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RBR Cheesecake Spring Training: Day 1

Birmingham, AL - Spring got off to a quiet start at Stately Roll Bama Roll Manor, in stark contrast to the expected fireworks and catfights many felt would necessarily occur as three celebrity beauties spend the next week fighting it out over who will be Todd's new RBR Cheesecake for the coming season.

"We started out light today, just some basic stuff, how many hott pictures are available of each, who has the widest range of pictures and YouTube videos, things like that.  While we're mostly concerned with "hottness," we're definetely looking for one of the girls to step up and show us some range.  You know, something beyond the typical: who has a silly side, what sort of strange costumes have they been captured in, things like that.  For example, Diane Kruger's work in Troy gives us plenty to work with in case there's ever an official RBR Toga Party."

Diane Kruger would be a definite hit at a Toga Party.

Todd also mentioned that highly touted recruit Katharine McPhee seems to be struggling to find her place.

"She's a sweetheart, all right, but that's about the depth of her range. Don't get me wrong, I love a cutie in a real life, but this is a blog, and we're looking for intensity here, and she just isn't showing it.  I had hoped to give her the start, but unless she proves something to me by the end of the week, well, let's just hope she looks good in red because that's the shirt she'll be wearing for the next year."

Maybe instead of being "Red Shirted", RBR Cheesecake can be "Pink Dressed."

When pressed on what the rest of the week holds for the girls, Todd evaded most questions, hinting at "theme" days and "Word of the Day" challenges, but generally providing no answers as to how he plans to conduct the rest of his practices.

"Look, we don't want to give anything away this early.  If I came out here and talked about one specific girl then you guys would run off and say "Penelope Cruz is the starter!" just to sell some papers.  The race is still wide open, we're just trying to measure these ladies up and see what they are capable of.   Heck, we might even go with a two cheesecake rotation, kind of a Leak/Tebow thing.  A steady performer to carry most of the load and a battering ram of hottness for those short yardage situations.  It's all up in the air right now, so just sit tight and we'll let you know how things shake out in a week."

Closed practices resume tomorrow at Stately Roll Bama Roll Manor, while the first glimpse of the new look RBR Cheesecake is scheduled for Monday, April 2nd.