We all hate Auburn. And I'm certain that 99.99% of you have done so since birth. Personally, growing up, I know for a fact that I would have been kicked out of my house had I shown even the slightest Auburn allegiance. Hell, I wouldn't even be friends with Auburn fans, it was a dealbreaker. I'm sure many of you were the same way.
So, in the spirit of good ol' fashioned hatred, how about we share our fondest Iron Bowl memories?
I'll toss in a few of my own...
1990: After being generally soft in the four previous losses to Auburn, Byron Holdbrooks set the tone by crushing Stan White early. It looked like we were going to win, and them we fumbled deep in our own territory up 13-7. I just knew we were going down... and then we had to go to the doctor because my brother was sick. Came to find out that Auburn fumbled it back the next play. When we got home a few minutes later, I enjoyed a pack of Sweet Tarts watching the final seconds tick off.
1991: Went to this one in Legion Field and there was an old Auburn lady sitting behind us. She had the most painful voice I've ever heard... I can only describe it by saying that it sounded like she had a big turd lodged in her throat. She was nice, but I'm pretty sure my Dad told her, after she told us they were "good" Auburn people, "Lady, the only good Auburn people are the dead ones." I still remember Tank Williamson bombing the 71-yard punt that completed changed field position, and the hotshot freshman David Palmer taking the direct snap around right end for the game winning touchdown. Watched Stan White get knocked out again. More Sweet Tarts.
1992: This one was on Thanksgiving -- big mistake -- and the Pat Dye resignation news shocked everyone. My Dad was about to wet himself worrying that they would have a "win one for the Gipper" moment and take us out, and the 0-0 score at halftime wasn't helping. Meanwhile, my mother was trying to convince me to choke down some shitty Thanksgiving dinner she had cooked and I wasn't interested at all. Anyway, Langham broke it off in them, and we all laughed when the Auburn kicker missed the field goal to preserve the shutout. Watched John Copeland knock out Stan White... again. God that was a great trend.
1994: My Sunday school teacher -- a big Barner -- passed out at the game from shock when Marcel West took the long touchdown catch to make it 21-0 in the first quarter. We get word of this somehow and I'm thinking, "Wow, we beat Auburn and I might not have to go to church tomorrow?!?!?!?! Best Day Ever!!!" It got close late, but Frank Sanders got stuffed. Had a victory Mello Yello.
1996: I'm pretty sure my Dad mooned the TV when they showed Terry Bowden one time during this game. Don't really know why. At any rate, the big pass interference penalty changed the game against Auburn -- thank God college football did PI from the spot of the foul at the time -- but it was looking like a pretty good move by the Auburn DB after Freddie Kitchens threw a one-hopper to Dennis Riddle on a screen to the right. Fortunately they hooked up to the left on the next play and we won it. I remember we drove to Tuscaloosa the day after to get gameday shirts.
1998: This one just felt all weird. It was the final Iron Bowl in Legion Field, and that alone gave it the feeling of a funeral. Besides, it was one of those games where you won but you knew you really didn't... you "won" by being the most respectable loser in a match-up of a couple of bad teams.
1999: Auburn jumped up big early in this one, and on this night my great aunt and uncle (a big Barner) were renewing their vows, which took place at the exact same time as the game itself. After the ceremony, my grandmother said, "Well, I think Bill was more happy about the Auburn score than re-marrying Daisy," to which my grandfather -- who actually loathed any and all sports with a passion, said on several occasions that if he were ever elected president that his first order of business would be eliminating all of the sporting world -- replied, "Well, can you blame him?" Anyway, Moorehead's big safety changed the game and Shaun was unstoppable in the fourth. Watching him butcher that defense late for the first win in Jordan-Hare was worth re-living a million times.
2001: Had a dream the night before this one that we played hard but lost a close one... remember we were big underdogs going in. Suffice it to say, I woke up in a bad mood. After Cadillac had the big run on the busted backside contain, I just knew he was going to run all over us the rest of the afternoon. Instead, Jarrett Johnson ended that the next play. Anyway, we ran it down their throats and broke it off a mile deep in their asses. I stayed up to 3:00 the next morning reading their meltdown. Oh the tears of defeat were mighty sweet.