. Depressing
Mack is such a $#@!ty X's and O's coach that if he can no longer recruit the best players he's absolutely done.
If Mack no longer recruits like he has, why the $#@! is he still here? Here's to another Alamo Bowl and firing of Mack.
We have the 347th ranked DL class in the country. Go Diaz. Not bad for the 547th ranked defensive coordinator in the country
As long as we have _iaz we don't need defensive players, they serve no purpose. When a player's out of position, it doesn't matter if he's a 5-star or a walkon. Advantage, Texas.
Mack is such a $#@!ing piece of $#@!. God I $#@!ing hate his guts.
There is no Mack Brown Curse. Mack Brown IS the curse.
No worries, 5+ decommits is not a sign of anything...carry on, nothing to see here guys...We got 15 good kids from good families coming to a family atmosphere that focuses on winning and development...and our football academic advisor is at the top of his field so your child will have huge chance for success in the classroom as well. Go $#@! yourself mack.
OU has 7 defensive lineman signed and 6 are from the state of Texas. The brass doesn't see the issues here then they are at serious risk of not only losing their program but losing their own jobs. Tired of watching this slow motion train wreck take place.
A'shawn: Don’t let the door hit you in the butt. At Texas you could have been a contributor. At Alabama you’ll get lost in the shuffle.
Remember when you didn't think it could get worse after hearing about Major, well it got worse
$#@!in $#@! $#@! mother $#@!er.................
is there any al qeuada $#@!s living near tuscaloosa
Fantastic day for MBTF®. Time to start drinking.
$#@! all of the old boy $#@!s who are letting this $#@!ing program go man tits up.
Thanks Aggy. You and your SECSEC. Stupid $#@!s.
It's truly amazing to chart the divergent patterns that Texas and Alabama have taken since Colt left the MNC game in 2010. We're so $#@!ed.
$#@! Mack Brown. $#@! him straight to hell.
Bad news is 2014 is a bad year for DL recruits in Texas. Good news is we're not the favorites to land any of those guys anyways
Well $#@!. Headed for the wet bar.
I just have no $#@!ing idea how you can strike out on every $#@!ing dline prospect in the state for 2013. Especially when you know the cupboard is bare in 2014. I just hate this $#@!ing program so much right now.
Prob can't read or write anyway. He will fit right in at Bama
Hey, you already lured us into that Bama troll fest Those people are mean. I don’t like them. ;-)
Their football program has a well earned reputation, unfortunately, so do their fans. What a bunch of A-holes! They steal a five star recruit from us and then to bash the kid that they took (man boobs, over rated because Texas HS football competition sucks, etc.). I would venture to bet that the Alabama football fanbase has one of the lowest percentages of college graduates of any school in the country. Arrogant, stupid, and rude.
A’Shawn doesn’t care about academics. A’Shawn doesn’t care about the job market in Austin. A’Shawn cares only about the tradition of current national championships. A’Shawn knows that Mack will be gone from Texas before Saban is gone from ‘Bama, as far as age is the factor. A’Shawn doesn’t understand this concept at all, obviously. You are right but he is just a bandwagonning potential Alabama signee and doesn’t have the loyalty to play for his home team nor the appreciation for wanting to build something great rather than jumping on the bandwagon.

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Ok. you can doubt no more that ESPN is TOTALLY in Alabamas hip pocket. Montravious Adams….our second biggest get, and the biggest undecided get goes on TV to announce Auburn as his school and right after they talk to him, ESPN does a segment with Saban.!!?? WTF??? If something good happens to Auburn, it appears that Saban has it in his contract with ESPN to get equal time, with his crystal ball in the background, to talk up HIS program!! I am friggin furious!
Reuben Foster just signed with Alabama. 2nd comming of Brent Calloway.
Bet Saban gave him that hat personally. Now Ol’ Reub can put it on ebay and sell it to the Updyke bammers for big $$$.
Please, please, please, we ALLL know whats going on here. Rueben is on his last leg of the "show me the money" tour. He’s Trooper’s boy and we all know he came to Auburn under very suspicious circumstances, at least enough to draw NCAA scrutiny, after he decommitted from Bama. Then he got that big Auburn tat….which is EXACTLY what I would’ve done if I had no job and had a toddler at home, and I came into about $500 bucks. Then of course when Trooper is shown the door, that probably severed whatever "arrangement" the two had for coming to Auburn, which precipitated all the antics that have occured since. I have seen this movie a few times now, so I’ll bring you up to speed on how the screenplay goes, and as most screenplays go it has two drafts. Draft 1: Rueben struggles with his decision, he gets on TV with mama and his baby and sits at the table with hats of Auburn, Bama, and UGA. He fidgets with them, picks up the UGA hat, puts it down, then looks at the Auburn hat but picks up the Bama hat, makes sure the bill is straight, then puts it down, goes to pick up the Auburn hat and then immediatley plants the Bama hat on his hat and says ROLL TIDE! Rueben, baby and Mama go to Tuscaloosa, where Mama gets a new job making about $80k, enough to support baby. Rueben sits on the bench for the better part of 3 years after redshirting, starts his Junior year at 6’3″ 260 rock hard pounds and plays lights out All America ball for the Tide for two years. Rueben enters the draft and is a top 10 pick with Mama and 4th grader in tow. Draft 2: Rueben fidgets with the Bama hat puts it down and picks up the Auburn hat and puts it firmly on his head, mama and baby cry with him as he signs at Auburn. Everybody at Auburn is elated. In May, its found that Rueben isn’t going to make his grades and he has to go the Juco route. Two years later he signs with Oklahoma. He never plays a down for Auburn. Or worse, he gets investigated and we get nailed for violations. Cut its a wrap. Trust me, if we sign this kid, it won’t end up working out good for us. He’ll work out fine for the Turd, just not us. Thats not how these types of high-drama signings work. By all accounts he is "supposedly" a good kid, but the klaxxons are ringing in my ears about him and as I flail my arms all about, all I can say is "DANGER GUS MALZAHN!!…DANGER!!"
Best of luck Reuben! Your 15 minutes of fame are over until you are at least a junior. And that is only if you get lucky and get to hang around until then. I am betting that you aren’t going to make it… let’s be honest, the odds are NOT in your favor.I hope your new friends and fans enjoy your AUBURN tat. That is a good way to make friends! You will be different! Stand out in a crowd! LOL.
Heard a great conspiracy theory: Rube was committed to Bama all along, he was just acting as a dbl agent to try to get Trooper to offer something under the table. Tattoo was a bit over the top for that.
I heard Reese offered him a cupcake, Reuben declined, and it escalated to a pillow fight.
When someone said that Dismuskes said "renege" instead of the N-word, and that's what happened, I immediately thought "There's no way Reese knows what renege means or how to use it properly"
The only thing this shite show is missing is Fbaum. I bet he's weeping in Saban's lap over not being on the air to really stir the pot
I am sure he will enjoy his time in Tuscaloosa. His mother and child will soon move closer to them. It is how it works... One Questions for the ATPB crowd... it was widely reported by Bama fans that Trooper was dirty, that we illegally got Foster to move to Auburn, yada, yada, yada... wouldn't that make him ineligible at Bama?
Heard from a friend who lives in Auburn a few minutes ago that Foster has never had a car while he's been in Auburn, UNTIL TODAY - he's driving a brand new Dodge Charger this morning... guess his Mom's new job at the Mercedes Plant (which hasn't started yet) allowed her to get him a new car.... who knows???
Even if you have a picture, NOTHING-I repeat NOTHING will be done about it as long as Emmert sits his fat *** in the seat of the ncaa's president's office-NOTHING!!
He's being sequestered by creepy old men in a beach condo until bammer gets his signed loi. Some might consider this a hostage situation, but not bammers.
Hope his tatt is a big hit with his teammates.
Hey bama.... You have quickly become the country's most hated team... Kiss that...
Heard 2 bammer a talking recruiting 2-3 days ago and Foster Came up. This was before the official visit and people were thinking he might still come to AU. One guy asked the other where he thought he would end up and the other said at Auburn in jail. But then they got to talking about how he needs Sabans discipline. Blah blah blah. So if a kid goes to Auburn, he is a thug and just waiting for jail and if he goes to Spuat, he gets the needed discipline!!! What hypocrites these folks are. cheaters and people that love cheaters every one of them!!!
In other news, Foster's numbers in his bank account increases, as does his wardrobe and number of vehicles.
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