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How I Plan On Watching the BCS Championship Game

Y'all remember when I said we should pull for Auburn in the SEC Championship game?


Yeah, I guess I over dosed on antler spray in Orlando cause that was, well, dumb. Luckily I have regained at least a small portion of my sanity and have chosen to pull for the 'Noles in tonight's BCS championship game..kind of.

You see, this is my sports hell. Think about if Tennessee and Auburn played in a national championship game against each other...


As a resident of Tallahassee, FL I'd like nothing else for the Seminole fan base to witness their team embarrassed by Auburn in front of the entire county. This would be bring me unspeakable joy.

However, this is Auburn and one does not simply cheer for the boogs and retain his dignity...

I'll be at a sports bar tonight with my FSU buddies watching the game and my reactions during the game will be mixed. At the start of the game, after realizing Bama is in fact not playing...


Followed by




As the chants of GO NOLES grow louder and louder my emotions will turn


For every Roll Tribe I hear, my inner gump will scream


My prediction for the game is that FSU will be up by 21 after the 1st quarter. For most of you this will be an enjoyable experience..


For me, however....


As the game progresses I'll become increasing uncomfortable and my mood will be generally annoyed..


I will do my best to avoid ruining the game for my friends who have been waiting for this since 1999....


But I will fail miserably and my friends will probably be like..


Honestly, I want no part of this. I'd rather watch the worst musical ever written (which is all of them) on constant loop than sit through four hours of this nonsense.


The old Lyell will want to drown his sorrows..


But the new Lyell who has to work tomorrow will choose the more mature option of


In the end, nothing good will come from tonight's game. NOTHING. You may want FSU to win but for me and my house I'll be praying for an...