The week is finally here! It couldn't have come soon enough as we have been waiting a LONG time for this one.
Last Year's Game
I remember the last time we played you and your team. To be brutally honest, I was worried. We had just come off an emotional roller coaster. A hellacious matchup against an LSU team eager to get their pound of flesh from the trouncing they took in the BCS game.
You could tell it took it's toll as Bama was stunned for most of the 1st quarter. You tore us a new one in the span of 12 minutes and by the time we realized it, we were down 21-0. We rallied after that, but alas the hole we dug for ourselves was too much to overcome - AND WE LOST!!!
Last year's game was the fly in the ointment, sand in the gears of progress - a thorn we would carry with us for a year. We relived that game over and over, every time we got to see you and your off-the-field antics.
Hey Johnny that first pitch during the MLB game you threw out - you know where you reminded us that you had time to bobble the ball, get it back and still find a WIDE OPEN RECEIVER IN OUR FLIPPING ENDZONE - yeah that felt great, rubbing salt in the wound.
Also, we're so glad we helped the only Freshman college player in history to win the Heisman. Doing that helped you gain unprecedented celebrity status - WHICH YOU THREW IN EVERYONE'S FREAKIN' FACE!! Keep it classy Bro!
Dear Johnny - A list of reasons why I hate thee:
Here's a list of things that have thoroughly annoyed me to the point of boiling anger:
- You are spoiled brat who could care less about responsibility, humility, class, leadership and the concept of "Team First!"
- You have owned your celebrity status (please sign here), while disowning your bad behavior, claiming "I'm just 20 years old" mantra, every time there's an opportunity for you to gain perks - THAT YOUR TEAM HELPED YOU ACHIEVE!!!
- You have been a constant lightning rod of controversy and it seems you actually enjoy creating the drama - which is now spilling into your gamesmanship on the field through all of your gestures - GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK!!
- You represent everything that's wrong with the college game. You are the antithesis of college athletes everywhere who work hard in the class room, help promote the right things about college sports and do their best to stay humble if they achieve success.
- You have had little help from you parents, as it appears they have enabled your "I'm going to get mine - me first!" attitude.
Now the above represents my perception based on what I see or read about you, which is a lot - BECAUSE YOU'RE ON THE NEWS ALL THE TIME!!! If that wasn't enough you're going to get your own "JOHNNY CAM" for the game!! I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THAT! No really I am, and here's why:
If you think this is just another game, then you just stepped out of reality and into the Twilight Zone. Sure the players are going to say it's just another game - we're actually coached on how to talk to the media - that's what we're SUPPOSED TO SAY.
Meanwhile we've had ATM placards on each weight bench, TV footage of how little Johnny ran through us like a bad stomach bug, and an unsigned game block representing the one loss from what would have been a perfect season.
Saban has done everything in his power to get Bama prepared for you this go 'round. He's a details first kinda a guy, who obsesses over the little things. We have been prepping for you Johnny boy.
Here Comes the Pain Train!!
You're going to feel the pain that's coming your way - not like a permanent injury. I'm talking about good old-fashioned, hard hitting football. You have some HIGHLY motivated players gunning for you. Oh It's coming Johnny - and it's coming like a bullet train on a one-way track. It's almost upon you. Can you hear it?
We've had time to think about this game and prepare. We've had an off week to fine tune the game plan. We have had a year of people constantly throwing last year's loss in our face. And we've had you Johnny...24/7 on the Web, TV, in the paper - EVERYWHERE!! A CONSTANT REMINDER!
So yes this games means something to us! Yes we've got some bottled up hostility to get out of our system! We don't care if you have 120,000 in your stadium. Whether it's the 12th man or the 300th, we could give a crap less.
We're coming for you Johnny - we have waited a long time for this, but it's finally here. And make no mistake, it's not revenge we're after, it's a RECKONING!! We're coming for you and Hell's coming with us!!!