If I had to sing Creed, Orson has to shave his head:

We will shave our heads if footage–legitimate, unedited, unmanipulated footage–of Terrance Cody performing a backflip on level ground surfaces. (No trampolines, trapeze equipment, or other assistance permitted.)

One of you scamps has to have some contact with Cody, be it in class, on facebook, or whatever.  We can do this, people. We can do this.

MAKE. THIS. HAPPEN.

I'm editing a piece for Yea Alabama at the moment, and was amused to find this in the spell check:

Bill Gates must be an LSU fan...

A brief list:

Any and all athletic ambition I may have ever had quickly vanished in the 2nd grade when, after running a mile in PE, I broke down in tears from the throbbing pain coursing through my knees and had to be taken to the emergency room.  Blame my Mother; her side of the family is full of artificial this and thats (she has a fake hip herself) and I myself have had two procedurs done to my left knee and have been told that I will need to get that right one looked at pretty soon.  From 2nd to 8th grade, when PE as a required course mercifully ended, I was allowed to walk the required mile each year, and even then I "miscounted" the number of laps I had completed until the coaches would finally get fed up and let me go sit on the bleachers until the end of the period.  So even though I loved the game of football from darn near the cradle, actually taking part in any sort of organized sport was never an option for me which I regret to this very day.  Sadly my collegiate career is well over, because hope has finally arrived for us poor souls who wanted to be jocks, really we did, but just didn't have the physical tools to get there.  From the Harvard Crimson:

In the last few weeks, 23 of North America’s top universities have signed up to join a brand-new competitive collegiate league. Students from McGill, Princeton, Stanford, University of Chicago, Yale, and Harvard have answered an irresistible call: the opportunity to introduce an entirely new game into the hallowed halls of college sports.

Instead of pads and helmets, this sport merely requires a computer, keyboard, mouse, and Internet connection. These tools are standard for any college student, and travel costs are negligible, since the opposing teams can play each other online.

That's right, friends, computer gaming is now a collegiate sport.  The Ivy Leaguers are playing something nerdy, of course, but it's only a matter of time before the southern schools ramp it up with something like Madden or the NCAA series.  Can't you just imagine an SEC where Vandy has a legitimate chance to win the conference? Where the Iron Bowl Rivalry really is a 365 day a year event? Where Mississippi State's telekinetic DEs will wreak horrifying havoc in opposing backfields? It will be glorious...

The future is now, friends.

And then, apparently, also helps relieve it:

h/t The Girl and her astute eyes.

I did another pinch hit post over at Dr. Saturday, this time poking fun at Auburn recruit Denzel McCoy's assertion that the town of Auburn is "nowhere near being small" and wondering if it had anything to do with Duluth, GA (his hometown) actually being smaller than Auburn or if perhaps Coach Chizik had taken them to Auburn's Montgomery Campus for their visit instead.  Naturally I think of even more ways Chizik could have made Auburn seem bigger and more metropolitan than it really is to his visiting recruits after it's posted, so I thought I'd just go ahead and post them here.

1. While touring the town, make sure they notice Auburn has both an Auto Zone AND an Advanced Auto Parts.  Only a major metropolis could so readily provide round the clock do it yourself auto repair!

2. Encase the cows with cardboard stage cars to make the traffic more reminiscent of their "metro"-Atlanta home.* 

Like so, but with more mooooo...

3. Get them all worked up over the delisciousness that awaits them at Momma Goldberg's, then drive them to the Birmingham location for lunch.  Seriously, a Momma's Love would totally be worth that drive.

4. Show them every litter covered spot along the major roads and tell them "it's tradition!"  Because covering public property in waste paper isn't just for Toomer's Corner anymore.

5. Spelling Bees!

Nothing says major urban center like a commitment to knowledge!

* Astute commenters noted that Duluth is, in fact, considered a suburb of Atlanta, but get real people, it's a suburb of Atlanta like Chelsea is a suburb of Birmingham, and the closest those kids get to the "big city" is driving 20 minutes up 280 to eat at The Cheesecake Factory for prom.

...and even though I could pay attention to how you guys voted, instead I'm going to doctor the results (poorly!) and declare the one I wanted as the winner.

Thus concludes this year's exercise in pretending that I am anything less than a cruel blogtator.  All hail our new sweetheart, Rachael Taylor!

Fools! After you cry babies whined and moaned about Snow for a year, did you really think I was going to give you a choice?

In an effort to avoid the kind of fiasco that last year's tournament quickly became, your options are few and your time to vote just as scant. The poll lasts for the next two hours, at which point the new RBR Sweetheart shall be crowned. Have at it.

Rachel Bilson or Rachael Taylor?