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NSFW: It's Meltdown Time! Week Nine

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This week's edition of our shameless revelry in the misery of others.

Chris Graythen

Week Nine of the Meltdown features a couple of new entrants in Ole Miss and Texas Tech along with Meltdown stalwarts Texas and Michigan. Texas fans will simply never get used to losing on a regular basis to teams from Kansas. Michigan was drubbed again by its in-state rival and then found out after the game that some of the Wolverine players had driven a spear into the Spartan head on the field before the game. Apparently the belief is that this provided additional motivation for Sparty and, to make matters worse, head coach Brady Hoke says he had no clue that the spear incident even happened. Texas Tech gave up 82 (!) points to TCU, and Ole Miss saw its unbeaten streak come to an end in Baton Rouge as Bo Wallace threw away the final chance at a tie with an inexplicable interception that apparently went against his coach's orders. As always, the language in this post is absolutely horrifying. If you are offended by vulgarity read no further. You have been warned.

Give me a fucking break. Fuck this crew. Right in the pussy

Hughes likes facerape

Hey foot, hows that bullet taste?

Oh fuxk me in the hemmroids

What in the unholy fucking fuck is going on

1. Get a first down
2. Shoot self in foot

Nap time. Fuck this god damn mother fucking game. I'm fucking done. TV off. Soon to have a controller lodged in the middle of it.

I'm beginning to be ok with being a volleyball school

I'm out. Fuck this shit. No wait. I'm back. Goddammit! That's it. I'm out for real this time. Ok, I'm back.

how many fucking times are these announcers going to suck kstates cock about the penalties?

Listen to these faggot announcers.

Watching this team this yr has been like having a bad case of anal fissures and hemoroids. Some weeks there's no pain all is well minor discomfort. Other weeks it feels like you got fucked with a pinecone wrapped in barb wire dipped in salt and lemon juice. Today is that day

It took 4 minutes to call the holding on that rape.

our secondary just fucking blows. absolute fucking garbage.

After today's game, my kid's first word will be "holding."

Waters is a fucking cake.
Ksu db's are fucking garbage.
The fact we arent in this tells me we suck.
And #11? Are you fucking kidding me?

I'm telling you guys they are protecting Crazy Kat. The Big12 wants a rep in the first playoff, and they ain't going to let good officiating get in the way of that.

Watson is complete dog shit. There needs to be a dedicated thread to how much he sucks.

Thank god for commercials. I am getting tired of watching 60 minutes of abortion footage.

how come Kstate had a kicker who sucked BALLS, and they got him off the team, went out and found some rando guy who can kick field goals? Why the fuck cant we do that?

Fucking whores. Not a single point through 3 quarters against a bunch of JUCO fucks who barely made varsity in high school. Gotdamned unspeakable embarrassment.

oh look, a math faget!

literally losing to a team full of walkons

Can we get some Missourians to burn this fucking state down again?

we're getting our shit pushed in by scrubs. same as it ever was...

Fuck these mercenary scum

i could use a hillside handjob right about now

This team makes me want to drink battery acid.

Swoopes is a pussy.

on a positive note,swoopes does a great stevie wonder.

The refs are a complete abortion. Fuck them.

Such bullshit. I guess we're Iowa State now :(

Wow. I'm going to break everything I fucking own.

I'm not one to blame officiating, but these guys suck cock.

we got fucked and didn't even get kissed

Where the fuck is the defense? These guys act like the receivers have Ebola.

It just doesn't matter. This team sucks a fucking cock and has no fire or spirit. That's the main problem.

Our offense couldn't score against the KSU cheerleaders

We are the flagship in the most talent rich state. Kansas state is full of walk on and Jucos and kids that learned football last week and they own our asses yr in and yr out. Is this real life?

We still have too many pussies on the team.

These bastards suck a fucking fat penis. They should have hired gotdamned Patterson like I've been saying for 10 fucking years.

The coaching staff certainly has gotten the message that they get a free pass to put an absolute abortion on the field this year with impunity. The offense is consistently horrible, special teams are consistently inept and the defense is consistently inconsistent.

Well I'm gonna go jerk off with sand paper and mayonnaise.

i'm going to drink some unsweet tea mixed with clorox after watching this offensive output.
anyone else wanna join?

Look you fuckity fucking fag... When I notice a mismatch in the 1st Q of this game that leaves me with no hope of a victory, and declare 'game', unless you have some value-added insight that may make me change my mind, I would appreciate it if you kept your fucking useless comments to yourself. This shit ended like I called it 3 hours ago. Now go fuck yourself.

Fucking Snyder comes after the punt. Fuck that saggy-balled old asshole.

Another fucked up Saturday...I hate this fucking team. Charlie needs to evaluate the dirtbags he's surrounded himself with.

This team scores less often than I did in high school.

This is worse than MBTF.
This team gives up all the fucking time.
Im tired of the excuses, im tired of fucking losing, and this has been going on way too long now. I dont want to hear another fucking sunshine pumper anywhere near this program. There is absolutely zero to be happy about. If you think you see improvement, you need to get your eyes checked. We are the same team we were 2-3 years ago.

Who's the dead guy we have playing at right tackle?

We are on the edge of disaster. This team is about to quit. They need to win next week. What a disaster of a season this is turning out to be. At least we will have another class of Mack players gone.

"we own Texas".
is that what those fly-over state fagets are chanting?

we didn't play BAMA, did we? why are these purple cleats stuck up our asses?

Nuss is celebrating the HELL out of that moral victory....lol

It stopped hurting long ago, so now it's just kind of morbidly amusing

Please, make it stop

ESPN/ABC can fuck off with the cheap shots. We get it, Michigan sucks. No need to for the unnecessary, snarky comments.

Pathetic, embarrassing, all the adjectives don't even come close to describing this staff. This is literally unprecedented in all my years of watching college football to see a team with this much talent perform this terribly. I mean, you have to almost TRY to be this bad at coaching. To echo every single other Michigan fan's feelings, fire Brandon, fire Hoke!

We now play The Victors when we get a first down.

With an offensive TD we become bowl eligible, right?

Did they just say that Michigan doesn't have 100 yards of total offense after 3 qtrs? Please put us out of our misery and can the staff after this game?

This is what Michigan football has came to #ThanksObama

Hoke is not only an idiot, he has no control of this team whatsoever. Funchess is mailing it in, Devin barely moves in the pocket. They put Shane in for ONE PLAY then yank him to let Gardner finish because they changed their minds? Hill gets trucked by Cook early, then schooled by Lippett for a 70 yard TD. Kalis is a turnstile. and now Bolden is planting a stake or whatever into the head of the Spartan at midfield to piss off a team that has been beating our sasses. Lack of institutional control. This program is in total and complete dissarray. Hoke has to go.

Cool, who cares anymore? College football is so strange anymore. I think I'll go steal some crab legs.

What the Actual Fuck? A spear in the ground? Where does a "spear" even come into our lore? I can't defend these folks anymore if they're going to pull this shit. I hate Dantonio to the moon and back but I'm gonna take his side on this one. Our players are idiots, and coached by idiots. No respect, no humility, no skill, no effort, no awareness. Disgraceful

At least the team didn't take a collective dump on the block S. Otherwise, Michigan State could have literally rubbed Michigan's faces in it, rather than just figuratively. So yeah, maybe the spear thing was actually a good choice.

I simply can't get past the fact that Mr. Clap Clap Clap claims to not have been "fully aware" of the spear. wtf does that even mean? what IS he aware of other than the pregame meal menu and eating and practicing on time?!??!

Jesus Christ we're horrible.

Welp, Gardner, enjoy your career in social work. You clearly not a football player.

I would rather my team play dirty like MSU than like bitches like us.

MSU beats the shit out of our team both legally and illegally. We respond by rolling over and faking it. My guess us if some one walked up and punched Hoke in the face he would run....just like his team

Hoke is such a giant pussy. The biggest of pussies

Funchess nees to catch the fucking ball and not waddle back with his hands in the air wondering where PI was ONLY because the fans booed and found out they actually threw a flag. Yes it was PI. But go make a fucking play.

Score a damned touchdown, declare it a moral victory (jesus tapdancing christ, moral victories against MSU) and call it a day.

This is Hoke's Bobby Williams moment. Fire him immediately after the game.

I fucking hate msu fans. Fucking grade A dbags

Halftime Adjustment was to Mighty Ducks it: "take the fall, act hurt, get indignant".

In other news, Michigan State players are a bunch of motherfuckers. I have a truckload more of curse words I'd use if my mom wasn't in the room.

BOYCOTT EVERY GAME

They should remove Devon from the game and check him for concussion symptoms

Maybe we can score points by just taking a beating over and over and over again.

what a fukn DISASTER hes turned Michigan football into...

These guys fucking suck. The coaches suck, the players suck. Everything about this program sucks. This is the most disappointed I've ever been as a fan. Team 135 is a fucking joke...top to bottom.

Let Hoke walk the fuck home. Keep clapping motherfucker

I would rather squat on a cactus than watch this

Brady Hoke is a chicken shit

punt.
Craptistic defense.
Craptastic Coaching
The Crapper!

There's better things to watch on TV than this shitstorm. Do yourselves a favor - go do something enjoyable.

"Good call everyone who wanted shane to start. How do you feel now idiots? ??? We have a fucking 5th yr Sr. Ride or die. Shity shit fuck fart bullshit"For all of you who said something like that in the past fuck you. Shane was still an unknown. DG is known to fuck up. You were dicks for calling those of us out who wanted shane to start.And yes im drunk

Will trade FOUR whole cokes for a coach who wears a headset

I'll just start drinking heavily now

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ REPOST THIS IF ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL STRONG BASEBALL SCHOOL ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ WHO DON'T NEED NO FOOTBALL ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Webb spots them 6 points just before half, trying not to let us fans get our hopes up for another collapse like the WV game.
What a great fucking guy.

Feel free to buy us dinner next time refs.

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU THROWING TO?!?!?!?!!??

Missing: Texas Tech tackles
If found please return asap.

It feels like it's been a whole week since I've seen Webb pass this bad...

Should be at least a 7 point game but Webb can't stop choking on his own fucking dick.

These douchey Matthew McDouchehey commercials make me want to shit in the air vents of every Lincoln I see.

We are just one of the worst teams in human history.
Well this game is over.
What are yall drinking tonight?
Seen any good movies lately?
What's the funniest gif you've ever seen?

Stop passing the mother fucking football you fucking morons. Webb sucks dick. Our running game is great. Why are you fucking passing at all. Jesus fucking Christ

Showtime better be held accountable for this shit.

www.fireChiaverini.com Who's with me?

OK I'm taking myself out of the game, time to go grab a few beers and call it!

We fucking suck. TV Commentary has irked me all year until today. Theyre spot on. We cant even do the basics. Thats 100% on the coaches (special teams kick return where no tech player could even touch the ball). U either can't coach, ur players suck ass, or both. I think its both. Kliff has a total pass this year rightfully so. Better get this fucking team in gear next year or he'll have an increasingly short leash in year 4. This team is every bit as bad as we've ever been. Tubberville's teams werent this fucking bad.

Lets Put the Blame on who this clusterfuck really is on............
Adam James, Craig James, Gerald Myers, Dicky Grigg, Larry Anders, Jim Bob Sowell, And any other Rube who thinks Tech would "eventually be better off without MIke Leach."

Guaranfuckingtee you that Tech would be an elite team if Leach had stayed here. This sorry product you see is the rotten fruit of some corrupt nihilists that ran Texas Tech and some truly contemptible people.

This game is more about how we lost this game than tcu winning. Bet on whoever tcu plays next week. They will get beat. Chickenshits still throwing it. Fuck tcu and sweaty gp and big12 refs. Where's the hard liquor?

Wtf are the refs doing giving cheap shots to the chickenshit tcu defense. These refs should be suspended

is there a limit to how many points can be scored...

Does Patterson have a leg-length discrepancy or is that his pimp walk?

FUCK YOU FOURNETTE!!!
You're an over-rated hack. You suck and you know it.

I just aged 5 years.

Fuck everything

Jesus I don't think they could be louder if they had cowbells.

I can't even drink watching this... I've gone straight to the Tums....

STOP THROWING SO LOW BO GODDAMN IT

Watching football should be "fun," right? RIGHT?
I'm in a constant state of rocking back and forth, tensing up, then sighing in relief or screaming. It's like sex except it totally sucks.

FIX TUNSIL NOW
He can have my arm. Take it. It't not as good as his, but it works, and it's got a force of will.

Fuck our line in the ass

Bo is fucking toast. Get your goddamn head in the fucking game and out of the stands Bo. Talking shit to the fans behind the bench? Really?

Somebody, give Bo a xanex Let him pet a kitten. Give him his blankie. Whatever it is that does the trick, it's time.

How bout a hold ref? No? Okay, go fuck yourself.

Well folks, it was fun while it lasted. Best start Ole Miss had in my lifetime but the WAOM had to kick in eventually.

Bo Wallace I hate you

I knew we would lose this game. Fuck you bo wallace

I am almost crying. I'm blaming it on the Makers and spicy tacos

WHAT IN THE PICKLED SHIT IS THAT

Motherfucker I hope we lose to fucking Presbyterian. Piece of fucking shit offense and play calling. Fuck.

Excuse me. While I go start a riot.

Fuck ESPN and gameday, not a single bastard on that crew picked us in either game we had this year. FUCK LSU. I really don't know what I just watched. Bo looked so fucking bad its unbelievable. So much hope for the playoff. Did I say fuck lsu?

I'm certain the national media is relieved. They can kiss State's ass and go back to the old "Ole Miss is Waycist" narrative. Meanwhile I hope Gameday has fun in Morgantown. Look out for burning couches!

Penalty Ole Miss- Held the ball to tightly. 15 yard penitently.

Ole Miss will never make it anywhere. I've givin up all hope. Fuck that 4th quarter play calling. We couldn't run. Why did you keep trying. WHY!?! All I want is to see my team do well. FUCK YOU LSU. FUCK YOU