NSFW: It's Meltdown Time!

Welcome back to Meltdown Time, folks, and another opportunity to point and laugh at those who can't help but vent their football frustrations in online forums. As always, be forewarned that this post is uncensored and contains some rather salty and unseemly language. It is in no way suitable for work or small children. You have been warned.

This week we focus on the fanbases of LSU, Ole Miss, and USC, with a collection of meltdowns that almost have a themed feel. LSU fans are realizing that suspicions about their defensive depth may have had some merit after all. The Ole Miss faithful treaded dangerously close to Auburn-level conspiracy theory, blaming their loss to Bama on a combination of corrupt game officials and Tyler Siskey stealing offensive signals. You almost want to feel sorry for the poor USC folks who had, for the most part, already figured out what they had in Lane Kiffin. Giving up 62 to a merely decent team has to sting. Enjoy the schadenfreude, everyone.

via assets.sbnation.com

things I'd rather have at MLB
- a cardboard cutout of Kevin Minter
- a $100 bill
- a pretty girl
- a pizza
- a stop sign
- orange cones
- a mean looking scarecrow
- a basket of puppies

Zach has the pocket elusiveness of a potato.

Fuck I can't stand Gary and his anti-LSU commentary. Fucking dickbag.
Seriously, fuck that motherfycker.

This PREVENT DEFENSE BULLSHIT is what FUCKED us at the end of the Alabama game last year

SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!!

I want to throw Chavis out of his fucking booth right now. At the end of every half every game all year long we have given up a touchdown.
It's like....oh...they only have 3 minutes...they won't score....oh shit, they scored. What the fuck.

My grandmother has better mobility than Mettenberger

2 more fucking yards just HOLD ON TO THE FUCKING BALL. IF YOU FUMBLE HERE I WILL PERSONALLY MURDER SOMEONE WITH MY BARE HANDS

Anyone else think Chrome Refresh hates the Tigers? Seems like everytime there's a big play and I type something the page refreshes before I can hit save. FUCK YOU REFRESH.

I think we just went full retard....

I do not want LSU to win this game because Gurley isn't in it.
Edit: lol nevermind backup RB 1st down

"Here's one play...here's another!"
SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU WORTHLESS FUCK.

HOLD ON TO THE BALL WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

THIS IS HOW ENDS? REALLY? REALLY REALLY REALLY?

I am not drunk enough for this game.....

ARE YOU GOD DAMN FUCKInG KIDDING ME WITh THIS FUckIng buLLSHIT I AM GOING TO PUNCH SOMETHING

Drinking buddy staple 1 of 2 is here (t_m_r). Where's cunt at!?

I'm here to drink beer and talk shit. And I'm all out of beer. Send help.

Where's the LSU defense at? Oh, that's right... they play on sundays.

Why does that man have marital aids mounted on his shoulders?

The youngness and badness of our corners makes me sad. Good thing I'm at a bar.

Fuck. Copeland down.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Please no.

MY FUCKING GOD FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Motherfucker. That's the second time this season Beckham.

Fuck the guy running the clock. GET FUCKING READY WHEN THE PLAYERS ARE READY

FUCKING SHIT FUCK SHIT FUCK ASS NIPPLEFUCKING CUNT

Fuck you Verne. It wasn't in a bar. It was OUTSIDE of the bar. Get it right you dusty old fart.

What the shitting fuck is this crap?

Ball game. Fuck this shit, I'm going to eat some chicken.

FUCK YOU officiating crew....fuck you.

ODELL YOU SON OF A BITCH GOT DAMN IT MOTHER FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

will the game clock operator please remove my head from my ass

The GOD of football hates LSU. Playing a bad joke on us. "Oh they want offense, well I will just make the D crappy and see how they like that."

everyone calm down
and pretend like you're watching a saints game.

Sure would be nice to play two games a year and only have to win one. Thanks SEC. frick you.

via cdn1.sbnation.com

The cheating really just gets to a point that it's laughable and the Bama fans know it and don't care. I'm not sure how I'd feel if OM got away w shit like that all the time. Early in game J Scott gets his whole head taken off by his facemask and no call. Then Bama breaks huddle w 12 men backed up I believe and Yeldon just runs off the field. No flag. And the last most obvious, I'm sitting field level looking right fucking down the goal line and 2/3 of the Bama player and the ball crossed the goal line and he throws it back and the B judge never fucking flinches and spots it at the half yard line. The place goes crazy, gets loud. And we run Dr Bo right into a safety out of the shotgun. Just. Like. That.

Tyler Siskey is the new Doyle Jackson. You cannot tell me that this fucker is not a Benedict Arnold. Fuck bama

Bad calls happen everywhere, but nowhere are the calls, no-calls, spots, etc. so consistently one-sided as they are in BDS. Do deny this would be silly.

Facemask!
Oh wait! BAMA player? No foul on the play!

holding bama to 9 points in the first half is a moral victory
MORAL VICTORIES SUCK ASS!!!!

Are you fucking kidding me?
Flag to the fucking eye?

Good job refs
Blind our defender while you make bogus calls

Why the fuck does
it feel like they have 3 defensive players to every one of our offensive players?

Fuck Everything

Seriously
who the fuck is calling the plays

Fuck my life
Insult to injury x infinity

What the fuck, Freeze. We could have had points on the board but you wanted to go for it on the fourth. Fuck everything. Fuck this game. Fuck Alabama. Fuck Freeze's awful fourth down playcalling. I'M GETTING DRUNK YOU ASSHOLES.

At the post game interview: "Coach Freeze why not try and kick any field goals?"
"What the fuck is a field goal?" - Freeze

Fuck this gay Earth\

I'm so angry I can't talk. Freeze must have money on Bama, that's the only thing about his play calling this game that makes any sense.

I in no way thought we were going to win but still what the fuck Coach Freeze.

No way that is fucking PI - Bama will not lose with these refs. Damn you Slive.

horse shit, how is that not targeting? refs are so deep in them bama pockets they arent watching the game

It's as if "after further review" means "after further review from SEC Chairman Saban".

Every coach in the SEC should realize just how low Saban will stoop to win, even hiring personal to stab their supposed friend in the back. Siskey will get no relief from me.

It could be THE REASON. Having a person in the press box with binoculars and a headset to the sideline, who can telegraph plays is HUGE. Why do you think teams have closed practices? It caused our plays to fail and kept our D on the field too long. Prick Satan proves he stoops to new lows. He's a crook in a suit with a briefcase.

It's obvious that Slive gave them their instructions. That call, on the first drive, cost us the game. We have no chance with the entire SEC against us.

the league will always protect its marquee names, and always screw over the rest. We could be winners if we went the Boise State route or the TCU route, but we won't do that. Out of greed. Out of the desire to rather be a whore than a winner. We would rather a school like Bama, LSU or UF to win it -- because we get an equal share of the pie.

who was the guy a few yrs ago who made an ABSOLUTELY BLATANT pro bama call to give them the game? wasn't it___ jones? the SEC hdq needs to be in boise or little rabbit. it all just makes me wanna hurl.

TYLER is a douche. He will always be a douche in my book.NCAA investigation or not.NCAA violation most definitely. But it's Bama.NCAA is already on the ropes.That shit last night will go on deaf ears.

via cdn2.sbnation.com

Lane Kiffin is the Lane Kiffin of college football

Drinking game: take a shot every time kiffin does something stupid

Have fun PAC-12! We are officially irrelevant.

wow, we're giving up 60 points to a team that's not oregon.

GG ASU. until next year, where we get our asses kicked again.

Yes, Lane, that's the ticket: GO DOWN IN FLAMES!

"It is always darkest before the day dawneth." -Thomas Fuller, 1650
Question is, when the FUCK does the day dawn???

Where is the whiskey?

ASU PLEASE on-side kick it, to rub it in kiffin's face. PLEASE

I think I'm going to nickname this game "Squirting in the Desert".

I miss the John David Booty years.

It's spelled Kiff-IN as in get the fuck out.

YES, A SCREEN ON 3RD AND LONG WITH NO BLOCKERS! WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED!

FUCKTHISSHITOMYGODWHYWHYWHYWHYWHWYWHYWHYWHYHY

I feel like we're watching the wheels officially come off the season and Kiffin go headlong into the furnace.

HA! See you all during Water Polo season!

I wish I could drunk dial Pete right now
"Hey."
"Um, hello?"
"Shhhhh, shhh, shhh. Let me just hear you breathe."
"What?"
"Russell Wilson is a bitch." click

WELL, SC FANS!!! ANY REMAINING ALCOHOL YOU HAVE MUST BE COMPLETELY CONSUMED IN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES IN ORDER TO FINISH THIS GAME.

Why are you calling running plays on 3rd down, you insufferable buffoon?

Fuck me, it just gets worse.