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Saban to Texas: The UN-Parody

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Self-fulfilling prophecy? Or just a lot of great minds thinking alike? For God's sake, PUT DOWN THE CACTI, PEOPLE!

Tim Heitman-US PRESSWIRE

SLICE OF LIFE: Just so everyone is perfectly clear, this isn't a parody.  We're not predicting doom and gloom, but this is a very real story that is breaking (see AP story below) that we thought you all would want to know about.

When you have the best coach in college football, there are a few burdens you must bear.

For one, your coach's name comes up in just about every conversation regarding an opening. We know this to be so, because even a guy like Jon Gruden gets mentioned for a job like the University of Tennessee, even though we know that Hey Paul did you know that Gruden's wife is from Tennessee and he has some property there and his favorite baby pillow was orange and he has a hound dog named Smokey and also did you know that Clay Travis was a lawyer and he married a cheerleader and imma hang up and lissen!

So, given the Godawful state of the University of Texas football program -- and the state of their headliner athletics as a whole -- it would seem certain that the well-heeled keepers of the treasury at the Forty Acres would at least see if they could scrape up a pile of filthy lucre tall enough that Nick Saban could not ignore.

I have friends over at the Barking Carnival community. Nice, whip-smart, passionate bunch over there. And as much as our fanbase would like to paint them as simply being butthurt over Colt McCoy's phantom arm numbness, they have been lusting after the thought of getting their own Saban. For every snarky comment about oversigning, or $EC, or the intelligence of our players, there are many more comments of respect about how The Process plays out. They know quality and professionalism when they see it -- and the only thing they would like better than having our Nick Saban is finding and grabbing the next one that comes along, and paying him $12-million a year.

So it's not surprising that someone from high up in Bellmont would be doing this:

APNewsBreak: Texas regent talked to Saban's agent

The meeting took place a few days after Alabama won the national championship in January. Two days later, Brown was approached by the former regent to consider retiring. Brown, who had just finished his 15th season, said he did not want to quit and the matter was dropped.

I can't in good conscience paste any more of the relevant passages, because the story is just that short.

A lot of details will be coming out about this.

And to make things maddening, a lot more of them won't.

But fear not... Miss Terry likes it here. And even if we win our fourth in five years, the challenge isn't over for Coach Saban.

After all -- someone needs to set the early record for most championships in the Playoff Era.

Roll Tide -- and hope for the best.