Another football season, another opportunity to laugh at the message board crazies who take this game we love much, much too seriously. As always, the language in this post is horrible. If you are easily offended, read no further. Seriously, people.
This edition focuses on the fans of UGA, Oregon State, K-State, and UConn. While fornication seems to be the theme of the day, we also have references to coach firings, xanax, JFF (why?), seduction, farting, Chick-Fil-A, rednecks, cupcakes, nitrogen, toilets, holding, Madden, uniform sexuality, turd polishing, and consumption of mass quantities of alcohol. Enjoy.
"I came back for THIS??"
So a high snap cost us the game, or at least overtime. MOTHERFUCKIGN GEORGIA
See you in the Chik-fil-a bowl Clemson.\
I say this every year, and I always regret it. FIRE MARK RICHT!!!!!!!
I need a xanax.
These fucking linemen.... And WTF! PASS INTERFERENCE!!
I think a lot of people are ignoring the elephant in the room here, which is how UGA has managed to get back to getting 870989868 penalties a game.
Oh, best running back duo in the nation? lol 3 straight throws.
Fuck my stupid life.
And fuck John Manziel.
Offensive line: WHAT THE FUCK
Tryouts for LT will be held tuesday afternoon at the IM fields. Sign-up in Tate Plaza Tuesday 10-1PM. All are welcome.
Why couldnt we have just played a team like western Missouri technical institute.
I bought too much pizza and not enough beer. I'm such a failure.
Oh how the tables have tur.... fuck my life.
THAT. MOTHER. FUCKING. BLIND SIDE. Can we get an LT please
Why the FUCK couldnt we recover that for A TD? I really feel liek GEorgia is the most hapless team ever
How would I know it was Georgia if they didn't crush my hopes at least once a season?
We might as well call it Georgia-ing from now on.
If you can stop a nose bleed, come to practice Tuesday and we'll give you jersey and see what you can do. We're desperate..
Fuck that fucking tiger. It's like a goddamn walking nightmare
FUCK ALL OF YOU. FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU. I'M TOO DRUNK FOR THIS SHIT.
oh god clowneys gonna kill us
It's 2013. Where the fuck is the 1st down indicator on the broadcast?
I hate our uniforms right now.
I don't know what's real anymore...
Dear UGA fans: Don't hate Clemson; hate our piss poor fucking excuse of an offensive line that's supposed to be "seasoned".
That look on Aaron's face during that player preview. I can't tell if he was trying to be seductive or trying not to fart.
God dammit. FUCKING FUCK. Can we please have one season where our hopes and dreams aren't crushed? :(
Can Mark Richt lose control of his job now? Please?
And Clemson holding on almost every play now.
How come nobody ever holds against Georgia?
Seriously, y'all...These trashy redneck fans are making me SO mad.
Can please go back to scheduling cupcakes for the first game?
This is fun! I like shootouts against FCS teams!
There is no "D" in Oregon State Beavers
EWU stands for Everyone's Wide Upen
Yeah I know just roll with it
Every year we're supposed to be good
we absolutely suck.
Every year we are supposed to suck we are good.
I've learned that this is just a fact of life as a Beaver fan.
This is my suggestion
1. Fire Riley
2. Fire Banker
3. Don't play FCS teams opening week
insert I ain't even mad meme pic here
HORRIBLE strategy at the goal line brain dead horrible terrible embarrassing
Why EVER schedule a good FCS opponent? What is the advantage you gain from it? No poll voters care about the relative quality of the FCS team you play. None. Pick a bad school, pay them AS MUCHAS YOU NEED TO, and ease to a victory, a la Nicholls.
How can such a thing be possible when...
Pre-season polls ranked the Beavers #25 and
The Beavs have new uniforms and
The QB controversy was resolved weeks ago when Mannion earned the top spot and
Reportedly, last season proved that Banker has all the defensive answers and
Coach Riley said he felt good about the upcoming season and
and, and, and, and...
Oh, yeah, you have to actually play the games
GET SOME FUCKING PASS COVERAGE YOU FUCKTARDS
There's 49 points and god knows how many yards of offense allowed that OSU won't ever get back - to a goddamned Big Sky team.
Well the toilet has flushed, and there goes our ranking.
I'm getting tired of his shit. He can stuff "traditional" offenses no problem, but the minute the QB breaks out of the pocket or we play a spread opponent we're fucked. It's been the same problem since I was a freshman 6 goddamn years ago.
I don't think wins vs Stanford, Oregon, and USC will even bring us back from this shitshow.
That was the most abysmal half of football I've seen out of this team in a long time. I sincerely hope all 30 of them have new assholes for the second half.
I just realized, I think the white paint is supposed to look like Beaver buck teeth. But I think I might just be delusional
FUCK Come one.... Seriously use the press expect the run... This isnt hard just play the cheesers on NCAA 14 banker holy fuck
What a fucking disgrace to the Pac-12 officials, I'M SO FUCKING DONE PAC-12, I'M DONE.
Welp time to down my sorrows in beer and hopefully not be too hungover
If we lose I am pounding a half bottle of whiskey.
*not even worth a capital letter
Congratulations coach. You now have the biggest joke in the country.
The offensive line is terrible.
The defense is an abortion.
Fuck, this is 1989, losing to a goddamned D-1A team and looking terrible.
Just tweeted we paid them $350,000 to come and beat us.
I need more tickets to buy more beer.
Also, the next Sooner to walk over because I'm wearing a purple shirt and ask me if I'm a KState fan...
Because Waters is to blame for the offensive line sucking ass, the running backs doing nothing, and the defense having the consistency of nitrogen.
What the fuck.
Excitement level has died off completely already
JESUS CHRIST WE JUST GAVE UP A 4 PLAY SCORING DRIVE
What a back and forth match!
Such exciting football. Fuck it's only Towson.
OK, shut it down
Can we trade football for lacrosse?
The ball got lost in his fat fucking thighs
Broke the rules. Drink!
All the "there needs to be a sense of urgency" and "last year wasn't good enough" bullshit was exactly that....bullshit. This is fucking Towson. I'm sorry....I'm sure they are all nice upstanding people going to that school but....come on.
RUN ANOTHER FUCKING SHORT PLAY, A SLANT, OR SOMETHING. THEN USE YOUR FUCKING TIMEOUT. THEN KICK A FIELD GOAL. Any 10-year-old who has ever played Madden could've put a better sequence together.
I'm glad I get to listen to
the Towson home play-by-play team....seriously, can they shove Towson down my throat any fucking more?
Time to get out the whiskey! Fire Pasqualoni.
You know, our uniforms would be sweet if we didn't have that queer helmet
If Coach P survives today, I quit supporting the football program...I can't take it anymore
"It's not a misprint"
Fuck you announcer dude.
We're totes going to win 20-19
And I for one will be very intrigued to see how Dez polishes this turd.
I have tickets to Maryland, so I have two more weeks until I can stop caring about UConn football, which will last 10 weeks until Pasqualoni is fired.
Yes #75, its called a block and your jock has been torched all night
Ah, there's the shit on top of the shit sundae
That was a truly impressive way to blow this game once and for all.
I'd personally like to thank Paul Pasqualoni
Just free'd up my Saturdays this fall.