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For those of you who may have feared that a once-in-a-generation Auburn national championship would dramatically alter their long-held little brother syndrome, I urge you to fear not. Oh no, rest assured that the Evil Empire is intact and as strong as ever, and as I have expected all along the REC is operating at levels that we have not seen in decades.
And do you want to know how we snagged Brent Calloway and Cyrus Kouandjio away from the orange and blue clutches? The answer is simple: we clearly paid them hundreds of thousands of dollars to sign with Alabama, or gave them Dodge Chargers, or blackmailed them, or had their handlers sell them into virtual slavery, or something. No doubt whatsoever. Well, that's what the Auburn people told me, anyway. And to that hilarious end, enjoy a little offseason meltdown:
What happened in Russellville was a guy got paid. What happened in Maryland was blackmail.
This will bring the NCAA into bammer .....just wait? Too much smoke here for their not to be fire!
I am buying stock in Chrysler Monday morning!
Don't know why Chrystler needed that bailout, the Bammers would have kept them in business all by themselves
Which company manufactures the dark red metallic paint and are they publicly traded?
bammer finally got the $$$$ number right...
we are not backing down from anyone anymore........including the evil lying midget and their millions......
The death penalty won't stop their cheating, they'll be right back at it in no time just like they were with Means. Only thing that would stop their cheating is an A-bomb dropped dead center in Tuscalooser.
Folks.....you are seeing the Red Elephant Club at work......... this has been standard operating procedure for decades
I'm anxious to see when Thayer Evans shows up in tuskalooser or Russellville. I bet never.
Calloway will never see the playing field and will wind up at South Alabama. Hope he gets sores on his ass sitting on the bench.
I bet Cyrus was never really considering Auburn, he just flirted with us to get more money out of Bammer. He probably scared them out an extra 10k by visiting Auburn, and probably got another 100k by saying he was going to sign with us on ESPN. We were just his ticket to more money from Bammer.
You knew this would happen when Auburn won the NC. Bammer is scared, they had to up the ante. I bet their new recruiting class cost them at least a couple million.
Hey Iron, when are you going to provide the info about the loans Peaches had paid off?? I think that's the ticket we have all been waiting for!
It is beyond amazing to me that a bastard like Nick Saban can walk into a kids parents house and lie directly to them and they just eat it up.
Am I the only one who thinks Arie made up that and posted it on Twitter to force Cyrus to sign with Bammer? I wouldn't put anything past the REC.
Calloway's old high school coach was a tried and true Auburn man who would never dream of doing this. Who wants to bet his new coach is a Bammer who sold him to the highest bidder?
His Brother probably text him and told him Coach Saban said to tell you he has A nice Dodge Charger waiting on you when you get to Tuscaloosa.
Am I the only one who thinks Cyrus's dad's accent is a sham? Seems like he's trying to hide something so he acts like he can't speak English very good.
Apparently Saban locked his brother in the electrical shed and won't let him out unless Cyrus changes.
I'm going to throw up! Where's my puke bucket?
Does the cash Bammer gave to Calloway get refunded when he goes on medical scholarship?
The next Bammer that tells me Calloway and Cyrus are just like Cam I'm gonna punch. The NCAA and the FBI have all cleared Cecil and said that nothing illegal happened. GET OVER IT!
I think Bama quick called him after the announcement and I wouldn't be surprised if some booster was so put off by the snub that he offered everyone $200,000.
When does the Bammer 30/30 death penalty special air?
If the NCAA put a salary cap in college football Alabama would never do better than Shreveport
NCAA Investigators and FBI agents heading to Russellville as we speak.
Good Lord, how in the world does SPUAT steal a kid like Calloway by pressuring his parents and get away with it..I guarantee nobody but Scarbinsky will cover this one...Thanks Peaches, enjoy your rebate...
If this story was the opposite, and parents were forcing AU, you bet your ass Thayer and the NY Time would be all over it.
Preachy got loans paid off......people know what bank and what banker. Not rumor....may get into the paper.....I don't have a lot of confidence that it will happen. More money will come after he signs his letter today..... Parent just sold his kid.....thought Abe Lincoln took care of that.