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NSFW: It's Meltdown Time!

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This week's edition of our shameless revelry in the misery of others.

Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Hard to believe it's already rivalry week, signaling the end of another college football regular season. Guess time really does fly when you're having fun, eh? Oh, well. At least there is time for a couple more meltdowns before it's gone. As usual, the post below contains horrible language, racism, totally inappropriate references to sex acts both voluntary and involuntary, etc. etc. If you are easily offended read no further. You have been warned.

This week we focus on Gators, Aggies, Bears, Ducks, and Vols. Reports out of Gainesville suggest that local liquor stores have stocked up on the hard stuff this week as Gator fans prepare for what is coming. The Aggies played poorly in Red Stick and I learned that BAS, or Battered Aggie Syndrome, is apparently a thing. Wonder if anyone is researching this? Baylor's fans are sad to have seen their national title hopes and very likely conference title hopes dashed in one fell swoop, and the Ducks are realizing that their day in the sun may be coming to a close. And I truly believe that the Vols exist solely for our amusement at this point.




Unfortunately, I don't think this loss will change anything. Love Will and think he will eventually be a great head coach. However, Jesus shitface Christ.

If anyone needs me, you can find me in a back alley behind some bar, i'll be doing meth and sucking my new friend Charlie's dick.

Worst part about this is all the asshole FSU fans.
I'd never say anything about FSU if they shit the bed like we are right now.
There's rivalry, and then there's just being an asshole.

We paid them $550,000 to embarrass us at home. . .

Guys... It'll all go away when we beat FSU next weekend!

This team has given me erectile dysfunction.

New goal for the football season.. screw up FSU's strength of schedule even more.

Burn it down. Fire them all. There is zero excuse for this fucking pathetic performance.
Take Muschamp and his whole staff and get them the fuck out of here.

Are you fucking kidding me? This is god damned Georgia Southern. We should be plowing their line and killing them in the backfield, not giving up 50 yard run plays like clockwork.
Jesus fuck, man. This whole season sucks.

if I hear Jet Sweep one more time Im punching a kitten.

This is insane, simply insane. We can't keep Muschamp at this point, he keeps saying don't blame the players it's my responsibility. Well you have run the god damn ship into the funking iceberg and then backed up and run it into the iceberg again!

Well that's that. We have officially hit bottom.
So long Will. You suck. Good luck in your future endeavors. I won't miss you at all.
What is the abbreviation for we suck?

Coach needs to change his name to Won't Muschamp.

Muschamp is the worst ****ing coach on earth, plain and simple. His defense is shit, his offense is shit, his special teams is shit. I could do better than him. Naia coaches are better than this pile of shit that we continue to let disgrace our great program with the total pile of shit he says is coaching....I am sorry for my language but this needs to be said. I can't take this anymore and wish I had the money to influence the program in some way and I hope those of you who do get this guy fire TONIGHT!!!!

There is no liquor cabinet deep enough to drown the pain.

Will is our guy!!! 1000%!!!! 11-1 baby 11-1 last year, nomsayin'? 2012 SEC COACH OF THE FREAKING YEAR!!! No coach could overcome these injuries and beat GA Southern! TIME OF FREAKIN POSSESSION, MAN!!!

gosh you guys get a grip Muschamp is really good looking and could go 7-5 without injuries

If you still believe Muschamp is the guy you deserve to be punched in the face. Also I don't think that girl is the only thing Jameis Winston will rape this year.

Wow... Folks said I was drunk when I said we would lose to UL in the Sugar Bowl. Than I was on drugs when I said we would lose to Miami, UGA and even Vandy. Then folks said they wanted what I was smoking when I said we would lose to GSU. And even now, folks still think I'm drunk, high, out of my mind??? Unreal.

If this isn't enough for Foley to hit ctr-alt-delete on this staff I don't know what is. The absolute worst offense I have ever seen in my life.

Well at least my saturdays are free now for a long long time...imagine how productive I can be now that I give less than a midget's s#it about this fooking team!

You try to excuse the bonehead execution and untimely penalties by this group of dread-locked dead-heads? Kiss my moronic ass.

No more pumping. Fire Muschump now. Before we lose to FSU by a bazillion points. He has flushed our program down the commode

By the way...what is the line now on the FSU game? Could be first ever 100+ line

Dear Muschimp:
Go to the laundry room and await further instructions.
Gator Nation

Well after next week I am 100% certain Winston's DNA can be found on our

Hey that was the best game for Muschumps pass defense in his entire career.



Hell, if we WOULD tackle more blacks, we'd be back in this game

Ok. I am ready to be taken to an Egyptian prison to be sodomized with a pole wrapped in electrified barbed wire. It would be less painful than watching us fold like wet tissue against a bunch of corn dog licking yard dogs.

It's sad that year after year, with everything else going on in life, I let a group of 20 year olds determine my happiness....what can you do I guess

That was uglier than my divorce....

So much SWAG on the field right now!

Still a great season regardless of this game. We beat Vandy and undefeated in non-conference.

Honest question...if we could, how many defenders would we have to put on the field to stop the lsu offense? 12? 13? Or 20 maybe? I think it would at least take 14 or 15.

Grown men aren't supposed to cry, but this game......

our uniforms look like Dr. Pepper Ten cans.

Oh Goddammm it LSU. Nice work Fuck you. Nice work though. Oh Gaoddammit fuck you.

Battered Aggie Syndrome is never cured, only lies dormant.

So... fuck this, fuck that, fuck everything. Good day, LSU. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT. Good day.

The Aflac duck better be going to work on our team in the locker room

I hate tigers. I'm boycotting Frosted Flakes forever.

Goodbye game.
Goodbye moon.
Goodbye Heisman.
Goodbye night.

Oh I see. It's going to be a sad drinking night.

Well Ags i vote we jump on the Bourbon bandwagon. You're always a champion when your ride the bourbon train to drunk town.


Johnny must not like corn dogs because something about playing LSU makes him sick

Well, a few questions answered....At least we don't have to listen to this Heisman stuff for the rest of the season....This Obamacare of a defense is beyond sad....Johnny looks mortal...

Do they still have a Gallery Furniture/Uncle Ben's Rice/Meineke Muffler/Tony's Paint and Body Shop Bowl?

I am going to borrow my wife's sewing machine. I am designing the Swiss Cheese uniforms, the ones with lots of holes in them.

we joke about it all the time about wanting Mack Brown to keep his job... at least yellow teeth was smart enough to change his poor defensive coach..... why isn't Sumlin able to make some changes?

Think USC still wants Sumlin?

go ahead and bring that tiger dick out...



No fuck you and I hope your cousin gives you aids

Ahh, there it is. I was wondering when I would feel the old stuff. Here's the Baylor I used to know.


Just remember. We found didn't make a bowl game before 2010. Fuck life.

just locked up all the sharp objects in my house

We are getting boat raced fellas. Panic has set in.

Time to find some bourbon.

Any chance Briles has just been setting up the biggest troll game ever over the OSU pokes?
I mean.... I'm just saying, there's a poss... {sobs silently}

There's not enough Beer & Tequila in Waco to make the Baptist's forget what they did tonight!

Is Mike Gundy the Devil?
Weird stuff happens when we play him on his home turf. I have not personally seen him and the devil at the same time together....hmmmm....

If I hear about us not winning since 1939 one more time, the TV is going out the window

think we ever score tonight? that 60+ pt / 685 avg means jack squat. We beat up on a bunch a pansies. Play a real team and we choke.

I'm glad Art Briles doesn't wear the same tampons as Yogi.

Goodson is getting raped. Over and over and over.

This is what happens when you wear gay ass unis

Petty shows he's a system qb. Lee is an idiot. Our secondary is exposed. The idea that many of the media, and you on baylorfans, promoted, that our defense was better against the pass than the run, has been proven false. We got absolutely destroyed by the pass tonight. It was our greatest weakness. I wish I could go back and count the number of tds that Morton/Goodson have given up over the years, but then.... I don't feel like it.

I wonder if any of the "we'd hang 60 on Alabama folks" have gotten a reality check yet.

Scanning the web for a discount therapist who works late on Saturdays.

Now they are rubbing it in. Why not act like Briles does and just run?

Who cares what OSU does. Shove it up our ass for all I care.

Wow. Offense sucked, defense sucked, special teams sucks, coaching sucked. But we won coin toss.

I'm disappointed that stage fright beat us. It was evident from the beginning that we played without any pants on

Teams who would have beat us tonight:
Lake Travis
probably Florida

I froze my balls off to watch that. Literally. I don't have balls anymore, I have 2 ice cubes.

We laid an egg in the biggest road game of our Baylor Bears tonight. We FAILED on an epic scale. We are out of the National Championship picture and now will get to play spoiled brat JFF or underachieving LSU in the Cotton Bowl. Forgive me for being disappointed or pissed. I am in no mood to sing Kumbaya or play grab ass. Hope you feel better for neg repping me. You both can simply kiss my ass.

Oklahoma State made the Bears bend over and spread their cheeks tonight



One word for this coaching staff FRAUD....OC needs to go first....MH is a Boy Scout not a head football coach. No balls to make the hard call with his OC . This has become a candy ass program in one year. most teams get better we get worse....let make he season 8 games and we would them all. Coaches try to man up here and watch the BCS show tonight....take your medicine...

Fastest bourbon run of my life. And most necessary.

How bad did Stanford mindfuck the Ducks? Jesus Christ... I wish I could say I'm surprised, but... Chip Kelly wouldn't let Oregon teams think that the sky was falling even if it was. Helfrich just doesn't give this team that mental toughness. The swagger and confidence that the Ducks had in spades before the Cardinal game is GONE. Dead, buried. It was NCG or nothing, and now it looks like nothing.

I see we're wearing 50 shades of grey today.

Fuck the wine. Opening the scotch.

We're never going to hear the end of this...

We're fumbling in the red-zone harder than a virgin school boy with a girl on her period.


I cant watch this anymore. You'd think after a lifetime of watching Oregon sports teams implode, I would have learned. Apparently not.

Can you imagine what would have happened if FSU or Alabama actually DID get hold of Oregon? shudder

Fuck this play calling, fuck these receivers, fuck these refs, fuck the sun, fuck oxygen, fuck this game, and fuck everything.

So in other news, I'm really hoping that I'll make the meltdown thread.

We have clearly pissed off some vengeful football god who wants us down. I blame the "Rose Bowl been there done that" attitude of some of the players and apparently we're still paying the karmic piper on the "we want Bama shirts".

welp, looks like I'm going to crack into my Ninkasi soon.

Chef-Boyardee Bowl, here we come...

The last time I remember the Ducks being truly ass-raped like this was when they got blown apart by USC back in 08, sure the LSU game was bad, but it doesn't have the same feel this one does.

I made a bet before this season started...
If Arizona beat Oregon I would shave my head...

Why does my chest feel tingly and I have these shooting pains in my arm?

"Wait, Oregon got more than 7 yards with the ball? Better throw a flag." -Pac Refs
"Shit we are doing well? Better commit a penalty or fumble the ball." -Oregon

And on the radio, an ad for LASIK immediately after a referee call. That cannot be coincidence.

Hi everyone, just checking to do a quick count on the number of slit wrists so far

Why the hell do we even have refs? All calls should be decided by the viewers at home via text message.


For Christmas I would like a third down stop. Fuck the pony this year. Thank you.


I've been watching Duck football since 1970
and this is probably the most embarassing and disgusting performance I've seen since the 1983 toilet bowl. Thanks a lot, ducks!

The old shitbag in the announcing booth makes me want to stick my head into a meat grinder

I believe our D can reasonably be called "fraudulent" at this point.

If we run another god damn corner of the endzone throw on 4th and goal in this decade, I'm quitting the blog.

I'm turning this shit show off. Fuck this game
Have a great night folks


I'm ready to throw this computer through my TV. SUCH FUCKINGGARBAGE


Ducks laid an egg

Whats the best textual approximation of vomitting noise?
Thats how I feel right now



We're not the best team in the nation... Fine

We're not the best team in the SEC... OK

We're not the best team in the SEC east... Alright

We're not the best team in Tennessee... Fucking hell.

Come on defense. Don't fuck this up. I don't want to see this fucking comment on Meltdown Time next week.
Edit: god damn....

2 weeks to prepare and you lose to Vandy? Might as well cancel the football program because you have reached new lows Beelzebub would be proud of.

How many recruits does Ga Southern steal from us after this?

There is no excuse for the excrement we witnessed tonight! I for one do not want to even hear from CBJ, he needs to keep his looser mouth shut until he does something or just take his worthless azz back to MI.

Yea we got robbed, when we paid all those millions to hire butch and his staff.

I have been a Vols fan for over 30 years and I have reached a really sad point. For me, there is nothing even remotely enjoyable about this program anymore. For several years now, it's just a gut wrenching kick to the nuts week in, week out. Yes, we beat USCe this year and once with Kiffin, but nothing but utter agony and disappointment has followed.
There used to be a time when being a UT fan was fun. Win or lose, we ALWAYS had a shot to win. Now, we can't even look to Vandy as a win.
By all means, there will be those on this board that will flame me, and that's fine. But I bet there are just as many who have reached this same conclusion. This just isn't fun anymore...

Celebrate your ass off then realize it was UNC and LSU all over again then break your surround sound and THEN.......Eat Xanax's and drink bud light not that I condone it IJS..

Seriously thinking about taking some time off as a UT fan for a while. Not saying I won't pull for them anymore but I think it has become a detriment to my health to "care" so much about this program the way I have! I have been too emotionally invested for too long! I may have to step away for a while!
In the last month I've gone from elation, to angry, and now I'm back to a state of apathy. There's one game left, and I honestly couldn't care less.

I cant even tolerate myself most saturdays. Im best for my loved ones when the team has a bye wk. Its getting more and more sick. Looking foward to offseason.

Magic man dobbs. is he smart enough to know which way is forward?

Everyone buttchug.

not sure why i tuned in to this one, all they do is piss me off. every fucking saturday I'm pissed off and I'm tired of being angry on a saturday.

Does anyone seriously think CBJ is a good coach?

"This is unacceptable at Tennessee." Then next week they'll go out and do worse.

Decommits on the way. I'm done. This is detrimental to my health.

Can we just move down to FCS and lose there?

This is Tennessee football.
This is CBJ and Staff.
What is not to believe?
What the hell have you been watching all year?
This is who the Vols have become.

If we lose to Kentucky, I'm cancelling my Farm Bureau Insurance.

I just kicked five buckets of lightbulbs.

Butch has lost me thought he wad the BOMB after USC but he is piece of s*** and he can take his brick by brick bs and all his crap and leave when his contract expires

Our program just plain of SUXXXX! No arguing, no debating, we are barely above Arkansas as the laughing stock of the SEC! LOSERS!!!!

F-u-ck this s-h-I-t
These guys can't catch a fucking break
God either hates tennessee football or they're literally cursed
What the fuck ever

Please Dear Lord God, let us forfeit UK. Don't make the fans watch this abortion of a team ever again.

i hope we lose to ky and fire this a..hole and his clowns.

I am calling the bottom.
We just hit rock bottom. Can't get any worse than tonight.
Happy holidays.

Where's the CBJ apologists now? This team has gotten worse over the season, not better! CBJ was Fing out coached in every aspect of this game!
It's 7 or 8 wins next year or this POS can hit the road too! F him and his best staff in the country!

do you guys thing Georgia Southern will play Tennessee for a cupcake game next year in their first year as an FCS team?

I want Butch Jones to hand write me a letter of apology for what hes doing to my liver.


Jesus. If that hole was any bigger, I'd call it my ex girlfriend.

Who the fuck let Dooley sneak into the coaches box and call that shit?!

that's the most controversial overruling I've ever seen. the cameras didn't show shit but a pile of players. couldn't see the ball. fuck this bullshit

The last two minutes was so much fucking bullshit. Fuck this game and fuck the booth.