Todd's Friday Embarassing Admission...

by Todd on Sep 7, 2007 9:08 AM CDT in Humor Comment 9 comments

...or, Todd Attempts to Curry Favor With the Football Gods by Admitting his Moral, Cultural, and Intellectual Flaws in a Very Public Manner.

Since my embarassing post last week designed to keep both my interent working and to ensure that the PPV game would come in worked so well, I've decided that, each Friday, I'll own up to something about me that I'm not proud of in exchange for a win for Alabama. Since I'm not too terribly worried about Vandy, here's something I'm not proud of, but that I also know a lot of you can sympathize with. I am totally hot for Paris Hilton.

She's not even all that attractive, but when you look at her, she just looks like, well, sex.

Now, that's not too embarassing since I'm sure plenty of our male readers are kind of in the same boat as I am. My brain says "filthy skank sausage wallet that you shouldn't get within ten feet of with someone else's junk," while something deeper inside says "I'd so hit it." So, yeah, I'm hot for Paris Hilton, and it makes me feel dirty...dirty like the things I'd never dare ask a real woman for but am certain Paris would do in a heartbeat. On camera.

Anyway, the rest of the day is going to be pretty hectic for me, so here are a few Friday links for your goofing off at work enjoyment. If I don't get a chance to update again, enjoy your weekend, and I'll see you all back here tomorrow for the "BlogGate."

Our friends at the Vanderbilt Sportsline have their take on tomorrow's game, and be sure to check in with them later on today for a post I wrote letting Vandy fans know what to expect from our own beloved Tide.

Meanwhile, Eight in the Box has been roaming the Vandy message boards, and has come to the conclusion we have no chance tomorrow:

Here are a few things I picked up that assured me that defeat is imminent. According to Vanderbilt fans, we will have to triple team Earl Bennett, and unfortunately for us he will still be open on every single play. Even if by chance we do get Bennett covered with 3 guys the Dores will simply run right up the middle on our poor defense. If we blitz they will stop it. If we play zone they will pick it to pieces. When we play offense... well we don't get to play offense.

It seems that this game has been written in bold, circled with blood, and highlighted with a gold highlighter. This is Vandy's game. It is the game that will propel them to the top half of the league. Vanderbilt has been building for this game for a long time, and by the nose hair of Zeus they're going to kick our ass. They're going to kick Nick Saban's ass because nobody likes Nick Saban, and he is an average coach. Average. Vanderbilt is going to do the rest of the conference a favor and kick Nick Saban's gold plated, diamond encrusted, shiny ass. Guaranteed.

Be sure to check back later on today for this week's edition of the Crimson and White Roundtable.

The Huntsville Times talks about the vanilla schemes we ran on offense last weekend, and thinks that's a good sign for the future:

But in this new-found era of hope and potential resulting from the hiring of coach Nick Saban, putting some punch behind the potential is a sort of new discovery, too.

The fact that Alabama's offense did what it did without reaching page two of its playbook is another fountain of optimism.

"The way we were running the ball, we didn't have to do too much," Wilson said. "We got up early and we're just going to keep pounding it as long as we can."

Western Carolina or not, anyone remember the last time that happened at Alabama?

And finally, in the wake of the Michigan-App State debacle, the AP poll has decided to allow it's voters to include lower divion teams in their ballots:

The AP decided to make the change because schools that show they can compete with big-time teams on the field should have a chance to be recognized with them in the Top 25, sports editor Terry Taylor said.

"Why not? The poll was always intended to measure teams that compete against each other, regardless of division, based solely on on-field performance," she said. "It was that way long before Division I was divided into I-A and I-AA in 1978."

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Is it just me....

or has the lead-up to the Bama/Vandy game been a bit too congenial? We need a smack talking thread!! :-)

by sandman227 on Sep 7, 2007 9:22 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

You hit the nail on the head...

Pairs Hilton is like a Moped. Remember that joke from high school? She is fun to ride, but you don't want your friends knowing you got one. She is sexy, so sexy that I am pretty sure I would catch a disease that would require me to get a needle up my ass roughly the size of a yard stick, but I would hit it anyway.

"I see pretty girls everywhere I go, everywhere I go, everywhere I go...I see pretty girls everywhere I go, everywhere I go, everywhere I go"

As for Vandy beating us - I haven't wanted to say much, and haven't said anything all week about this game to anybody. But lets get serious. Vandy had Bennett and Nixon. Period. If we can't stop those two, then we deserve to lose. However, just like Al DelGreco (Richard Greiko anybody?) on JOX this morning being an Auburn Homer, everyone wants to see Saban embarrassed. Come on, hasn't happened since 1984, and won't happen this year. We are too fast and too much talent for Vandy to handle, and I don't care how awesome their QB and WR are. They are still Vandy. Saban is not going to get outcoached by Vandy, and our talent level is exponentially higher. They will play us close because, for whatever reason, they always play us close. Unfortunately for them, and Al Delgreco, we are too much and we will win, 31-17.

Roll DAMN Tide!

"FAILURE" - When your best just isn't good enough

by BamaReturns07 on Sep 7, 2007 10:12 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

you are in luck!

Paris Hilton is getting ready to have a baby... and looking for a husband!

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,295707,00.html

by loudroar on Sep 7, 2007 10:22 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

love the pics of Paris...

would be sweet to bag that one night and have access to her FUNDS. I think that is what attracts me more than anything...she is sexy, but there are plenty of sexy ladies out there. Just not plenty of sexy ladies that are completely LOADED.

tubs sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!

by BAMA PHREAK on Sep 7, 2007 11:41 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

the hot skank

is always attractive in that "i know i shouldn't but i really want to (and i bet she would)" kind of way. if she would just keep her mouth shut we'd all be a lot more attracted to her.

by gerry dorsey on Sep 7, 2007 12:32 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

i'll go one step further

and give my own embarrassing admission.

those shoes paris is wearing are worth like $700. my girlfriend showed me those shoes in the mall with the red bottoms. i don't remember the name but apparently it's an important one. shoes worth $700 kind of stick with you.

i will now sit back and wait for you to question my manhood.

by gerry dorsey on Sep 7, 2007 12:35 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Id hit it

and then be antibiotics for the next three weeks.

by alextuscaloosa on Sep 7, 2007 1:23 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

so I guess we all agree...

we'd all hump Paris Hilton. yes, I'd love to...
I actually mentioned that to my wife (we were dating then) one time and I'll prolly never live it down...

but I'd still hit it...

by SpockJenkins on Sep 7, 2007 6:17 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Paris / that Gattis piece in the Times

Of course gerry dorsey is right in that the forbidden fruit is always the sexiest... err, or something like that.

Regarding the HTimes piece, I think it's a little deceiving to make so much of Alabama using "vanilla" schemes without considering whether Vanderbilt did the same. As I posted below, wiser observers than I have said that our mediocre defense in the first half was largely due to trying not to reveal too much.

Now, if you want to make a big deal over beating a horrible I-AA opponent badly with simplified schemes versus beating a slightly better I-AA opponent not so badly with simplified schemes, so be it. To me the salient point is, in the second half we looked a lot better.

Safe travels to all who go up for the game (as I'll be doing). Hope the game itself proves unenjoyable to you, though.

by PhilipVU94 on Sep 7, 2007 8:10 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs