I was watching ESPN last night when the subject of Notre Dame's latest gridiron debacle came up again.  When the question was raised of just what the problem was with Charlie Weis' squad, Lou Holtz said their problem was that they lacked mental and physical toughness.  Harsh!  I think Lisping Lou just called the Irish a bunch of pussies.  He is seemingly always against a head coach being fired, even Mike Shula.  This means Weis must certainly be a dead man walking.  I bring this up only to remind everyone that we may have but one chance to hand Urban Meyer his just desserts before he leaves for South Bend.

Dear Alabama,


I won't lie and say that I really know much about Alabama football. I know you're really fucking good, I know that you may yet play the Hawkeyes in a BCS game (assuming they don't occupy the kids' table with Boise State), I know you can be found on any given Saturday afternoon on CBS, and that you may yet play for the national title game (to be decided after a grueling fucking conference championship game to be played against the Florida Tebows). I also know what I skimmed from the Wikipedia page about the Crimson Tide that you are one of the oldest and most storied programs in college football, rich with tradition and rivalries, and so on and so forth.

I don't give a shit about any of it. All I want from Alabama is one thing, and that is to thoroughly embarass Auburn.

Seriously, I want Auburn to look like a fucking Div III school out there. I want them laughed off that goddamn field, demoralized and embarassed heading to a bowl game.

Look, I know most of you have no idea where Ames, Iowa is. Iowa State University is a small university in the middle of fucking nowhere who only gets to stay in the Big XII because of our wrestling program and that one time we stumbled into the Elite 8 in basketball. Most of the guys on our team wouldn't even make Alabama's second string, because it's hard to recruit when it's an average temperature of about 10 degrees outside on senior day. We muddle through the mess that is the Big XII north and one time when two other teams tied at 4-4 in the conference with us we managed to snag a share of a division title once.

Anyway, we managed to scrape together 6 wins this season, and are likely headed to the weedwhacker bowl in Shreveport. And we want a piece of Auburn, and we need you to embarass them so that they'll fall as far as the second-to-last-team taken from the SEC.

Basically, for the last two years, Auburn's current coach (Chizik) was our head football coach. And while I can't begrudge the man for grabbing his dream job at Auburn, the way he left was pretty douche-y. To top it off, when he got to Auburn, he fired all the coordinators, including Paul Rhoads.... who is an Iowan native, and is now the 1st year head coach of the Cyclones, and quickly becoming beloved by both fans and players alike.

What better way to get revenge on the guy who fired you than to kick his ass on national television?

So please, from all of us in Iowa to all of you in Alabama,

Roll Tide.

Box score and play-by-play

I really hate Providence College, ever since they ruined my birthday by beating the Tide in the Sweet 16 in 1987.  (I especially hated Billy Donovan, and he's certainly done nothing to change that.)  So I'm especially happy to report that Anthony Grant's crew went to 2-1 and knocked the Friars from the ranks of the unbeaten tonight.

It was a hardfought, back-and-forth game, which Providence led 37-33 at the half.  Neither team could get out to a lead of more than about five points, but Providence led much of the way.  Mikhail Torrance, however, wouldn't let the Tide lose.  Leading 76-75 with 46 seconds to go, he stole the ball and went coast-to-coast, laid the ball in, and was fouled, finishing the old-fashioned three-point-play to make it 89-75.  He then made three out of four further free throws (Andrew Steele getting an offensive board off the other) down the stretch to secure the win.  Torrance finished with 26, and played all but one minute.

In addition to Torrance, JaMychal Green was his usual self with fifteen points and twelve rebounds, but the key was Justin Knox, who hadn't done much in the first two games but finished with a double-double (13-10) of his own; he was only 1-6 from the field, but 11-12 from the line.  Senario Hillman, who dunked to end the game, finished with nine.  It was a very even game, as noted.  The Tide had one more rebound (47-46) and neither team shot well, but the Tide won the game at the line, hitting 27 of 35 free throws.

Fear the mocs!

I see it happening this way:  UT Chatt opens up with a sustained drive of about 5 yards or so before having to punt.  Outraged, CNS chews out the defense as the offense rolls down the field to score a TD.  Chastised, the D goes out and proceeds to chew up the Mocs offensive line and allows a net -57 yards for the rest of the half.

Halftime score

Bama 31

Mocs 0

In the second half, the second team takes the field, and while still outscoring UT-Chatt, they allow one big passing play.

Final

Bama 58

Mocs 10

Newcomers help Grant claim first Alabama win

Box score and play-by-play

Behind 23 points in 24 minutes off the bench by freshman Tony Mitchell, the Alabama men's basketball team evened their record at 1-1 last night, securing Anthony Grant's first win as Alabama head coach.  The Tide only led by five at the break, but pulled away in the second half thanks to Mitchell and fellow newcomer Charvez Davis.  Davis, a JUCO transfer, had 16 points in only 19 minutes, also off the bench.  JaMychal Green and Mikhail Torrance chipped in with thirteen apiece, and Torrance added eight assists.

Anthony Brock, who started the opener, has been suspended indefinitely from "all basketball activities" for a violation of team rules.  Torrance, who was going to play in crunch time anyway, started in his place.

The Tide was outrebounded, 42-32.  Unusually for a SWAC team, JSU had a decided height advantage, starting a 6-10 center and three other players 6-6 or taller.  Alabama countered much of the night with a small lineup with only one inside player and the 6-6 Mitchell playing power forward.  Grant Maxey, the preseason SWAC player of the year, played only three minutes for JSU...

The Tide did much better defending (4-14) and shooting (7-17) the three than in the opener.  The biggest problem, other than the rebounds, was foul shooting, as they hit only 19-32 (59%).

I know we all have our own game day traditions.  But out here in sunny Arizona, ours centers around consumption of the opposing team mojo.  i.e.  Vols = recipies containing Lil Smokies, KY = fried chicken, Bulldogs (GA & Miss. State) = a veratible buffet of types of hot dogs, LSU = etuffe you get the picture.

I know it's corny (and all I can say is thank GOD we don't play USC), but heck, i'm betting ya'll wear a special pair of socks, a particular T-shirt or what ever.  We all have our little superstitions about what works. Todd has proved it each week this season too.

Anyway and to the point.  I received some gator tail meat a few years ago and tried my best to cook it up.  It was the nastiest, (ok, well not pork brains in milk gravy nasty) meat I've ever cooked.

Any of you fans have a tried and tested recipe for making gator meat edible?  If so, please pass it on.  This is big mojo eatin time!! Thanks....roll tide roll

NAIROBI, Kenya – Somali pirates attacked the Maersk Alabama on Wednesday for the second time in seven months, though private guards on board the U.S.-flagged ship repelled the attack with gunfire and a high-decibel noise device.

This is the same ship that was attacked last Spring where the captain was taken hostage and the Navy Seal sharpshooters killed all three hijackers. These dumb-ass pirates should know better than to attack a ship named "Alabama"!  I guess they never learn.......Roll Tide! 

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This has been an interesting Finebaum show.  This lawyer is on there talking about the Eric Smith assault.  According to her several AU football players got confrontational with some other students at this party.  They reportedly knocked drinks out of Jenkins's hands.  Jenkins then went outside to make a phone call when Smith rushed him and knocked him out from behind.  From her description, the kid was hurt pretty bad.  His head required 17 stitches, and he suffered a severe concussion. This all happened right in front of 4 Auburn police officers.  Anyway, according to the lawyer Eric Smith was granted youthful offender status and the case was sealed.  But of course he is still at Auburn, playing football, and didn't miss a game. 

Now here's where it gets interesting.  According to the lawyer, this isn't the first time an Auburn football player has assaulted someone.  Furthermore there is a group of players who call themselves the "Swag Crew" who exhibit gang like tendencies and have been intimidating students.

Of course the barners have been calling in and saying that the lawyer is on the take for Alabama, assassinating the character of Jenkins for being at a party and having a drink in his hands, and all kinds of other ridiculousness.

This just in from The National Weather Center in Coral Gables, Florida......

The National Weather Center satellite has picked up a hurricane the size of Mt. Cody with Mark Ingram sized hail, Julio Jones lightning, with Rolando McClain strong winds and Trent Richardson speed! If you are in the Florida area, tuck your head between your legs and kiss your sorry tail goodbye 'cause the Tide is movin in. This will be a strong/slow moving storm that will travel from Tuscaloosa to Auburn before it reaches Atlanta and destroying everything in it's path.

ROLL TIDE ROLL!

It seems that Todd has been selectively choosing the nasty "edibles" in the videos he's posted on here. It's time to step up the game. For Auburn and Florida, we're going to need Todd to step up and secure our victory. As such, I propose the following delicacies, with the second-place winner being consumed for the Auburn game, first place winner for Florida. Now let's see how long this lasts before Todd edits the post and poll to reflect "cotton candy," "hershey's chocolate," etc...

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