Since it's a mercifully slow day at work, Dawg Sports got my creative juices flowing, and the 3rd season premiered last night, I submit to you a comparison of SEC teams and characters from The Office.
Alabama - Jim
Has the talent for bigger and better things, but Pam/Auburn has held them back. Jim did seek and accept a promotion though, and Bama is looking for greater success itself.
Arkansas - Dwight
If I told you about a man who was a part time beet farmer, practiced karate at a fourth grade level, and once attempted (and failed) to take his shirt off at a local Chili's to cushion the head of a drunk girl, you might think I was talking about Houston Nutt.
Auburn - Pam
Much like Pam is with Jim, Auburn fans are secretly obsessed with Alabama but refuse to admit it.
LSU - Jan
Suffered from an ill conceived collapse to UT/Michael that they'll never live down.
Ole Miss - Angela
Totally hot in a stuck up way. Typically succumbs to Dwight/Arkansas.
Mississippi State - Toby
Both sadly and silently keep their place in the back, and State might be better off dropping football and adopting Toby's game Dunder Ball instead.
Florida - Kelly
Will not shut up, not even for a second, no matter what.
Georgia - Stanley
The quiet and unassuming giant of the office/conference.
Kentucky - Creed
Creed has never owned a refrigerator, Kentucky has never won a national title. Plus, generally ignored until direct contact is absolutley necessary.
South Carolina - Oscar
Both love those Cocks.
Tennessee - Michael
Loud, foolishly arrogant, pisses off EVERYONE around them, sometimes causes you to root for their success but always quickly reminds you of why they are not good people.
Vanderbilt - Ryan the temp
Ryan could clean out his desk and be gone in five seconds and no one would ever know he'd been there, much like Vandy could leave the conference and no one would really notice.