clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

It's Meltdown Time! | Week Eight

This week's shameful revel in the misfortune of others brought to you by Auburn, Tennessee, West Virginia, and South Carolina!

Time to do some pointin' and laughin', y'all! Extra big Roll Tides to our commenters who submitted material: @LAmeetsDC, MDB Tide Roll, MattRP, Smashedants, *name redacted* AKACJ, @Buckey10swerve, DennyChimes, J Tadpole, @dabbott14, and several others who didn't provide a name but who's contributions are still greatly appreciated. Be sure to thank them in the comments, if they didn't do the leg work Meltdown Time would cease to be.

As always, if you are in any way offended by vulgarity of any type (cursing, sexual innuendo, potty humor, and etc.) DO NOT READ FURTHER YOU WILL BE VERY UPSET SO JUST DON'T DO IT.


We need to cut the govt funding To Sabans cloning facility.

welp. Bama has entered destroy all…women children will not be spared portion of the ballgame


And suddenly becoming an alcoholic seems like a fan career option

Looks like Hunter is our A-Rod, Production when it doesn’t matter.


At least, we are not Auburn or Arkansas. I guess. That's the only shining light I see right now.

I think Neyland Stadium should have $1 drafts. Would bring sellouts and everyone could be plastered while watching beatdowns.

Is Chaney calling plays or... A 13 year old playing an XBox?

I think they have a chimpanzee up in the box throwing its **** at a board of offensive plays.

At least 50k Bama fans there tonight. More Bama fans there than any time in recent memory. Embarrassing especially since it was supposed to be a 'big' recruiting weekend for us. I think we showcased Bama on UT's dime.

I was there. 55-45 Orange. Been going since 87. By far most visiting fans ever. Midway through 4th 90% Bama

TV showed more than one hot honey from 'Bama and frankly they looked much better than the UT women. Another sad but true story from Neyland tonight...........

It's like Bray went in the huddle and said, 'We gonna throw an interception on HUT.

I quit being a vols fan. This board can kiss my arse.

Go egg brays apartment on your way out


Hard to teach my son the History of the Vols, especially since it is all history. What have you done lately??????

We got South Carolina next week?? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck........

Nothing compares to the Pride of the Southland marching band. And yes I did just resort to gloating the band because our team sucks

This is when I wish college football had a running clock

Vols just need to find the next genius who sucks as a pro football coach....

When I see Alabama fans arrogantly cheering in Neyland Stadium, it makes me want to take a hostage.

They should just stop our games against ranked teams at halftime so we can keep at least a little pride.

Trying to win a big game with Tyler Bray as your signal caller is like trying to win a 100 yard dash with a wooden peg leg.


Vanderbilt used to kick field goals against Ut when it was 40-10 and everyone would laugh. What goes around….

At least it wasn't a total loss,Alabama did give Tyler Bray a game ball and tried talking him into staying another year.

We should've taken one crutch away for the COWARDLY, INEXCUSABLE way he wussed out the end of the first half, and the other one away for the field goal.

I hate seeing FL, AL, SC, and GA winning big games and we're almost the "Kentucky" game on their schedule..... I'm tired of looking like this

We've become Vanderbilt I AM LAUGHING SO HARD! I used to get sooooo upset when TN lost, my wife and kids knew to leave me alone for a while im glad I am not like that anymore. This crap we are force fed is really bad and some of the remarks are so funny.


Chizik will be the best middle school pe coach next year

If someone would have told me we’d be 1-5 at this point back in May…I would have made sure my booze cabinet was better stocked.

So what you are saying is that we suck.

we are so bad that the only reason we aren't dead last in points allowed is that les miles doesn't know his ass from an end zone

Eventually the playbook will be one play. OMac sweep to the sideline.

Its like watching someone in your family continue to drink into oblivion or abuse drugs. You help them, you help them, you pray for them. Then eventually you're just tired. What else can you do? What can we possibly do to help this football team improve even in the slightest? IMHO not one thing.

You know there's no NCAA rule that says we CAN'T train an eagle to play Quarterback #Auburn

If AU doesn't improve dramatically (miraculously?) in the next month, the Iron Bowl is going to have all the drama of the 2nd half of A-day.

Selling the rest of my season tickets for a donut. That would satisfy me more than these games this year.

I'm gonna punch everyone in the face who says "War Eagle anyway" after this game.

Chizik has been demoted from the F 150 to the Focus for next weeks Ford add. #Auburn

Chizik coached both the best Auburn team and worst Auburn teams ever!

Carnac: *holds envelope to head* Gene Chizik. *opens envelope* Carnac: Things more likely to be found hanging from Toomer's Oaks than TP.


What the fuck Auburn! We are getting our asses handed to us by Vandy!

That's like gettin beat by John Carroll

We look like a moose trying to impregnate a washing machine on offense.

Does this team practice?

NO. But there is lots of family play time. Hand holding and kumbaya.

I don't think Trooper allows it.

He does to bad its high- five routines.

wow.... BVG not even saying a word to the D during the review. this program is checked out.

Mosley should change his name to SLOWSLEY


So lets play a game withing a game. Who hasn't quit or isn't on the take.

It might not be wise to fire Chizik right now due to recruiting, but it sure would make me feel better.

Doesn't matter. Even if we finish with fifteen 5-star players, they'll forget how to pass, run, tackle, or block once they get on campus anyway.

We r going to lose players anyway. Watch us play.

I think this isthe turds third string players dressing out for vu........Vandy never has players who can dominate us so much. Did you see 98 on their defense? He looks like a gorilla (has to be bammers)

Our defense is getting pushed around so much that I think I just got pancaked right here on my couch.

Slowsley cannot even run away from a quadraplegic.............I can still outrun that slow turd and I am 45.............Get him out of there.

Mosely decided to fool the rusher by not talking even a step

it might work some day

This Dye commercial makes me sick. Screw Pat Dye.

the only thing I can think is that the WR screen must work like a charm in practice against a sorry-*** defense.

Back it on up like a uhaul truck. Get them out. Every single last one of them.

They are just teasing us by giving us the ball. They know we can't put 3 plays together without moving 20 yards back with penalties.

Such fail. I look forward to the superfan posts this week though.

Makes me wish we had the 1993 no-television NCAA sanctions. I wish people couldn't watch us on TV this year.

McCalebb with his 90th career tackle on himself

Coach Chizik's motivational speech "Make one good play and you get to come to the sideline and have a juice box!"

Chiz sux

My wife has officially given up and has started the yard work she had assigned to me. I guess that is a positive.

Someone is obviously handing out the rest of Dyer's stash to the defense at half time.

CGC did say, before the half, that he didn't need to tell the team that we have to win in the second half. Apparently he was serious.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed him say that. My jaw hit the floor when he said that s***. I've been trying but comments like that are making me lose the little respect I still have for him.

Why won't omac turn it upfield? He trips over a ladybug taking a crap on a piece of grass

My son just offered his allowance for Auburn to find a new coach. He's 7 and he knows we need help

We are the best 6 loss team in Amercia. Ah sarcasm. My only friend these days.

And with that .... Satan beats Auburn for the 6th time this year

The Good news: Auburn beat the spread for 2nd time this season.

I'm seriously bout to go down there and beat the shit out of the entire Auburn football team. So bad.

Upside? Auburn covered and we will have a towel waving WR coach as the head man next week.

The good thing is, Auburn is bigger than football. We move on from this, it's not life. That's why we don't poison trees or teabag anyone.

I know it matters little but I am un-following any negative Auburn tweets. If that's your method now, your cheers weren't worth shit in 2010

I honestly thought that we would have won this one - yesterday. This is the WORST AU team that I have ever witnessed.... bye bye coaches..... just pathetic - no excuse. YOU JUST DO NOT lose to Vandy - ever..... bad enough we lost to Ole (or as the morons say " old") Miss......) ---- oy my GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so freakin' sad right that I've contribute 1,000+ a year - money WELL spent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+3 in turnovers - and AU can't beat Vandy. Wow.

Well at least we had a good week if practice with good energy (sarcasm)

Its just a game. Its just a game...fuck it time to drink my feelings!

Fuck you if you're burning couches you are an embarrassment to yourselves and this school

"@WVAQ: After the Mountaineer game tonight I will ___________ ." Black the fuck out and try to forget.

Fuck you K-State im still gonna black out like we won #MakingBadDesicionsTonight

when our "defense" is out there, the K-State offense should just line up behind them and physically fuck them in the ass #whatsthedifference

I'm at home now. I was standing next to recruits we had visiting and

they were laughing at the defense. Couldn't take any more.

I'm drunk #mountaineernation, NOT unlike our Defensive Coordinator at the Varsity Club Friday night. Yeah, you heard me right. #ALCOHOL


What a goddamn joke. I am pretty sure the bye week is going to get about four passing touchdowns against our 'D' next week.

I am pretty sure when eForest is doing those stupid hand signals on the sideline, he is just doing them. They don't mean a goddamned thing.

This isn't the Big East anymore.

Maybe Dana IS going to go coach Tennessee and he has checked out already. Maybe he is coaching their game secretly instead of their orange pants wearing gimp coach.

What's funny is the announcers are trying to sound like its still a game

How did we get to 5-0? Is Texas really that bad?

I don't think you can technically call this a defense. I believe by definition a defense has to defend. I think ours should be called the "the 11 guys we put out there when the other team has the ball."

Can we play Uconn next week?

We ran 20 plays in the first half for 74 yards. You can't blame that on the defense.

Everything else...cancer, global warming, poverty, war...that's all fair game.

I would love to play QB agaist our D, I could get a helmet sticker.

Also. Just blitz the damn quarterback one damn time. JEEZ.

We did, he ran for a 1st down.


I understand the positives of soft coverage, but for the love of god.... Let's not run away from the WR's.

Maybe that damned wind from Lubbock followed us back to Morgantown.


It's amazing how holgerson's "swagger" can go from John Wayne to "that drunk guy that annoys everyone at the bar trying to act like John Wayne" in two games.

Last week it was 35-7 at halftime. Our defense got 4 points better this week.

His million dollar air barrage super globetrotter offense has gotten their ass handed to them twice....decisively.

Maybe... if Holgs goes to Tennessee... We can get Saban...


Watching WVU's defense is like watching an out of reach toddler stumble towards a set of stairs. It looks bad from the start and you know it's only going to get worse.

I'm trying so hard to get amnesia.

Second half. I will go to church on Sunday if we get a miracle.

This team has completely fallen apart. oh well, win or lose, we still booze. AMIRITE GUYS?!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand we fucking suck.

I'm going to go run my head into the nearest concrete wall, hopefully that will take away the pain from watching our defense.

The only time someone has covered a receiver it was a penalty. I'm pretty sure most lineman could go downfield for a pass and still be wide open.

so my neighbor came down... said i was being too loud. Just told him to Eff off. I'll scream as loud as i want at my fricken TV right now.

if we put in our backups, snyder might put his in..

Never seen a man kick his own butt, but if you want to see a whole team do it the Gamecocks game is on.

I'm about to pitch a fit. Like one of those where you lay on the floor and flail your arms and legs.

I give credit to whoever roofied the Gamecocks water jug, decent prank

Wanted: Gamecocks offense. Last seen: October 6, 2012 in Columbia, SC. Reward: WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST GET US SOME POINTS.

Never-has-beens, never-will-bes, the shitty ass goddamn Gamecocks in a fucking nutshell

At halftime the Gators talked about offensive strategy and the Gamecocks talked about where they wanna go for dinner.

Quit smiling Steve! All the Gamecocks can hope for at this point is a victory in the emo poll

fuck everything
fuck this team
fuck florida
fuck me
fuck you
fuck absolutely everything

3:30 p.m.: We have a top 10 football team.
3:35 p.m.: Aaaand it's gone.

This game is going to kill my heart and I'm going to kill my liver because of it.

I'm hoping for murder-suicide.

To all the Alabama/Florida/UGA fans in this thread, what's it like to win something truly meaningful? I'm convinced now that I will never, ever know.

We're clearly running a charity, not a top 10 football team.

Gamecock football = drugs. addicting to watch with awesome highs, but the lows... oh man the lows. excuse me while I go drink in a dark room

Thanks commentators for reminding me that Florida gets better as the game goes on. Fuck.

I don't understand how our offense looks so goddamn deplorable on the road. It's as if they took a fucking week off from practice.


I want to die right now. It was out year. Fuck everything.

I'm sorry, but watching Gator fans chomp with no expression on their faces in unison skeeves me out.

What the fuck does Muschamp do at halftime to get his offense going? I can only imagine he does lines of coke and then threatens to drop his players into an alligator-filled pit if they don't perform.

And a special bonus meltdown from our old friends UGA, cause lol:

Mark Richt needs to start faking some enthusiasm, just to make me happy. My wife does and it works.