FanPost

A Users Guide In How To Properly Swing A Cactus


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There has been some confusion the last couple days on how to properly use the Swinging Cactus. Let me make this perfectly clear, swinging a cactus is serious business and not to be taken lightly. It is to be used only in the most desperate of times. In the rare event a cacti swinging is warranted, only RBR Managers (i.e. myself and Slice of Life) are allowed to bring out said cactus.

What is this Swinging Cactus of which I speak? Well, to answer this question let me point you to a game thread back from late September 2010. You may remember a certain first half against Arkansas that didn't go so well. Todd broke out the cactus and 'Bama ended up winning the game. TIMING IS EVERYTHING.

So, for those new to RBR, here is a guide in how NOT to use the swinging cactus...

How not to use a cactus

Idiot Cactus

Stupid looking cactus

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When Alabama is winning by 25 cactus...

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Recruit picks Auburn over Alabama cactus (cause, lol)

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Wrong words/font cactus

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Acceptable use of the Swinging Cactus..

— News that the NCAA is investigating Alabama and it's not for improper use of textbooks/suits.

— Alabama is losing (i.e. end of 1st quarter against A&M 2012, end of 1st half against Arkansas 2010, end of 1st half against USCe 2010.)

— In the event Alabama loses a game....

— AJ McCarron is seriously hurt during a game.

— Nick Saban (or Kirby Smart) were to quit mid-season and take the job at Auburn..

Possible but unlikely reasons to swing a cactus:

— Alabama player not named AJ McCarron is hurt in a game (Any injury to any player is horrible but a serious injury to AJ would be cacti swinging worthy)

— Alabama players are arrested for doing stupid things (Skittles Four)

— An Alabama player leaves the team mid season (Unless under NCAA investigation. See reason above)

Finally, you never WANT to swing a cactus. The reason for Hoodoo Friday is to avoid swinging a cactus. But if the situation calls for it and the football gods have turned their back on our sacrifices, this is how you swing a cactus..

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via cdn0.sbnation.com

FanPosts are just that; posts created by the fans. They are in no way indicative of the opinions of SBN and the authors of Roll Bama Roll.

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