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The Game of SEC Thrones

One conference to rule them all.
One conference to rule them all.

Alright, folks. The weekend is nigh upon us, which means it is time for the Roll Bama Roll Weekend Sendoff. For this week's sendoff, we'll be matching up SEC programs to Game of Thrones characters. A few ground rules up front: I haven't read the books, and this thread isn't the place to start dropping spoilers for those of us that have only followed the series on television. With that being said, this past season had some pretty major occurrences that are discussed below, so if for some reason you aren't finished with the season yet (and no matter what you have going on, it's not a good enough reason), I wouldn't read on until you are caught up.

For added fun, I've included 5-second (read: VERY LOW QUALITY) photoshops to help flesh out the matchups.

Remember friends, when you play the game of thrones, you win, or you die.

Alabama - Tyrion Lannister

The one person fit to rule the realm. A cunning master of strategy. His enemies try to use his height against him, but their barbs will only land them in ruin.

Arkansas - Rob Stark

Brash, and overly sure of himself. The self-appointed King of the North has a taste for the unconventional when it comes to choosing a wife. Haplessly walks into slaughter.

Auburn - Joffrey

Snot-nosed and universally despised. He was crowned two years ago, and he is just now starting to come to the realization that he's not nearly as powerful as he presumes. RELATED GIF: LINK

Florida - Sandor Clegane (The Hound)

A brute known for his savagery much more than his ability to reason. Once a loyal servant of a Lannister, he's now forging a path on his own.

Georgia - Beric Dondarrion, The Lightning Lord

Loyal servant of the Lord of Light, he has been killed (on the hot seat) several times, only to be revived and allowed to continue to fight.

Kentucky - Varys

Seemingly the one person in the entire lot that has accepted his place in the order of things. Will never be the one to lead a charge to oust a king, as he is... quite impotent.

LSU - Mance Rayder, King of the Wildlings

Beyond the wall, he has a steady supply of homegrown soldiers. Though his forces may lack the discipline of other units, they are headstrong, and fully capable of wreaking havoc.

Ole Miss - Sansa Stark

Hopelessly optimistic, despite the fact that the optimism is never rewarded. Things only go from bad to bad, yet a misguided (stupid?) sense of hope that things will get better persists.

Miss St - Hodor

Dumb, lovable, and handy as a stepstool.

Missouri - Rickon Stark

Wait. Who? Exactly.

South Carolina - Olenna Redwyne, The Queen of Thorns

Her wit is as sharp as her tongue. And at her advanced age, she has little regard for how others perceive her.

Tennessee - Jaime Lannister

Incestous. Once the smarmiest face in the land, recent humiliations have humbled this braggart, and he now spends much of his time tending to his massive wound and reminiscing of the good old days when he was capable of slaying a king.

Texas A&M - King Walder Frey

Historically a doormat. Had one good, strategic move, and now he sits gloating in his unimpressive keep, oblivious to approaching comeuppance.

Vanderbilt - Samwell Tarly

Likable enough, and mostly harmless.