clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Monday Musings: Troll Bama Troll

New, 108 comments

One man's opinion on recent events, Bama sports, and various nonsense.

It's good to be king.
It's good to be king.
Tom Pennington

Watching the Dark Lord masterfully troll Bob Stoops and the Sooners last week (and the, uh, Big 12 or whatever it is) inspired me to call out a few teams/fanbases who, for various reasons, are quite simply getting on my nerves. While it's great to be the envy of the college football world, hearing the same nonsense from the same people just gets old. This list is in no way intended to be exhaustive as it basically focuses on those in our back yard. Feel free to chime in with any other incessant whining, crying, complaining, paranoid, or otherwise downright pathetic groups you'd like to hammer on. Oh, and if you happen to belong to one of these groups, feel free to tell me where I'm wrong. In any event, here's my list. They jealous, y'all. So, so jealous.

Tennessee: Obviously Tennessee should always make the top of any Bama fan's hate list, but this time it's for a different reason. Their team is now so perpetually awful that it's getting harder to hate them, and I hate them for that. I hate them even more for killing our strength of schedule, though, which not only could come back to bite us one year but also exposes us to constant whining from the likes of...

LSU: Funny thing, the LSU folks have always been among my favorites. I've known quite a few folks from Louisiana over the years and have generally found them to be a fun-loving group that is passionate but easy to get along with. Recently, however, they are challenging for the league lead in whining and conspiracy theories. Yeah, we get it. Y'all had to beat us twice in 2011 to win the title and you couldn't. Guess what? The writers saw the first game that year for what it was: an upset where the scoreboard didn't match what happened on the field. They also whine about getting sent to the Peach last year where (guess what?) they lost. Again. Now they're whining about the schedule because they have to play Florida and UGA next season while we get Tennessee and Kentucky, some even calling it a conspiracy (the schedule maker's a Bammer!) Good gawd, the butt hurt is strong with that crowd right now. Deal with it, Cajuns. With all this "SEC office is out to get us" stuff you're starting to sound a little like...

Auburn: I could entertain myself for days reading threads like these. Nobody plays the "everybody hates us" card like the Barn, folks. They are absolutely convinced that the NCAA office is in Saban's back pocket. All of our players are on the REC's payroll, y'all, and get free suits, cars, textbooks (OK, that one happened), and whatever else it takes to keep them motivated. Emmert knows this and turns a blind eye. Meanwhile, ESPN just can't stop with their anti-Auburn agenda long enough to expose us for the cheaters we are. Oh, and their main concern right now is whether their athletic department is too religious. Never change, Barners. Never change. And finally...

UGA: At some point you would think that these folks would come to terms with who they are: a good-but-not-great football program who will probably never win a national title under Richt. Of course, they would have had one this year if the refs in Atlanta had just been fair. See, our OL didn't simply wear down their perilously thin defensive front, we just got away with holding the whole game. Oh, and the Dawgs are totally into the whole moral superiority bit, among the most vocal crowds to claim that Saban is dirty, evil, lies to recruits, mistreats his players, etc. News flash Dawgs: in order for Saban to oversign, lots of elite recruits must be willing to compete for playing time at Bama rather than succumb to the UGA staff's begging them to start as freshmen. I guess having a front row seat to a national title game while learning from multiple future NFL stars in their position group as well as the best coaching staff in the nation is attractive to some kids and their parents. Unfathomable, ain't it? It is to them, anyway.

Have a great week everyone. Troll Tide.