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God Bless Their Ignorant Red Necks...

By Todd

One of the greatest feelings known to modern man is that smug, superior sense of worth derived from the rivalries inherent in college football.  Rock solid gospel truths in the minds of all REAL college football fans include:

  1. That your team is the more worthy and anyone who doesn't agree is obviously some sort of moron, one so dumb that they would actually pull for your rival.
  2. Their players are too busy picking their noses and trying to seduce their cousins to bother practicing.
  3. Their coaches are evil opportunists who don't really care about their team and would smother every last one of their players in their sleep for a bigger paycheck.

Note to Auburn Players:  Burn all the pillows in your hotel room on road trips.
  1. Beating them on the field is a foregone conclusion because they have neither the right nor the ability to beat your team.  If the unthinkable should occur and they do win, it's because they cheated.
  2. Their uniforms are ridiculous and only an idiot would like those colors.
Thankfully at Alabama, our two most hated enemies routinely do things to cement these ideas in our minds.  Whether throwing a racist black face party, or producing NFL prospects that stomp on the faces of prostrate and defenseless opponents, there's always something going on on the Plains or up on Rocky Top to remind us that, while we might be down in the football department, at least we aren't godless savages that would rape an off duty police officer than live a decent, law abiding life.

Okay, the raping an off duty police officer thing might be a little over the top, but it's fine fans like James Rodney Wilson and Lance Eugene Borchert that have provided the Bama nation with yet another reason to mock and/or ridicule the fans of both UT and AU.  It seems that Mssrs. Wilson and Borchert were playing a friendly game of NCAA as their respective teams.  When Mr. Borchert decided to turn in, Mr. Wilson responded by stabbing Mr. Borchert in the back with a 10-12 inch long butcher knife.  Sheriff Mike Blakely...

...didn't know for sure which man was the Volunteers or Tigers. "But I can only assume Wilson was on the losing end," Blakely said. "The screen was still on when we got there with the score up. It showed Tennessee winning."

While that might be the most simple of explanations, Sheriff, don't be too hasty in your judgement.  While Auburn fans are notoriously sore losers, UT fans are certainly sore winners, and it wouldn't surprise me to find that Mr. Wilson decided to cap off his win with a "victory stab."  (H/T EDSBS)

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