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Who Needs a Blogpoll Week 14: #BamaForCadeFoster

Who knew elephants laid eggs on Thanksgiving?

National treasure, Alpha Cracker and owner of all things Dabo.
National treasure, Alpha Cracker and owner of all things Dabo.
Streeter Lecka

Well, that just absolutely sucked, didn't it? But, systemic issues we've seen all season finally got us in the end, including, but not limited to, some pretty baffling coaching decisions and the Auburn Jinx Ghost/officiating.

That said, we obviously have some shakeup in the poll. Surprisingly, to some, is that Auburn does not move up. Alabama outgained Auburn by 2 yards a play, outgained them by 100 yards, won the turnover battle, and -if not for mistakes, would have won going away. The poll reflects that reality as well as the body of work, and Auburn's many struggles with some pretty mediocre competition. I think Mizzou wins the SECCG pretty handily.

Praise? Opprobrium? Take it up in the comments; this is a truncated version owing to the holiday and desultory post-Iron Bowl funk.

Rank

Team

Last Week

1

Florida State Seminoles

2

2

Missouri Tigers

4

3

Ohio State Buckeyes

3

4

Alabama Crimson Tide

1

5

Auburn Tigers

6

6

Oklahoma State Cowboys

7

7

South Carolina Gamecocks

10

8

Stanford Cardinal

11

9

Arizona State Sun Devils

12

10

UCF Knights

14

11

Baylor Bears

13

12

LSU Tigers

16

13

Oregon Ducks

15

14

Wisconsin Badgers

9

15

Clemson Tigers

8

16

Georgia Bulldogs

---

17

Northern Illinois Huskies

17

18

Duke Blue Devils

19

19

UCLA

25

20

Miami Hurricanes

23

21

Louisville Cardinals

---

22

Oklahoma Sooners

---

23

Cincinnati Bearcats

24

24

Texas Longhorns

---

25

Ball State Cardinals

---

O, Hai! Ball State Cardinals – The second best team in the MAC by far, and probably a 7-5ish kind of squad or better elsewhere. A bowl opponent gets a tough draw, against a potent offense in Mobile. Texas- The mindfart against a very good Okie State squad is forgiven. Oklahoma – Ugh. I guess? Louisville- See Oklahoma. Georgia Bulldogs- That was some gumption from hell for a team losing its leader, and all-everything. A healthy UGA is a national title threat. Can beat the hell out of any of the teams below them...even with the injuries.

Be Gone! Aggies – Either Mizzou is a world-beater right now or Aggie has seriously slipped as the season progressed. A little of both we think. Ole Miss – Inexcusable; absolutely pitiful effort. USC – Not sure the bigger loss: Getting smacked by UCLA or hiring Sarkisian while never really giving a meaningful look at anyone else. Go home, Pat Haden, you are high on smog. Minnesota- It was a fun ride, lads. That said, I'm not sure anyone wants to play Wisconsin right now. Fresno State – You had one job; run a mediocre-to-bad slate in the Mountain West. Not only did you fail to do so, you gave up 62 to San Jose State (and don't think we forgot the 51 Rutgers put up).

Social Promotion: Oregon – It wasn't pretty, but rivalry games seldom are. UCLA- Most complete game of the season. This team is going to be hell on wheels next season. Arizona State – Your 2013 PAC12 champions. Wait and see. Florida State -Obviously. Vomit. Missouri-leap frogs an undefeated, because this team can beat you with offense, defense, and is just all around the quietest, most complete team in the country not named Florida State.

Held Back: Alabama – Poor coaching was matched only by poor execution, particularly in the secondary, offensive line and special teams. Those are to be expected to some extent; the drops by the wide receiving corps were not. That said, if you think Cade Foster lost this game, then please go play in traffic. #BamaForCadeFoster Wisconsin-Second most depressing result of the day. Stave laid a stinking egg and Penn State whipped the Badgers every way imaginable. Clemson-You'd think by now we'd quit believing in Dabo. This team's issues were disguised all season by superior talent and an assy ACC...oh, HAI, Alabama in Orange!

Last Out: None of you. There aren't twenty-five teams that even deserve to be ranked, frankly.