TRUNKATION: What you need to know about Texas A&M

Ricky explains what the hell *this* is about, and provides the shorthand visuals you'll need to retain key information for the showdown at the Hate Barn.

From: RBR Command Center
To: Ricky Muncie
Subject: TRUNKATION update

Hi Ricky.

As you know, we need to be extremely careful with your posts moving forward. I know it's not your fault, JTadpole jumped in with that Saban to Texas piece, but man, we got hammered on that.

Our fan base, as a whole, can take a joke. But for whatever reason, our readership places a level of trust in RBR that we can't afford to break. No matter how funny the idea.

So, do what you can to tone down Trunkation, okay?

As always, Roll Tide!

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From: Ricky Muncie
To: RBR Command Center
Subject: Re: TRUNKATION update

Oh, you mean that little post that was based on the same premise found in Tweets by Paul Finebaum and yours truly and others? The one that generated nearly 100,000 page views a day for a three day period? The post that was shared on Facebook more than 23,000 times, and was picked up by Sports Illustrated?

Saban_to_texas_si_medium
Yeah, we sure don't need to do that.

What do you want me to do?

Cheers!

Ricky

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From: RBR Command Center
To: Ricky Muncie
Subject: Re: Re: TRUNKATION update

Honestly, we don't know.

Whatever you did with Virginia Tech was... it was...

Okay, we don't know what the hell that was. It was different, but it did fulfill the mission of the assignment. You did manage to pass along some information about the Hokies that just didn't make it in other posts.

So, go do that. Just don't go crazy with the graphics this time.

As always, Roll Tide!

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From: Ricky Muncie
To: RBR Command Center
Subject: Re: Re: Re: TRUNKATION update

So, I take it that you don't want me using this one?

Trunkation_atm_medium

Cheers!

Ricky

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From: RBR Command Center
To: Ricky Muncie
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: TRUNKATION update

Alright, now that you mention it, we did have a problem with that graphic.

As we discussed with you, the Houndstooth background is classy in any other context, but in this case, it's just plain busy. It makes the graphic hard to look at.

Can you clean up that background? We want it to be relevant to the topic at hand, but just not as hard to view.

And while you're at it, clean up the other parts of it we discussed with you on the phone.

As always, Roll Tide!

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From: Ricky Muncie
To: RBR Command Center
Subject: Aggie TRUNKATION remix

Your wish is my command.

Trunkation_atm2_medium

Cheers!

Ricky

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From: RBR Command Center
To: Ricky Muncie
Subject: Re: Aggie TRUNKATION remix

Cute. Sharpies.

Tell us again how that isn't blatant trolling?

Ricky, you're better than this.

As always, Roll Tide!

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From: Ricky Muncie
To: RBR Command Center
Subject: Re: Re: Aggie TRUNKATION remix

Do you realize how many Sharpies I had to tape to my whiteboard to get that picture?

You clearly don't know how I suffer for my art. One time, when making a graphic of Brian Kelly, I had to scrape around the backyard looking for just the right kinds of plants to give me the Kelly Green shade I needed. (I trained under the hands of Jimmy Sudduth.)

That shade can only be acquired locally from the lower stem of the Rhododendron alabamense (Alabama azalea), which in this instance grew under a dense thicket of brambles. As you can imagine, in the heat of the noonday sweltering sun, I tripped and made a bloody mess of myself. And it sure took a toll on my Kelly green.

Kelly_green_medium

The man really isn't that angry in real life. I hear he is quite pleasant, and much calmer now that he doesn't have the pressures of a national championship weighing on his shoulders.

Anyway, we won't have those wee little Fig Things to kick around anymore.

Cheers!

Ricky

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From: RBR Command Center
To: Ricky Muncie
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Aggie TRUNKATION remix

Who the hell is Jimmy Sudduth? And that still doesn't answer anything about the Sharpies.

Remember, this stuff has to be relevant. We're on thin ice as it is.

As always, Roll Tide!

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From: Ricky Muncie
To: RBR Command Center
Subject: Thin Ice Ice Baby

Jimmy Sudduth was an Alabama treasure, a respected primitive artist from Fayette, who met more American Presidents than Coach Bryant. You would have been better off to know him.

And the Sharpies are there by design. As you can plainly see, there are 49 of them in the picture. However, there are only 34 Sharpie logos visible. 34 out of 49 is Johnny Hancock's completion/attempts ratio for his roughly 60 minutes or so of actual game time. That's a not too shabby 69.4%, which is up from his 2012 figure of 68%. (But his opposition was Rice and Sam Houston State, which aren't exactly powerhouses.)

Our bug-eyed Reveille is sitting on a 18.73% incline, which represents the increase over 2012 in Manziel's all-important yards-per-attempt. Last season, the Aggies gained a healthy 8.54 yards with each throw, now up (in 60 minutes) to 10.14 yards per attempt.

While that would seem like bad news for us, there has been a bit of a drop in his running. Johnny tucked and ran an average of 15 times per game last season, and in his roughly one game this year (between forced and earned benchings) he has run 13 times. The big dip is with his average per rush, down from 7 yards to a pedestrian 4.2.

What this may portend is that Coach Sumlin simply wants him spending a little more time picking his shots, and less time taking them. Which may play into a mush-rush contain strategy by our front four. It could mean that Johnny isn't going to flush as much, either relying on better passing smarts; or simply trying to avoid needless hits that would put him on the sidelines for something other than boorish and churlish behavior.

Johnny will run when he needs to, and you can't stop that. But as Coach Saban has said, don't give him any help in beating you.

Cheers!

Ricky

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From: RBR Command Center
To: Ricky Muncie
Subject: Re: Thin Ice Ice Baby

Well, that was.

Damn. Educational.

But do we have to have the guy getting gored in the nuts?

As always, Roll Tide!

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From: Ricky Muncie
To: RBR Command Center
Subject: Re: Re: Thin Ice Ice Baby

Actually, yes.

If you remove the Corpsman (they prefer to be collectively known as the Corps of Cadets, for what it is worth), then I have a lot of extra Sharpies showing up, and I would hate to have to tape them up to the whiteboard in a different configuration. Either that, or I have to recalculate everything to incorporate Matt Joeckel's stats as a backup, which haven't been that far off of Manziel's. Again -- consider the competition they've had this year.

Trunkation_atm2_medium
The "nutshot" as it were is another Aggie tradition. Depending upon who you talk with, it's believed to be related to the whole "12th Man" tradition. When the team feels pain, we all feel pain, or something of that nature.

Think of Kyle Field as one gigantic, steeply-rigged Thunderdome full of Corsican Brothers.

And the tusk is representative of our collective desire to give them every reason to enjoy that tradition.

Who says we can't be respectful of our new SEC brethren?

Cheers!

Ricky

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